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Reflecting...3 Years On...

2012-01-15T21:43:00.003+10:00

Me holding a pair of Sai - 16th January, 2009

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."

- Confucious

Tomorrow, 3 years ago I achieved a major goal.

You would probably say that you already know what that goal was, and that in a nutshell I reached my goal of losing weight and regaining my fitness at the age of 40. And that was my goal...to be 'Fit-and-Fab-at-40'. And I did it! Pretty simple really. Lots of people do it.

However as we all know, achieving goals isn't just about the 'physical goal' of what we see on the outside. You and I both know that achieving goals is about the change that happens and the person you become through that process of striving to achieve your goal. It's about what happens to you on the inside...inside your head and inside your heart.

It's also about what happens around you.

It still amazes me how, that once we make a decision and we truly commit, what the universe provides for you in ways which you never anticipate in the way of doors opening, and opportunities presenting themselves.

I count my blessings often when I reflect on where I was 4 years ago, living in quiet desperation. Overweight, debilitated, unhappy and feeling hopeless. My saving grace would come in the form of a little girl, whom I decided, was the best reason to commit to change and become the role model I dreamt of being. Thank you to my darling girl, Philomena for giving me a reason to change.

The best part that came from all of this, after a great period of uncertainty in my life where I went through the loss of my martial arts club and those treasured friendships; my hopes and dreams and then loss of home, and business failure - trying to find my place in the world again and that passion I'd felt as a martial artist, was my husband telling me that it was nice to have 'the old Kerry' back. That old Kerry who was strong, determined, confident and lived life with passion.

So here I am.

I may be the old Kerry in persona, but I'm definitely a new, upgraded Kerry with a body that tells me that I'm no longer 20yrs old, but over 40 now. Life is now about achieving my physical goals with a different approach.

I would have to say that my biggest achievement is overcoming my injuries. How proud of myself, that I have defied what would stop most people from having an active and healthy life in the form of a back (disc) injury. Many give up. But I believe that you have to exhaust all avenues and search for solutions and the right people to help you. That is what I did and I continue to do. And I worked hard...I still work hard. Once I made that decision, I did all my rehabilitation exercises without fail. I still do.

That is why, three years on, I'm stronger, I'm fitter and I'm in better shape than I was back then. And I'll continue to get stronger, fitter and better. It's such a liberating state of body and mind to know that I am physically able to do just about anything I choose to do (within the confines of my injuries).

Today, 15th January, 2012, I'm about 2kgs over my normal weight back in 2009 (58kgs), pre-depletion. At 58kgs in 2009 I didn't look half as lean as I do at 58kgs, three years on. That excites me!

My before & After Shots over
During IBO Program - Start Prog.1(July 2008), Finish Prog.1, Finish Prog 2 (Jan 2009) - Over a 6 month period

I'm proud to have achieved something I always wanted to do, but never did. Of being in the Australian Army (Reserves) and the hard work I did in getting my body in shape to enlist and then complete my basic training. The whole process has been one of the most challenging...physically and emotionally, that I've ever encountered. It (Australian Army) still continues to challenge me in its' ability to constantly throw me curve balls, humble me, and regularly throw me out of my comfort zone. Some days I wonder why the hell I do this. But it makes me appreciate the simpler things in life and how wonderful my life is. Especially when I'm sleeping out under the stars on hard ground with only a sleeping bag and thin piece of plastic to protect me from the elements, and I haven't showered for days. It's times like these I count my blessings.

One of my goals is to do another photo shoot. However, it's still another two or so years away. That's just more time to work on building muscle and keeping lean. I'm curious to see what five years of training is going to look like, not just from an aesthetic point of view, but from a strength and fitness point of view. Of course, the pics must still be artistic. It's just trying to find the person that can get the shots I want and understand what I want to achieve. I've got lots of ideas and I look forward to one day being able to bring those photographic ideas to fruition.

Me with my coach, Liz Nelson in April 2011.
This is at my leanest and how I want to maintain 12 mths of the year.
I managed to maintain this up until about September 2011.

Me (and Philomena) on Christmas Eve 2011

There's just one other thing. I must admit that the hunger I had when I lost that initial weight in 2009 is not there. It's not that I've grown complacent. It's just that I've grown content. But in that contentedness there's always the realisation that in order to continue to make progress and maintain that leanness that I strive for I must remain vigilant and work hard at being disciplined.

Today there is more balance and acceptance in my life as I strive for my goals.

Life is good...life is great...and it just gets better!

How Hard Do You Train?

2012-01-11T16:27:00.000+10:00

Is it just me, or am I just getting old? Yes, I'm getting older and my body can't do as much physically, but crikey - some days I feel like absolutely shagged! I think about women who work full-time and workout and I wonder how they do it.

Yesterday I started my day at 4:40am.

You see...I took my daughter and nephew to the Qld State Library yesterday. I knew it was going to be a long day, and prepared all my food and Philomena's food the night before. I knew I wouldn't feel like working out, considering it was a strength training day, and at the moment these sessions are pretty taxing. So I decided to do my training before. My sessions ATM including about 20mins rehab, take 2.5hrs, so I needed to get to the gym early and have time to come home and pack our bags, etc before heading off. I also have to eat before a strength session and I like to eat no less than 1hr before I train.

By the time I got home it was around 6pm after dropping off my nephew, etc, etc. It was good that I got in my early morning session. I was in bed by 8:30pm last night. I could have gone to bed earlier if I didn't have to eat dinner.

Anyway...for those of you who work full-time, and in your 40's and have to train early in the morning...how the hell do you do it, day-in-day-out?

Now Liz did warn me that my sessions would be very taxing and I needed recovery-time. Well at first I just shrugged it off, but now I get it.

When I first start a new program I'm so excited and motivated and I imagine myself doing all these amazing, adrenaline-pumped, crazy workouts where I'm pushing myself like mad, and then I go home and do all the other stuff in my life that I plan each day and what others consider a normal part of being a mother, wife and general Mrs Fix-it...and...I'm still smiling and bouncing off the walls.

But often when I get home, reality kicks in and all I feel like doing is reclining on the couch and having a good old snooze....for the rest of the day! Then reality kicks in once again - I rest for about 10mins and then I get up and push-on. You know?...what most mothers do.

My strength sessions start off with a 5min warm-up on the X-trainer, then 10mins at moderate-high intensity. I then do my rehab and begin strength training after. My new program entails four simple exercises - Squats, Press, Deadlifts, Pull-ups. I then finish off with a 15min moderate intensity run, just to make sure my legs are depleted.

Seems pretty simple right? How hard can that be? Apparently it looks simple, but hugely taxing on the body. I can testify to that.

So what is my mindset? To be honest...I dread my strength sessions! You know why? IT'S FU*KIN HARD WORK!

But I also know that once I'm inside those gym walls, I'm rockin'!

I have a certain pre-training ritual. When I put on my gym gear (my super hero outfit) I'm getting ready for action. I shower, pull my hair back for training; I prep my gym bag, throw on my runners and sunnies and I head out the door. I must listen to my favourite work-out track on the way to the gym - it gets the juices flowing. When I get to the gym there are two vital things I MUST HAVE before I can begin. One is my training diary and the other is my I-Pod. Without these two things, my mojo is compromised! If I forget them, I swear and curse myself over my stupidity. Sometimes I have to go home to get them if that's what it takes.

I walk downstairs to the main training area and I do a quick sweep of the entire floor to get a feel of the mood of the place. Atmosphere for me is really important for my workouts. I thrive on that energy that everyone gives off.

I go to the toilets and get out all my stuff. The last thing I do before I head out to begin is I put on my headphones. Once I put my headphones on, I can't hear anyone or anything. I AM NOW IN THE ZONE! I don't need to know what everyone is saying - I shut out all the noise. I just feed off the energy.

When I train I don't talk to anyone. I might just smile or give a nod. I completely zone out.

Regardless of how I feel, I cannot slack off! In fact, I like to give it my all. I like to train hard. I like to do one better than I did the last training session. If I'm really fatigued or feeling flat, then the minimum I expect from myself is to maintain what I did the last session.

If I'm not in a ball of sweat - I'm not training hard. As in Pauline Nordin's photo above, you don't look pretty when you workout! That's how I like to train - hard. Hard for me anyway. Because my thinking is...it's only temporary. If I train hard and give it my all now, I can go home and relax. But out of the minutes and hours in the day, whatever it is that I'm doing, the time required isn't all that long, and then I can rest when I'm done. So I put in. I don't think of my whole workout on strength days. I just stay in the present and give my all to whatever set or reps I'm doing.

The hardest part of my strength sessions at the moment is that last run. My legs feel a little wobbly to start and I just want to go home. Sometimes I entertain the idea that I should cut down the time or the speed, but then I know I would be cheating myself. It's just a psychological thing. It's all in my head. My body can handle it quite alright, but it's just my head telling me otherwise. And like I said, I can't not do it. I must at least equal or better what I did last time. How else am I going to progress?

So regardless of where you are when it comes to fitness training, be honest with yourself. How hard are you training? Don't compare yourself with Jo Blo next to you. Compare yourself with your last effort. Always put in your best. You'll get days where you feel like shit! If that's the case, congratulate yourself for turning up. You've conquered the first major hurdle by getting your arse out the door and training. Because if you want to know how to get fitter, faster, stronger, better, all you have to do is better than you did yesterday...rinse and repeat!

2011...Our Secret Place & Connecting...

2012-01-04T06:54:00.000+10:00

"There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.

There are seven million."

~Walt Streightiff

Please mosy on over to my other blog...Recipes in Richness.

2012...You Make Me Feel So....

2011-12-28T20:37:00.000+10:00

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

― J.K.Rowling

Only 4 more days until 2012.

I can't believe how the year has gone so quickly. Reviewing my goals from 2011, I find I achieved a few and some I didn't. My goal of maintaining 57kgs (or within 1kg of) didn't go to plan, but I maintained that happy weight for 6 months of the year, so I was pretty happy with that. I intend to hit that weight in January 2012 and again, try to maintain that weight all year round.

For me, 2012 will be a year of consolidation. I won't be taking on anything new, fitness-wise. I will be focusing on strength in the first half of the year and then power.

It should filter through to my army fitness tests. I did manage to reach my goal of 40 push-ups for my BFA. I didn't make any real gains as far as my running for my BFA though, so I hope to next year . If I get the consistency, I should see a marked improvement in my running time.

My plans for 2012 are not sexy but the results should be, provided I stick to training consistently and staying on top of my nutrition.

So it's going to be a rather boring year in 2012. Nothing new really. Just hard, consistent training and nutrition throughout the year and building a strong foundation and platform to see me through 2013. I've got a couple of big things happening in my life in 2013 in the way of big changes, so I want to make next year really count.

Next year's training as well as one particular change in 2013, will lead me into what I've been working toward since my 40th birthday. It's a 5 year plan and I'm already thinking about what I want and what will take place on my 45th birthday in 2014.

I'll be keeping it under wraps though, so I'm afraid you'll have to stay guessing for awhile.

Anyway...I've noticed a change in my posts for 2011. Apart from the fact that I've hardly done much in the way of posts, I also haven't had anything really inspiring to say. I think time for talking was well and truly over, and I've just been focusing on the doing. I've also been pre-occupied on the domestic front and happy and contented getting quite involved in family and our new home, and making our home life just so peachy! I love being at home, getting more involved with Philomena's activities; cooking; cleaning; gardening; family and friends; and generally pottering around the yard. Miss Phil and I call it our 'Secret Place'. That's for another post coming soon.

Well time to say adieu! How did you go with your goals for 2011? Do you have new ones planned for 2012, and do they Make You Feel So? I hope they do, otherwise how will you see them come to fruition if your heart and soul doesn't feel them with utter conviction?

Oh...don't you just love my post pic? Now that to me depicts sheer athleticism. If I looked that good in a crop top and shorts then I'd die one happy girl. Of course, I'm happy now. However, that would be the icing on the cake of my blessed life.

I am Titanium

2011-12-18T21:01:00.002+10:00

"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"

from the lyrics, 'Titanium' by David Guetta (feat Sia)

What do you Yearn For?

2011-12-14T22:56:00.000+10:00

"When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep and dreamed of Para-para-paradise,
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes"

from 'Paradise', by Coldplay

The definition of Yearning is described as a "tender or urgent longing". We all long for certain things...love, wealth, fame, family...and the list goes on. To me, yearning describes something we strive or have striven for over an extended period of time.

Yearning is more complex than just wanting something. Wanting something seems so much more transitory. Yearning is something that we feel with such a great depth of emotion that it drives us with unimaginable energy and takes on a life of its' own. It's something we want so badly that we will overcome and endure and we accept that maybe it is something that will take a lifetime.

That something we yearn for is a something which when we awaken, we feel its' presence and it influences our lives and moulds our patterns and behaviours. What ever that something is which we yearn for, we imagine it so vividly - we can taste it...when we reach out for it, it feels so close we can touch it, and yet...it's always just beyond our reach.

Our heart aches, yet we feel hope. We feel pain, either physically or emotionally, yet we gladly take up its' mantle, in the belief that whatever that something is that we yearn for, will become our reality.

And I wonder...what do others yearn for and why?

And So It Begins...

2011-12-12T06:44:00.000+10:00

5 weeks and counting...and I'm not telling. Though it won't be hard to figure it out.

A Pick Me Up

2011-12-08T18:32:00.000+10:00

Since moving (we've been here 3 months now!) and going away for AR for a few weeks, my training and nutrition has been all over the shop. I'm also carrying about 4 extra unwanted kilos. Two weeks ago I had a chiropractic adjustment on my return from AR. I made the mistake of seeing my normal chiropractor's offsider. I won't be doing that again! He irritated my disc. It's been over 12 months since I've had any type of irritation. I, and even my chiropractor can't remember how long it had been since it was irritated. That's how much progress I'd made in the last 12-18months. So you can understand my frustration and annoyance. And for once, it wasn't self-inflicted. Up until two weeks ago, I nearly had an injury-free year.

Now, in saying that, luckily it was only a minor irritation. But that's not the point. It's set me back. Not only in my training, but it really affected my headspace. I've become quite used to basically doing anything physical without having to concern myself I would incur any injury. It's been such a liberating feeling. So it was much to my chagrin that for the first time in a long time I had lower back pain. Just bloody annoying!

Since returning from Wide Bay, I set myself up to get in consistent training and get back on top of my nutrition. So with the irritation it put a spanner in the works because I really wanted to get in some decent training before Christmas.

I've been training, but without the normal intensity I usually train with. And I had to give it a break to allow the spasm to settle down in my lower back. That has done nothing for my headspace. I made the most of a bad situation though, and used that time to put the Christmas tree up (luckily it's a small one) and spend some time decorating and cleaning (without exercerbating the back) and generally getting into the Christmas feel.

Yesterday it started raining. What a mixed up day with school swimming carnival and its' last minute cancellation, and so I ended up on the recliner watching a DVD. Something I haven't done for months. Can't even remember the last DVD I watched at home. It was actually quite nice, though I felt a bit strange sitting for so long and relaxing. But it was also dangerous, and by the end of the day my headspace was really suffering for lack of activity during a week day.

Today I woke up cranky and a little down. So unlike me.

Luckily for me, I met up with Liz for an update on my training program. It was just the pick-up I needed! Thank you Liz. :)

I knew I needed to re-focus, regain my motivation and accountability built around my training and nutrition. For me, having a coach to help me has been invaluable.

I know for some, having a PT or a coach of some sort is seen as a luxury and unnecessary, but I beg to differ. If you find the right person to help you progress, then it's money well spent. I have forgone many-a-trifling thing so that I have money to pay my coach. My health and fitness is a priority, and coaching fees I see as part of that investment in my health.

I know many people who go to the gym regularly. They all have their goals and many have niggling injuries and concerns, are trying to lose weight or just to feel and be healthier. However, there are few people who I see regularly who make any real and lasting progress.

There are some who make outstanding progress, especially when it comes to weight loss and I think that is just amazing! My hope is that they don't stop there and continue on, bettering their health and positively influencing others around them. There are a handful who I talk to, who do see professionals to help them in their health and fitness endeavours and I know and see the change it brings about in them and you know that those type of people will always find a better way of doing things - they're solution-orientated! And there are many who I know in the Bodybuilding arena, who receive regular coaching and make great progress through hard work and consistency over time. I really admire their ability to remain so focused over such a long period of time.

But the majority go to the gym day-in day-out, doing the same old thing. They may begin, make some really quick progress, but then they stall and plateau. They either continue on just doing the same thing, or many just stop training altogether because they no longer feel it challenging enough or they're not willing to take their training to the next level in order to keep progressing. And many do just go to the gym to do classes because they enjoy them and the social aspect. Each to their own. It's what makes life interesting and I think gym-watching is a most interesting pastime! :)

Very few people put much thought into their long term goals, and many people are harbouring injuries or weaknesses they're unaware of. They often don't have the education or understanding that they could in fact, become better if they had access to the right knowledge, advice and assistance. So many people flounder and lose interest and hope. And for others, the prospect of sticking at something long enough to see results is just too hard.

That's why I think that someone (and it must be the right someone) with the right knowledge can make the world of difference to making substantial improvements to your health and fitness gains. I know it has for me.

I've learnt so much from Liz and the knowledge she has imparted, and I'm always amazed at the little things that make such a difference. That even happened today. Liz gave me a couple of exercises to help alleviate some tension in my RHS glutes and LHS psoas. Really simple, yet effective exercises that not even my physio has given me to help with the tension from the disc irritation. In fact, my physio has used some of Liz's exercises in the past to give to me instead of his own, he was so impressed with how well they had worked for me.

The last 12-18 months I've made more progress than the last 3 years combined, and that's a great testament to the importance of having a great coach who is aware of your particular goals, injuries, concerns and nuances. They can individualise a plan specifically for your unique requirements. It's an organic process and you have the added benefit of someone who can help support you and your goals and give your encouragement as you evolve. Goals change...you change. It's nice to have someone who can help give you clarity to your goals through life's ups and downs, and the rollercoaster ride which is our health and fitness journey. And a coach is also someone who can make something seem possible, where before you may have thought it impossible!

So for anyone who feels they aren't where they want to be and has tried a number of things without seeing any type of improvement or results, or where progress is just so slow, I would recommend a good coach. It should be ideally, someone who is aligned with your goals and is on the same wave length. Who not only understands what you need to reach your goals, but knows how to motivate and inspire you by providing enough interest and challenge through their coaching methods!

The reason I chose Liz was mainly because of her particular expertise in Exercise Physiology, specialising in Rehab. Also, because she has a thorough knowledge of nutrition. For me, she's a 'one-stop-shop' (hope you don't mind that description Liz).

After today I'm reinvigorated, because I know Liz is going to give me a swift kick until I'm back up and gunning it. I won't need the accountability factor forever, but I just happen to need it right now until I find my mojo again. Once I'm there then just let me loose!

Today we revised my deadlift and squat and did some tweaking. With Liz's newfound knowledge I was able to squat much deeper and use my glutes more, and it felt really good. My deadlifts felt much easier as well, so it was a positive session. So for the time being and into the new year I'll be concentrating on developing strength. I'm looking forward to the change in my weights program built around lower reps with good form and technique and increasing the weight gradually as I get stronger.

I'll be reigning in the nutrition and re-focusing on ensuring I have variety in the diet, as this is a bit of weakness for me. I tend to, once I've got the recipes downpat, only use the ones that are quick and easy, limiting my palate. I then get bored because I have too few recipes and I eat the same thing day-in-day-out. I just need to take some time to plan my meals again and re-introduce some recipes from my existing collection, as well as some new recipes. And I'll be tracking my meals again just to get back on track and get me focused on my nutrition until I've got the hang of it and I'm on a roll.

It's amazing isnt' it, that just by talking to the right person how you can regain focus and motivation?!

Have a great Friday and weekend! I'm off tomorrow with AW to the Gold Coast for an overnight stay - just the two of us. We haven't had much 'us time' since my return, so this is just a quick get-away to get in before the craziness of Christmas is upon us. And then I'll be so ready to start my new program next week! Bring it on! :P

More BANG for your Buck!

2011-12-02T22:24:00.000+10:00

"Come gather 'round people

Wherever you roam

And admit that the waters

Around you have grown

And accept it that soon

You'll be drenched to the bone

If your time to you

Is worth savin'

Then you better start swimmin'

Or you'll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin'."

- Bob Dylan, 'The Times they are A-Changin''

It was back in the not-to-distant past that I swore I'd never do a cycle class. I'd been to one and that didn't really excite me much. It wasn't until I found the right instructor that I actually enjoyed it. Well...enjoyed it, as much as I wanted to throw up. :P

Now things have definitely changed, and I really love cycle/RPM classes! Not in the sense that I'm jumping for joy while I'm on the back. Quite the contrary - I still manage to find myself rather shagged by the end of the class and my lungs and legs screaming for relief!

For reasons I've just discovered, I find these classes physically gruelling. The reason being of course is that I'm always trying to improve on my efforts. Regardless of how I feel before I go into a class, I can't but not push myself to the limit. You'll know who I am. I sit at the front and within 5 mins, sweat is dripping from my body and I'm grunting and gasping for air in the bid to coax my legs to keep going.

If my instructor says increase my load - I increase my load! I know if I'm cheating myself and I just can't do that. If I'm not physically spent by the end then I haven't done my best.

I probably have improved my performance. Actually...I know I have. I've always been terrible at pace work, but I'm improved in leaps and bounds. It's still my weakest area, but it's getting better. I've also learnt to work my gears much better too. I've learnt when doing pace work not to load my gears too heavy to maintain speed, but heavy enough to have resistance.

You see, I love the hills! I love getting out of the saddle and pushing hard. So I tend to do much better on those. But I've learnt to enjoy pace work now because I'm getting better.

When my HRM was working (battery is flat), I found that cycling/RPM burned more calories (apart from x-trainer) that any other exercise in the gym within the same period of time. I love cycling because I get more bang for my buck!

But there's just one problem. I get so frickin' sore (down below) that I need at least a few days in-between to recover, which is really annoying (and off-limits for poor hubby, but you know - you've got to get your priorities right, and exercise comes first). I bought a gel seat and I've adjusted the seat height to try and compensate, it doesn't work. I have to get out of the saddle during recovery just to alleviate the discomfort. Pace work is the most excrutiating by the end of the session as I have to move forward in the saddle, both my backside and also forward on my handle bars.

Is there is anyone who can suggest a way to alleviate this????

Oh...BTW...that initial instructor hasnt' been around for about 3 months, and even though I loved his classes and they still don't have regular cycle/RPM instructors which I find annoying, I've realised that's it's been a good thing.

Why? Having instructors constantly changing has meant that no two classes are the same. It means my body is constantly having to adapt to different styles. I didn't think cycle/RPM classes could differ so much. But they do. And it's good, because it keeps me challenged and keeps me from getting comfortable with the same routine.

Alot of Time for Reflecting

2011-11-27T17:55:00.000+10:00

"A string of excited, fugitive, miscellaneous pleasures is not happiness; happiness resides in imaginative reflection and judgment, when the picture of one's life, or of human life, as it truly has been or is, satisfies the will, and is gladly accepted."

- George Santayana

Wow...the last 3 weeks went by faster than I thought. Though, while out field it seemed to go on forever. As you may or may not be aware, I was away with the AA up at Tin Can Bay. I don't often write about my thoughts or feelings regarding my service, because some things aren't meant to be so public. It's not something I see necessary to discuss and share in public, especially on the net.

However, in this instance, I feel that the need to share. It's mostly about what I observed in relation to fellow soldiers, mainly full-time (regulars). Not so much their true personal thoughts and feelings, but more so what I observed in the way that people of different generations come together and connect (or not) as a group.

Basically, the exercise I attended was a Mission Readiness Exercise, devised to help prepare the next regiment of infantry men due to head over to Afghanistan. It's their last opportunity to prepare before being deployed.

I found myself amongst mostly that of Generation-Y and I kid you not...I look at our future and am so very disheartened. I know it's not right to tar this entire generation with the same brush, but I found the majority of the Gen-Y'ers, self-absorbed, cynical, self-righteous, addicted to technology and lacking an awareness and lacking deep empathy for their fellow human beings. I don't blame people for calling them Generation-ME.

They lack the ability to really connect. Not just with people of other generations apart from their own, but also with their present surroundings. I also found many lacking personal integrity and respect. I really hate to admit this, but I worry about what the future AA will look like in some respects.

On later reflection, I came to the conclusion that maybe it isn't all Gen'Y'ers. On deeper and more critical reflection, it isn't necessarily about age but possibly about the group of people and their level of education and experience in the world and their narrow sphere of influence.

Army culture is not like the real world. In alot of ways, it cushions young people from the intracacies of 'civvy street' (Civvy is what we call a person who is not in the army). I personally think that school leavers should not enter the defence force until such time that they've had 'real world' experience and are more aware of its' complexities, are more compassionate towards those who don't have their physical prowess or opportunities, and less enured due to their occupational circumstances.

But regardless of this, I found their unwillingness to enter into any real type of social intercourse with those outside their own age group and interests, quite confounding. One word which I think describes them is indifferent.

Now when I said 'majority', this observation does and did not apply to all. I have often found in my short time in the AA that people are as varied as those on civvy street. An officer once said to me that the AA is 'microcosm of society'. And while on exercise, I did come across a small number of truly genuine, compassionate, intelligent, and respectful young people. Disappointingly, they were a minority.

I've found that there are many people within the AA who are in fact dedicated, self-respecting as well as having the utmost respect for others, who have a high degree of personal and professional integrity. Luckily for us (Australia) hey?

Anyway...enough about that. That was only one experience and with due respect, this is the first time I've come this dilemma.

The photo above is me in a tent in a 'village'. It was extremely hot (we only got to shower every 3 days while out in the village) and when we weren't involved in an activity, we were confined to our tents. The place is also a haven for midgees and horseflies. Luckily they don't find me as tasty as some other people. And we had one baby brown snake in our tent, which luckily slithered away without too much fuss, and I never saw it again.

We were fortunate upon first arriving at camp that we had time to visit Rainbow Beach and I now have started on my summer tan. :P The beach and water were spectacular and I made the most of that time. It's unusual to have this type of recreational time.

Rainbow Beach

I also got in a lot of reading while holed up in our tents. I think I read six books over the three weeks, and I took some other books and starting drawing up a plan for our house to extend and started on the garden design. I've also worked out which veges to plant, so my next task is to build the raised vege garden. Hopefully I can get that done this week. With only 4 weeks til Christmas, I'm finding that there is so much to catch up on (like housework...yard work, mail, etc).

Me with 'the little people'. Josh, Tim, Scott and his daughter Hannah

I did find alot of aspects of the exercise interesting, and met some interesting people in the process. Like 'the little people' above who were employed by the AA to play the role of children. Yes...that's me in a burka, but I haven't got my full face cloth on, where you can only see my eyes when worn. The little people I found refreshingly open, warm and friendly and more accepting than people of normal height. I also found their enthusiasm for life with all its' challenges that dwarfs find in normal society, a lesson for us. They never complained and saw every setback as an experience to gain from and to laugh at. Consequently, they are also paid very well (as actors), thank you very much. They earn more money on a daily basis that we do. Incidently, they prefer not to be called 'midgets', but moreso the correct term of 'dwarf' or 'little people' they are quite happy with.

The coastal region of Tin Can Bay is quite 'scrubby' and I was amazed at the native flora growing abundantly...Acacias, Grevilleas and the like. Beautiful wildflowers everywhere. The scrub was also full of the most amazing Ghost Gums. In the first week I was greeted with spectacular full-moon nights and the night sky was brimming with sparkling stars. It's something you don't often see in the city and suburbs.

And I have to mention meeting John, the donkey man. He owns a couple of donkeys which were used during the exercise. The donkeys were called 'Kath and Kim' in our village, and evidently were a mother and daughter team. They wouldn't go anywhere alone. John was another interesting person I met who had done alot of travelling in his time. He was an outback tour guide at some stage and has done alot of trekking and outdoor and adventure travel and guiding. Originally from the UK, he has called Australia home for a large part of his adult life. We talked alot about life, about people (and the Gen-Y'ers), his experiences and his current goals. He's in his 4th relationship, has two teenage daughters and intends to make this one work. He was reading some books on relationships and showed me, purposely hiding them in the event that the young army men might see them and think him quite gone soft. I remarked that I wouldn't be too concerned about these young men, as they're not known for being in touch with their feminine side and would be too immature to appreciate what time has had the fortune of bestowing upon those of us who have been on this earth twice as long. He also shared a personal insight about donkeys...apparently they are very wise creatures and admitted that sometimes he prefers their company to the human kind!

More reflections...one thing I always gain from being away from home and loved ones is how much I love my life and how much I treasure my family and friends at home and how peaceful and tranquil my family life is.

My life, to those young people would be considered quite boring and talk of family, home, kids was lost on most of them who were single and still in the 'partying' stage of their lives.

Looking back, of course when I was single I did enjoy going out, but the partying and drinking part didn't last long for me. My training was still numero uno back in my teens and early 20's. And at 21 I started my first business (martial arts/coaching) so partying was far from my mind. I had more productive pursuits to think about. I was also in my first serious relationship with a man 18 years my senior and had two school age children to care for in addition to that.

So...reflecting, I found how content I am now still, especially now we're in our new home which will most definitely be our last (unless we win the lotto - though I admit, I don't think I would move, I'd just have the money to make it exactly into what I want). With plans for the vegie garden and waiting for our bantam chooks to arrive three days before Christmas; having family over on Christmas Eve, including Philomena's little cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents, what could be more satisfying than spending time with loved ones.

I love this time of the year, and the lead up to Christmas is always so special...putting up our Christmas Tree and Philomena helping decorate it...playing our Christmas CD's of which our favourites are The Nutcracker and Handel's Messiah. Planning the food and decorating our home as well as bringing out the special Christmas dining decor and linen. Bringing out our Advent wreath and candles and lighting one for each week preceding Christmas, saying a prayer and thanking God for all our gifts and blessings and counting down the days til Christmas. Visiting all the wonderful Christmas Lights. All these little things together make Christmas so special.

Pauline Nordin

And last, but definitely not least, I had time to reflect on my training and how my year went. For me, I came to the realisation that I was able to maintain my happy weight of 57kg's for at least 6 months of the year. That went askew when we bought our house and I didn't train for six weeks. And then of course, I went on exercise not long after. So the last few months have not been ideal, and I'm carrying that little bit of extra weight again. MInd you, I'm very determined to be back to 57kg's by Christmas. I've already shed 1kg since my return late Wednesday.

So, in coming to this realisation I was happy with this, and my goal is to maintain a steady 57kg's all year round! That's my ultimate goal...lean for life!

Upon reflection, I think that this year I've made huge gains in relation to my overall strength and fitness. You may not remember, but one of my goals was to be able train 'without injury', and this year marked the first year that I have had no major hindering injuries. Apart from a niggle I sustained when first learning deadlifting and apart from little annoying tensions, I am happy to say that I have had a year without injury!

My core is getting stronger and back pain is now pretty much non-existent. I was able to partake in army PT without concern of further injury and was able to play team sports like soccer, etc without worrying about my hips. I've been running without any hip soreness and have been pain-free in my hips for the entire year!

I have to give credit where credit is due, and I have been able to achieve this with the help of Liz. I'm looking forward to catching up with Liz again soon to formulate some new training plans and schedules and I'm really excited about 2012 in relation to my health and fitness journey.

I'm getting better at this. I'm still finding times when I slip, but they're happening less often and they don't last as long.

So I leave you with a photo Hannah posted on FB recently. I love it! Sometimes I wonder whether secretly my (physical) goals are unattainable, and whether I'm kidding myself. But I've seen some amazing achievements and I've seen some equally amazing physical changes for those who were determined enough. I'll except nothing less than my best. The enjoyment is in the future possibilities and in what I've achieved so far. Still so far away from my ultimate look and physical level of fitness and I know my age hinders my progression, but that doesn't mean it has to stop me trying.

Here's Arnie's rules:

Trust yourself.
Dig deep down and ask who you want to be.
Don't be afraid to fail!
Don't listen to the Naysayers!
Work your Ass off.

Okay...time to work my arse off!

Nothing Profound to Say...

2011-10-30T17:13:00.001+10:00

"Excellence is Not a Skill - it's an Attitude"

- source unknown

It's the end of October already. My last post was at the start of October, and still I don't have alot to share with you. It's not that there hasn't been anything happening much in my life. Quite the contrary. There is alot happening as per usual. However I seemed to have lost interest in sharing my life via blogland. I'm thinking it might be a phase I'm going through.

I've discovered that I get alot more done in my life when I'm not blogging or continually on facebook. I haven't been reading any blogs (my apologies if that offends you), and it's not that I'm not interested in anyone's life, it's just that I have so much going on. And since moving into our new home, life is more labour intensive...bigger home, bigger yard, husband away alot - therefore more things to do with the same amount of time.

But you know, I'm quite enjoying it. I'm achieving so much more. I'm a person of action, and this allows me to 'act' rather than live precariously through other people's lives. Not that, that is what I do. But sometimes you can get so caught up in reading about other people's lives that you fail to live your own life.

I haven't much to say about my current fitness goals really. Suffice to say that I'm back on track and 100% on plan for nutrition (apart from the weekend) and finally starting to see the scales move down. Though it's been a struggle internally to make that decision. I have about 3kgs to go still before I'm back to lean, but I'm happy right now in my life and more accepting of ups and downs.

I'm here for another week, and I'll be off for 3 weeks for the AR and I'll be back end of November. I'm looking forward to it, though I hear that where I'm heading, there is no formal gym or PT sessions. Just a running track. So I will have to get creative and apart from running will have to put together some bodyweight exercises to keep me challenged. And I should have enough free time to be able to train daily (fingers crossed). So my goal is to come back 3kg's lighter. :) Here's hoping.

Anyway...I thought I'd include a photo of Pauline Nordin just for the heck of it, and I like the quote. I think it says alot.

I believe that excellence isn't something we need to necessarily shoot off at the mouth about. It doesn't have to be glamourous or exciting. It's something we should be living on a daily basis.

So that's a wrap up, and I'll hopefully post upon my return. Though it's getting close to Christmas then...e-gads! A lovely time of the year. So many things to do upon my return, and you know the most exciting part of my life right now? I can't wait to build my compost bays, raised vege garden and I'm hoping we may have a couple of (bantam) chickens at Christmas (for Philomena). Oh...and start the my native cottage garden design (waiting on my book to arrive). Of course, when I get back. Oh..and I also look forward to setting some new training goals. So much to do...so little time!

What Gardening and Your Health Goals Have in Common

2011-10-06T17:23:00.000+10:00

Australian Native Cottage Garden

Would you believe that we have been in our new house for one month already! We have settled in nicely, though it will take some months to unpack everything and put things in their rightful place. I'm really enjoying the solitude and tranquility, and today even though it's drizzling rain, it's beautiful as I sit here at the kitchen table looking out to our private rainforest.

Something I'm really enjoying is weeding. Yes...weeding. Try it...it's very therapeutic!

There are alot of weeds here, and before I can even begin to design my Australian Native cottage garden, I need to eradicate all the weeds. We basically have no grass...it's mostly weeds. So it's quite a labourious job killing off weeds and then replacing them with grass. It's not something that happens quickly. Not only is the lawn full of weeds, but the garden bed at the front is full of them as well. Though, I've made some headway into the weeding there.

In the garden bed, only pulling out weeds by hand is suitable. And you have to make sure that when you pull them out, you get the roots and all, otherwise they will just grow back. I use a little spade to help me get in under the roots in the soil a little, and then I give a nice little tug on the weed, as close to bottom of the plant as possible.

I think I'm developing some little OCD tendencies built around keeping the house clean and...weeding! I just can't stop once I start. I like to see them disappear and see nice clean soil before me.

Anyway...so what does gardening and your health goals have in common?

While I was tinkering away pulling out weeds, I was thinking about how my garden would look once it was all designed, planted and growing. I have visions of how I want my garden to look. It's what inspires me to keep weeding. It's the end that I have in mind, and that's what keeps me going and doing what needs to be done in the garden and around the yard.

I was wondering how anybody could let the weeds get this bad and let the yard look so unkept. Didn't they see the garden as it could be? Could they not imagine how spectacular a garden could be created here and what veritable treasures await?

My favourite deep red Geranium

Lovely lavender pansies

My Pierre De Ronsarde climbing roses never disappoint

Could they not see the potential.? And did they not see what treasures could be revealed with a little imagination and a little effort?

So while I was contemplating upon this while weeding, I came to the realisation that our journey of health and fitness is alot like gardening.

Before you can really take that first step of creating a healthier and fitter you, you must first imagine the end result of YOU in your head. So you need to look at your journey as a landscape (being you) design project. I think to get real and lasting results, you need to have a vision of how you want to be.

So what potential lies before and in you? What can you see and create? You too are like a garden and you have many treasures to uncover. What spectacular visions can you see of the project (you) which you are about to begin creating?

With that in mind, the first step in designing (you) once you have that vision, is write down all the steps required to achieve that vision to begin your project (you). You should research all the information you need so that you know that you have the correct information at hand to achieve what you want and what is right for you. That information can come from many different sources...books, internet, professionals, friends who have achieved what you aim for and can help with support and encouragement,etc. You get the picture.

Next are all the tools required. They could include gym membership; maybe some home equipment; the right food, so you can make good food choices, etc, etc.

Now...once you start your little project, you might find that some things don't go exactly according to your original design plan, so you might have to do some tweaking along the way. But once you've started and you're on your way you'll gather some momentum. You'll see the fruits of your labour starting to blossom and the first signs of change and growth in your garden (you). Hopefully, this will inspire you to keep moving toward achieving your project (you).

As we all know, some of the best laid plans can come unstuck. Sometimes it's through our own neglect; sometimes it's because something happens and it's beyond your control, and all of a sudden your project has taken a back seat in the priority stakes for what ever reason.

And this is the most vulnerable and dangerous time. This is when you need to be vigilant. This is the time when those weeds begin to appear. Those weeds can take the form of slipping into bad habits, making wrong food choices or not going to the gym, and many more. Some weeds are worse than others and if you're not careful, those weeds can then begin to proliferate and take over, threatening the realisation of your project (you).

But take heart, because if you still have that vision of your design project (you) in your head and it's a strong vision, then it will haunt you. Better still to have your design project in front of you where you can see it and you're constantly reminded of its' presence. Because if you can do this, whatever little events or diversions which take you off-course temporarily, you will come back to your project, and do some necessary weeding and clearing of your garden (you). You can then begin again to see with clarity, the vision of your design project (you).

So...do you need to do some weeding? Try it...it's very therapeutic and you'll feel so much better once you've done a little.

I've been doing a little lately and I intend to get it under control very soon with a whole lot more. , And you know, just with a little weeding so far, I'm already feeling a whole lot better.

Have you Worn Your Superhero Costume Lately?

2011-09-23T21:53:00.002+10:00

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

- Johan Wolfgang von Goethe

Do you have a picture or an idea of what or who you would like to become or be? A goal perhaps of something or someone you strive to emulate? Or perhaps it's not so much that you want to be someone. Maybe it's a level of achievement you would like to attain or reach.

I liken the striving to donning on my superhero costume. It is perhaps my alias...my secret identity...my alter ego.

It's the ideal of the person you hope to become. When you change into that costume, or you acquire a certain item that perhaps that person...that role...that achievement... would have, you become that person. You imagine how you would feel...act...look in that costume or with that item.

Your actions from then are always moving toward achieving that end. Some may call it 'faking it til you make it'. And you're faking it because in reality, you aren't quite (well...maybe you're not even close) living up to those superhero expectations.

Well I'm here to tell you it's okay if you're faking it, and you're not even close to making it.
The most important thing is...you've made a start and you're putting in the action and you're striving to better yourself...your circumstances...your outcomes.

When you set yourself a seemingly formidable goal, it seems when starting out that you may never get there. It seems so difficult and you wonder whether you're kidding yourself that you'll ever reach it. Especially when you've begun the journey and it's harder than what you envisaged. It seems that you may never be worthy or ready to pull on that superhero costume you bought and it hangs in the wardrobe beckoning you to put it on - even if only fleetingly.

But I encourage you...I dare you to put it on! Because unless you do, how do you know what you require of yourself and how do you know what real stuff you're made of if you never put it on?

And in the striving, as you reach each step and climb higher and closer toward your goal, there will be one day when you realise you're wearing that costume and it fits like a glove and you wonder what all the fuss was about, because now it's just a part of you.

But in order to realise that day, you had to persevere feeling like you were faking it, and overcome the fear of what others thought of you. And you know...people will always remember who you are right now, not who you were necessarily.

And anyway, what does it matter how others see you right now? Is it not more important how you would see yourself? Because you know that with time...with right action...one day and the next, others will see you, how you would see yourself.

And who knows...you may then become their real life hero, because you dared to dream... you dared to try...you dared to put on your super hero costume and you showed others what is possible.

New Home...New Insights

2011-09-21T16:08:00.002+10:00

View from top of driveway

Our private rainforest

The view and setting at the rear of our home. My favourite place.

Philomena's new (2nd hand) trampoline, given to us through our wonderful friend, Matt

Rainbow Lorikeet eating nectar from one of our grevilleas

More forest pictures

I can't believe it's been about 7 weeks since I've posted. I'm sitting out the back patio (see photo of my favourite place) as I write this post. It's my favourite place to sit and contemplate and listen to the birds and the breeze rustling through the trees. We have a resident Whipbird, which I'm thrilled at having in our back yard to listen to every day. Philomena has named it 'Whippy' and we've been having breakfast every morning out the back patio, listening to the birds. I've also spotted Pale Headed Rosellas and I love watching the rainbow lorikeets and honey-eaters. This morning I could hear kookaburras, and there are some other bird varieties I haven't worked out yet by their call.

So this is why I've been absent for such a long time it seems. I've also had no end of problems with having our phone and internet reconnected, and my old tower desktop computer finally died. It's only hanging on long enough now for me to transfer all my files across to this new laptop. I love wireless connection! I no longer have to sit facing four walls. I can sit amongst the trees and birds.

As you can see, our home isn't 'brand new' as such, but a new location. I really love our new home. I now have just about everything I've wanted (except that million-dollar view overlooking Mt Tamborine). When I saw this house, it was love at first sight. Of course, if we had a million dollars, I'm sure we would have bought a newer home, but for what we paid, I think we did exceptionally well. And for what it's worth, it's still a stretch financially...more about this in a minute.

Our friends were rather surprised to find out we bought a new home, as we never talked about it. In fact, the decision to buy came up in conversation with AW about how it was a great time to buy, but not a great time to sell. The conversation we had was oh...about 8 weeks ago. I went away and crunched some figures, and said to AW...yes, we can afford it, but it means going back to being frugal again, to which we decided would be okay. We'd done it before, we could do it again, if it meant getting into a house with a yard and more space for all of us.

The journey since that decision, I have to tell you has been incredible, challenging, frustrating to the point of going insane. At quite a few points, it seemed that our dream of getting into a house was within our reach, only to be pulled from our grasp. It has been an emotional rollercoaster from day one, and I was quite unprepared for the current economic climate in which we applied for finance. It's a climate I have never experienced, and I had very little sleep for 5 weeks straight.

We've purchased homes before, but this one was different for a number of reasons. Mainly because of my emotional attachment. In previous times we always had our loans pre-approved, but this time we needed to secure the contract, because it was such a great buy and I knew that it would go pretty quickly.

So why did I invest so much emotionally?

It was always about my dream of having a home where Philomena could play outside unfettered. I wanted her outside exploring, not inside watching TV. I wanted us as a family to be outside, and more connected with nature and fresh air, and more outside activity.

It was about us as individuals having more personal space and more room to have privacy and relax.

It was about us as a family, doing more things which were based around home and family. Having family and friends around more often and reconnecting with people.

It was about the chooks; having a vegetable garden and making my own compost; creating a beautiful garden full of colour and scents and one which everyone can enjoy. Creating spaces in the garden to sit and contemplate and to enjoy this beautiful forest outlook we have here, which not alot of people even know exists.

It was about Philomena having pets and a dog, because I want her to have that special relationship that I had the privilege of having as a child with my dog and pets. Having pets is a great lesson for children in responsibility and caring for something which is helpless and requires love and committment. Pets, especially dogs are also great companions for children (and adults).

It was about Philomena having a play/cubby house and areas of play to help develop her strong imagination and creativity.

It was about having a blank canvas on which to create our dream home. And boy, do we have lots of plans. It's 1/4 acre, so there's lots of room and we plan to extend onto the home. We plan to build in the carport for extra room, and expand the kitchen/dining area. We also plan to build a deck out the back to enjoy the view and create more outdoor living space to overlook the kids play area. Of course, this won't happen straight away. We're pretty skint at the moment.

The greatest part of all of this, is that we have only moved 3kms! We're still in Beenleigh, though you wouldn't think so. It's so close. Philomena and I call it our 'Secret Place'. You can't see our home from the road. All you can see is a letterbox, a driveway, and a gate, in-between two other houses from the road.

So was all the emotional turmoil worth it? You betcha!

AW was away alot during this whole time, so there was only little old me to deal with just about everything single-handedly. Thankfully, Anthony recruited family and friends to help on moving day. And thanks to my sister, Carol for helping me clean our other place. I don't think I would have got it all done without her! And Matt, if you're reading this...you're amazing! And you have been and still, are one of our most cherished and generous friends We would have been in a real pickle without your help on moving day. You ROCK!

So there you have it. I hadn't trained for 6 weeks! This is the longest break from training ever since starting my fitness journey with IBO back in July 2008. I put on 4kgs! I was very stressed, but I returned to training sought of last week, and more earnestly this week. It will probably be at least 2 weeks before being able to resume my training at the same volume and intensity I was at before the six weeks.

I'm amazed at how much tone I've lost in that period. My body has definitely suffered and I'm feeling quite horrible at the moment and out of sorts again. But I know it's only temporary.

I put out a HELP signal to Liz to help me get focussed and get some accountability so I can get back on track quickly. I'm confident this can happen and I can feel more myself again.

So...new insights...

...life happens, and you just gotta pick up where you left off.
...some things can't be helped, but know that it's only temporary, and you're only about 30 days from seeing real change.
...I don't suffer fools gladly.
...I'm getting grumpier as I get older.
...I don't like the fact that some things are out of my control.
...someone above is looking out for us, and I am eternally grateful.
...some times life is tough, but you'll always get through it and move on, so don't be afraid to try!
...it's amazing what you'll go through when your dream is strong enough!

So now I can re-focus on my fitness again. It feels good to be sore, but gosh...at the moment I feel like a beginner. I feel so unfit. But I know it's only temporary!

I have made a conscious decison not to be on the internet so much. I got so much done while away, and to be honest, I want to spend more time with my family in our new home and on our new home, creating the pictures I have in my head.

Because you know. That's what drives me. And I know that for most of you, that's what drives you too. You have that picture or pictures in your head of what your ideal life is - your ideal you, and you spend your time bringing your current reality to match your current ideal. That's what makes life so amazing. That we can create what we imagine, and it's in the 'creating' that we derive so much joy and satisfaction.

So I will leave you with a wonderful saying I read off the sign out front of the Beenleigh Lutheran Church...

"Be content with what you have...but not with who you are."

* P.S. Let me know please if some of the photos look a bit squashed. It could just be my new computer. Just double-click on the photo and it should be a normal size.

Closed Until Further Notice

2011-07-31T21:51:00.000+10:00

I'll be back...ciao for now!

Delayed Gratification

2011-07-18T19:37:00.001+10:00

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."

- Maxwell Maltz

It's interesting to note the thoughts that run through your head when you're working out in the gym. I find time in the gym is when I seem to work through stuff, and it's usually in-between sets. I think exercise gives us the opportunity to tap into our bodies and gives us the ability to be introspective during such times of physical exertion and awareness. Not just on a physical level, but also emotionally and mentally.

I think that's a big reason why I love training, and I've missed it big time being away for nearly two weeks. I've been climbing the walls. I can't remember the last time I was away that long. This chest infection really hit me for six, and I still have an annoying cough that continues to persist in the evenings, during the night and early mornings.

Today was my first day back and I started with a cycle class. I was feeling quite green to be honest, and what I would normally find easy was a bit of a struggle. It was mainly the seedy feeling and my legs tired more quickly than normal, but I made sure that I finished and pushed myself when I could. However, my weight session went well afterwards, and I started where I was the last session, and gauged how far to push myself. I was happy with the outcome, completing everything and afterwards was rewarded with that wonderful feeling of energy and vitality that comes with a good training session! Oh how I missed you Go Health (and I've never said that before)!

Tomorrow it's my early morning RPM class, which I've decided to do as a regular thing. I realised that that this week I'll end up doing four cycle classes. Hah! Who would of thought? But I'm really enjoying them. And it's one of the best classes where you really get more bang for your buck as far as a cardio workout. It's helping me get these legs stronger where I need to...in my quads.

Anyway...delayed gratification. Well you can see the photo. It's a typical before and after transformation shot. Typical in the way it's orchestrated. That is...what someone looked like before and then what they looked like after some transformation program. I don't know who this person is. But I just love how athletic she looks!

That's what amazes me about body transformations. You never know what's possible. It always excites me to think that you can take your body from where it is right now to something which initially can seem impossible. I think that's why the term 'body sculpting' is called that.

It's like a sculptor starting off with a piece of clay that has no real definition. He has a vision of what he wants that clay to look like and begins to mould it. Once it's close to it's final shape, he can then begin to chip away, being more precise and giving definition to accentuate the areas which he wants to. And so it is with our bodies. We are the sculptors and the tools we use are not only the genre of exercise and training we choose, but also the food and nourishment we give it, and the volume and intensity of our training. And lastly...the longer we chip away...the degree of precision of our work, the more which is revealed to show the masterpiece which is our artistic form.

Looking back at my photos I had done in January 2009, it's hard to believe I was 54.75kg's on the day of those photos, with depletion. Hard to believe, because at 57kg's, two years on, I actually look leaner, without any type of depletion. That excites me, because what it tells me is that over time, my body can and will change if I persist.

And that's what delayed gratification is. It's holding a vision of what's possible and what you want to achieve and then doing what's necessary, even though at times it seems hard. You want that thing, whatever it is, right now! Once you make that decision you want to be healthier, stronger, fitter, leaner, more financially well off, etc, etc, you want all the things in the universe to give it to you now!

Let's face it...the thought of not getting what you want right this moment and knowing you have to put in, be patient and trust that it will happen with the appropriate amount of action, before it actually becomes reality, is one of the toughest tests we have to go through.

It's a test of our willingness and determination to see things through. It's a test of our patience. And most of all it's a test of how strong is the vision of what we want to achieve.

This blog is mainly about matters related to health and fitness, but this pertains to any worthwhile endeavour, and it was actually another area of my life where I've been practicing delayed gratification and I've reaped the rewards, that got me thinking of the post title today.

I'm sure we've all practiced it (delayed gratifcation), and what I find is that the pain of the delay is all but forgotten when you experience success. All you have to do is rinse and repeat.

Bringing Dreams into Reality...

2011-07-13T17:53:00.001+10:00

“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”

- Robert F. Bennett

Thanks to Katherine for the inspiration for today's post, titled 'Life is the Sum of all of our Choices'.

I really love the quote above by Robert Bennett, but I think it lacks something obvious that Katherine alludes to in her post. And that is...even though we makes choices consciously or unconsciously, it's when we exercise those choices, that it is when truly influence the outcome of lives.

something of the feel of my dream home

If you don't know by now, you may have guessed I'm somewhat of a dreamer. I have been for all my life. My dreams and visions of what I want to create fuel my desire and my zest for life. I only wish there was more time to do everything I would like in this life time. There is so much to learn and so much to create still, in the way of experiences.

photo courtesy of 1000 Homes of Happiness

As I get older, life is becoming more about the experiential and less about materialistic pursuits. It's about cramming in as much of life as possible, yet living it with a sense of balance, authenticity and gratitude. I want to soak up every miniscule moment of the gift of life and part of that is sharing it with those we love.

creating and experiencing wonderfully enriching moments with my children and family are a part of my dreams of a life fulfilled

Yet, even though I've always been a big dreamer, I'm grateful for the gift of action.

You see...it's all well and good to think about all the choices that are on offer. But we can delude ourselves into thinking that just by pondering over and filling our head with all the available choices and talking about what we want to do, equates to getting things done.

Bodily aspirations - part of the motivation to exercise and make good nutritional choices on a consistent basis

It's when, after making good choices, we then exercise those choices, by putting them into action and seeing them come to fruition. Only then, can our dreams become a reality.

So are you making good choices and exercising them...now? Not tomorrow, not next week, but right now. Because the choices you exercise today will determine whether your dreams become reality.

And in finishing, I must share with you something integral in going for your dreams. It's a great quote by Commando Steve on his FB page today. You know when you've made good choices, by the person you've become along the way.

"The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it."

- John Ruskin

Square Your Shit Away...

2011-07-11T15:18:00.002+10:00

"Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."

~ Frederick Buechner

Thanks to Crystal for this photo

Do you get days where life is just so full of promise and you're feeling heady just thinking about all the wonderful plans you have in your life right now? And that life becomes a little overwhelming?

Sometimes the action part of your life gets so frenetic that you want to put the brakes on, just so you can get your head around the momentum you've created and actually enjoy the results of it. Can anyone relate?

It only becomes a problem when the action you're creating is stuff that isn't necessarily getting you any closer to anything. In fact...you could say that the action you're indulging in, isn't getting you immediate results. But you could still count it as a necessary evil.

In the 'living' and 'action' realm of your life, there's always going to be some roadside carnage, and for me it usually affects my domestic roles, or anything else that isn't health and fitness related.

I've been living in that realm for...oh...about two weeks now...since the start of the school holidays. It's been nice having a change to my usual routine of school drop-off-gym-school pick-up. But as much as I've enjoyed the change where routine has gone out the window and I've got to spend some nice 'girly' time with Miss Phil, plus a seemingly endless list of birthday parties and socialising, I've reached the end of my tolerance for non-routine.

I haven't seen inside the gym for a whole week (have been sick) and it's time to get everything back into some time of order. It's time to resume my ordered way of life, and I am sooooo keen to get back to 'school drop off - gym - school pick-up' routine.

There's some unfinished business (tax...domestic duties...gardening) too, that needs to get sorted this week, so that once the action phase starts again, I'm not weighed down thinking about superflous stuff that just interferes with my training goals. It's so easy to get caught up in that, and in the long run doesn't get you any closer to your goals and can sabotage any type of consistency.

Next year for me is going to be a very big year and I'm going to have to be really super-organised and economical in the way I do life. I'll be embarking on full-time study and some other plans in the pipeline, so the way I train will have to change if I want to maintain the gains I've made, but still move towards making progress. I know it's possible. But I will need a different mindset to accomplish this.

So for the remainder of this year I will be concencentrating on deleting the superfluous from my life (that I haven't already jetisoned) and fine-tuning in the areas of training, nutrition and generally getting my home life in order. It's only 5 months until the end of the year, so I want to squeeze in as much training as I can so I can see some real change in my body, before I embark upon life changes in 2012.

Also, I have a feeling, based on the weather we've had, that this summer will be an awesome one! And I want to be ready to hit the beach on a regular basis and make the most of what would have to be my favourite part of the year...sun, surf, sand, and fresh air! Summer of 2011 - here I come!

Who You Are is Who You Choose to Be...

2011-07-05T16:40:00.000+10:00

"Your story may not have such a happy beginning, but that doesn't make you who you are. It is the rest of your story, who you choose to be. So, who are you, panda?"

— Soothsayer to Po, Kung Fu Panda 2

Today has been an emotional day. Actually, I've been emotional since about Thursday last week. Thankfully, emotional nowadays no longer equates to emotional eating, as it may have in the past. I think I've reached a certain milestone in that department.

You see...today I took Miss Philomena to the movies, and we saw Kung Fu Panda 2. Wow! I didn't realise how much it would affect me. I was sitting through it thinking..."you've got to be kidding me. This story is about me (sought of)."

To get to the jist of it, Po finds himself asking the very same question that I'm sure we all ask ourselves at some stage in our lives..."Who Am I?"

Though with Po, he was adopted (by a goose) and part of his journey in Kung Fu Panda 2 is about searching for the truth of who he really is, and where he came from.

I won't tell you what happens because that would spoil it for those of you who haven't yet seen the movie. I would recommend seeing it.

For those who don't know, I was adopted at birth in PNG and moved to Australia when I was 4 years old. Since Thursday, the literal can of worms has opened up once again for me, in my search to find my biological father and birth mother.
I would like to know where my birth mother came from so that I know my ancestry and be able to tell Philomena about her ancestry in due time. All I know is that my mother was from the PNG highlands. Where abouts in the highlands I have no idea.

Miss Phil and I visited the Qld Museum on Thursday and the theme centres around 'Torres Strait Island'. Now, I'm not from there, but I began to explain to Miss Phil where I come from, and where she is in relation to PNG, geographically (they have painted an entire wall with a map of PNG, Torres Strait and Qld). It was then that I opened the proverbial can of worms and tried to explain to her that I was adopted. I think it may have been too soon, and even though for Miss Phil it may be a bit confusing, I'm sure she's forgotten about it. However, for me, I've lost sleep. I don't think this issue will be put to rest until I find out where I am from...really.

The story surrounding my adoption and subsequent move to Australia feels so surreal. I found out I was adopted at the age of 21. I won't get into the details, suffice to say that if I was not adopted, and had my adoptive parents not sold up everything they had, and moved to Australia to keep me safe, I would have been married off at 10yrs of age, and would by now no doubt have umpteen children and goodness knows how many grandchildren. So strong are the blood ties of the tribes of the highlands. I would probably be illiterate and probably quite happy in my ignorance of the only life I would have known.

Thankfully, this was not meant to be, and I am forever grateful for such a twist in fate - that two people cared enough about me to make such a sacrifice. It is only now that I am coming to grips with the enormity of it, as it's only now that they are revealing more of the circumstances behind my adoption (sis, if you're reading this, please don't show this to mum and dad).

I have said this in the past, that I've never felt I've belonged. Not in this country, and I wouldn't belong in PNG, so far removed am I from it's history and culture. But I now know that is not true (that I don't belong). I've been of the belief that if I found out where I was really from, that somehow I would feel like a finally belong, but in fact, I think it would make more obvious the differences.

It's also recently that I have also said that this is the best time of my life. I finally feel content and happy. I finally felt comfortable with being me. Well I thought I did up until recently.

So...during Kung Fu Panda 2 I actually experienced a few 'AHA' moments. An epiphany if you will.

It was the quote at the top of this post that really hit home for me. Who I am is who I choose to be. My story may not have a happy beginning, but that doesn't make me who I am. It is the rest of my story...the one I am creating and living right now, who I choose to be. And regardless of what ever comes of this search for my ancestry, it doesn't change who I am. I know who I am. I'm proud of who I am and I still think this is the best time of my life. I am happy with my life and who I have become, and I am excited about the person I will become in the future.

The Law of Exposure...

2011-07-04T14:57:00.000+10:00

couch potato cat

“The idea that addiction is somehow a psychological illness is, I think, totally ridiculous. It's as psychological as malaria. It's a matter of exposure. People, generally speaking, will take any intoxicant or any drug that gives them a pleasant effect if it is available to them.”

- William S. Burroughs

I don't know about you, but if I'm away from the gym any more than a couple of days, I can quite easily slip into the life of a couch potato. After three or more days of no gym or any type of movement or exercise, I feel like I'm stuck in quick sand, being pulled into my previous life of eating crap, sleeping more, and feeling more tired and listless. My belly starts to make strange noises; my body begins to emit some seriously funky odours, and feel sluggish and crappy.

And did I mention that it's also a psychological and motivational killer?!

I know that this can be dangerous to my mental health (and eventually my physical health), if I keep exposing myself to the life of a couch potato.

"The Law of Exposure states, what you expose yourself to dramatically shapes how you think, feel and act. Applying the Law of Exposure proactively takes deliberate action daily. It is a moment to moment conscious choice. If what you expose yourself to is not a reflection of that which you want to create more of in your life than you are going to be working against yourself."

Click here to read more of this great article, called 'Programming your Mind for Success".

Now let's take a step back..."applying the Law of Exposure proactively takes deliberate action daily." 'Deliberate', being the key word. It means we must make the effort and as the next line says..it's a conscious choice.

So what are you exposing yourself too, and is it influencing you in a way that is conducive to your health - mentally, physically, spiritually? Is it getting you where you want to be and are you achieving what you really want to?

If you read the entire article, it also mentions that what you expose yourself to must reflect your values, goals and higher good. If it's not doing that, then you're not going to stick with your goal/s and you won't experience any real level of success.

When it comes to exercise, it's important to have an idea of what you would like to do. Why not try something different that you may have not done in the past, but thought that it might interest you? And when you've found your 'thing', then go for it!

Once you've found what you like to do, set some goals, lay out a plan and exercise the Law of Exposure. You'll find that by exposing yourself constantly and consistently to that positive energy will act just like drug - you just want more. And let's be honest - if it affects your life in a way that is beneficial to not only you and those you come into contact with, then there is nothing wrong with that. And by applying conscious effort consistently, you'll begin to see results.

That energy created is exponential...it just grows and grows, and who doesn't want more of that? It's what will fuel your motivation to keep exposing yourself to the same euphoric feelings and keep you moving in the right direction.

As for me, even though it's only been 2 days away from the gym, I'm so glad I decided to turn up this morning and expose myself to all that physical energy. It's what I feed off, and once I begin and get my heart rate up, my couch potato symptoms disappear and all is right with my world.

Let's Get It Started...

2011-07-03T13:12:00.001+10:00

"Everybody, everybody, let's get into it.

Get stupid.

Get it started, get it started, get it started.

Let's get it started (ha), let's get it started in here.

Yeah."

- from the lyrics 'Let's Get It Started', by Black Eyed Peas

There's not much to say lately. Sometimes I think what I have to say is inconsequential to most. What goes through my head on most days in relation to my goals, is boring in its' simplicity.

It's what motivates me and gets me out of bed and wanting to train. Shallow and self-serving it may appear, but it's what drives me. The vision of what is possible gives me energy and inspires me to push myself, even when on some days I'd quite happily stay in bed under the covers.

But it's not in the reaching, but the striving where all the rewards are. It's what keeps me young.

I feel a sense of accomplishment that at the age of 42, I'm in better shape than I was at 22, abeit not as agile. I'm in the best place of my life right now, and I figure it can only get better. Why stop now? I have no health problems or concerns because I exercise and I'm careful about what I eat, and I have a balanced approach to life. I'm disciplined, but not obsessive.

Let's be honest...to be lean all year round takes constant hard work and discipline. It doesn't just happen by accident. And to keep on top of our health and fitness takes so much more work, as all of us woman in their late 30's-over 40's can attest to. I've also found from experience that we tend to have more 'stuff' to deal with...injuries, post-pregnancy scars (for those of us who have children) and the emotional baggage which comes as a natural consequence of just being around for this long.

"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do"

- John Wooden

So what inspires me every day to train hard and watch what I eat?

A tight, hard set of glutes and

flaring quads...

That is all. Nothing more...nothing less.

Oh...and to look like what Ava Cowan does in those shorts! And without shorts. ;) Come on, you know you want it too. So...let's get it started...no time like the present (I tell myself).

On Failing...

2011-06-25T12:55:00.001+10:00

"We often think people who achieve great things never fail, that success comes naturallly to them. This, of course, is a mistake. Truth is that risk-taking breeds failure and failure breeds success."

- from the book,'Run', by Dean Karnazes

If you haven't read any of Dean Karnazes books (aka 'Ultramarathon Man'), I'd encourage you to do so. His books were recommended to me by someone I met a couple of months ago - Rose, who is a marathon runner.

Regardless of whether you like to run or not, this guy is an inspiration. He's your Lance Armstrong of ultra marathon running. Just to give you an idea of how freakish this guy is, here's a small excerpt from an article by Wired Magazine. To read the complete article, just click on the link.

"Dean Karnazes ran 50 marathons in 50 days. He does 200 miles just for fun. He'll race in 120-degree heat..."

Now when I said he's an inspiration, that doesn't mean I'm about to go out and run an ultra marathon, let alone a marathon (marathons are running races of 42.5kms, or 42.195kms to be exact). Maybe if I would have discovered these pursuits about 20 years ago, I think I would definitely have given them a go.

But I can learn what humans are capable of and what is possible when it comes to human endurance. And in doing so, I can evaluate my own performance and question my willingness to give everything in life, the very best of myself.

I think we can always do better than what we're presently doing. There's no question about that. The question is...are we willing to do better than what we're doing right now? And is what we're doing, really our best?

I ask you this question, because I have been asking myself the very same thing. Why? It's not only in reading inspirational books, but in learning about people who are in your life right now, who in their ordinary, every day living, lead lives of quiet inspiration. By quiet inspiration, I mean that you may not have known how inspirational their lives are or were, because they don't share them openly and are so humbling and modest, you may not even notice their presence.

It has been in the last couple of days that I learnt of someone who I didn't know too well, who was a friend of my husband's family. He recently passed away and in his eulogy I came to know of this remarkable man, whom I had met in our local church. He was a regular attendee, but we never really spoke alot, apart from a small hello or goodbye.

To say that I was astonished at what he had achieved in his life, and the remarkable influence he had on his family, friends and peers was nothing short of momentum changing.

Since then, I've been questioning my own motivation and the fact that I've become so protective of being hurt, both physically and emotionally, that I think I've short-changed myself in what life has to offer and in what I can give of myself.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not admonishing myself for what I may or may not have done so far in my life. But I can see that I haven't quite stepped up to the plate of late. And it's because I haven't been ready to. I've been afraid of failing. And in being afraid of failing, I've pulled back on giving everything I have, in the aim of protecting myself. Always weighing up every conceivable angle before proceeding, and not trusting in my ability to land on my feet. Worried about how I would appear to others. When you're constantly told how strong and confident you are, you worry about appearing anything but.

Because, when all is said and done, of those things I have feared the most and attempted, I've survived and come through the other side. I have always landed on my feet, and when I looked back at why I was so worried, I realise that the fear lasted only a short while, but the feeling and exhilaration of overcoming, lingers indefinitely.

In the last 2-3 years I've looked back at what I've achieved, and I have to say that I was scared alot of the time because I stepped outside my comfort zone more than I really wanted to. Forcing myself to do things that I wasn't confident with, is something I've been doing to take my life to the next level. I know that if I want to really experience everything that life has to offer, I have to take that leap of faith.

I've discovered in the last six months that some of the things I'd been afraid of, but have pushed myself to do, even though I hated doing it at the time, I no longer fear to the same extent. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm great at them, but it does mean that I can now use that energy I had previously utilised being afraid, to channel into making progress and putting myself wholeheartedly into it.

I'm now in position to push myself to see what I'm really capable of and what I can achieve, now that I have a better handle on the fear factor. There is still that element of fear, but it's not paralysing anymore because I'm not afraid of failing. Because in the end, I know that if I give it 110% and give it everything I have, even if I stumble and fall and have seemingly failed, I've won the battle with myself.

I don't know about you, but to me, succeeding in life isn't about beating others, but on winning the war with, and within yourself.

So how are you doing? Is fear of failure stopping you from gaining the most from your life? Because if so, I hope you can find the strength within you to embrace failing, so that you may experience the success you deserve!

What Brims Beneath the Surface...

2011-06-22T18:00:00.004+10:00

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies."

~ Erich Fromm

Lately I've been doing alot of reading. I may have already mentioned this...I love nothing more than sitting on my comfy chair with my nanna blanky over my lap, reading a great book and sipping tea.

My favourite genre of books is Autobiographies. My favourite types of autobiographies are the stories of struggle and triumph. Especiallly when it comes to sports and fitness. I have read others and enjoyed them, but I love those most especially.

The lastest book, 'Open' by Andre Agassi was one that got me thinking. I was shocked at the pain, both physically and mentally he was going through during his many years getting to No.1 and then holding onto that ranking.

Lately, I've been doing alot of observing and thinking about this contradiction. The contradiction, that along with success and happiness, struggle and pain is brimming just below the surface.

How many stories, both famous and otherwise, where before success was realised, the bitter taste of struggle was never far away.

And this is what I observe with people's daily lives. On the surface, people are going about their daily lives seemingly happy. Yet, ask them and each person will have their own story of sadness and pain. They may be even in the midst of pain, but you would never know sometimes.

You don't know. I didn't know. There are some closest to us, who have been unhappy more moments of their lives than they have been happy. They can count those moments on their fingers. And I feel sad for them. I feel sad, because I've been oblivious to this apparent state of being.

I feel sad for them, because my happy days...moments...far outweigh my sad moments and times of struggle. I can count my struggles on my fingers. Though...when I think deeper about it, maybe I just don't remember, and don't choose to remember them. I choose the good memories.

I can genuinely say that I am a happy person; I love life, and life intoxicates me. I am grateful for this blessing.

So when you meet someone who is apparently 'successful' or achieved many things in their lives, don't be too quick to judge and label them lucky. You never know what they may have endured to get there.

Which leaves me on a parting note. This is just from someone I know in the AA. A medical doctor, who served over in Afghanistan recently. His story I wish would be told to more people. His story is of those who live in worn-torn countries, who have only ever known war and hardship. I'm glad he told us his story. The story of local people in such third world countries and what they have to endure. And he says that the thing he got most from his experience is to never take life for granted...we take life for granted here in Australia.

To live each day without the fear of yourself or your loved ones being shot or wounded and not having that constant stress of living on the edge is such a gift, he said.

And it got me thinking how selfish we can be, to judge those who look for a better life. So for people who come from other countries, before I judge, I will try to consider what struggles and pains that are brimming beneath the surface and try to walk a mile in their shoes.

Take a Chance...

2011-06-16T11:27:00.003+10:00

Pauline Nordin...still my benchmark

Satay Chicken Pizza

"So take a chance...and don't ever look back...don't ever look back."

- from the lyrics of 'Teengage Dream', Katy Perry

Well hello! I can't believe it's been over one week since I posted. Well...I can...I sought of went underground. I have to admit I went through a period of uncertainty. Sometimes in life there are too many choices, and the problem is deciding what to choose! What a dilemma hey?  How fortunate am I that, that is about as challenging as my life gets? Yet it is exactly what's been happening in the past week. You could say I have been through a bit of a pyschological slump. I have been overwhelmed with all my options about what I want to do and what my present goals are.

In all honesty, I still haven't quite worked that out.   Though I've worked out what I don't want. More on that later. But after a little bit of a training lull due to illness and general confusion, I have taken some timely and wise advice from the coaching guru herself, Liz. And that advice?....Just keep moving!

So that's what I'm doing. And at the moment, I'm not really fussed about how I'm moving. I'm just doing whatever I feel like at the moment. I'm following my heart and enjoying the ride. I figure I'll work it out on the run.

All I know is that when I'm moving, I'm happy!

So during my 'lull' I did quite a bit of baking (and partaking in the eating of that baking...oops!). I made my first ever pizza base, made of wholemeal spelt flour and I made one (or two) awesome pizzas. The first (pictured) is a chicken satay pizza. I'm not very creative. I got this recipe from a great blog called Bake, Bike, Blog. Check it out! The pizza was heaven! My first attempt was thick and crusty, and my second attempt was thin and crispy and I changed the topping to ham and pineapple with tomato, mushrooms and bocconcini cheese - special request from Miss Philomena. Ahhh...Belissimo!

There endeth my food confession. There are few more, but we won't go into detail about those, apart from having a lovely wedding anniversary dinner that AW and I had last Saturday. A lovely dinner up at my fave place, Mt Tamborine, eating in front of warm, inviting fire place. I even had a couple of glasses of Moscato (I'm not really a drinker).

Now...onto more important things...like training!

Once I hit my 57kg's, I didn't really have a goal. Where do I go from here? My goal is mainly to stay lean all-year-round, so maintaining between 57-58kg's is the aim. The last week I've got up to my limit of 58kg's and have promptly reined in my nutrition again.

Liz suggested doing a BB comp as a way to stay focused, so we were hush,hush about that as I didn't want to put it out there as I hadn't really decided if I was going to do it. The What If? factor is so powerful. I thought that was great goal, and also to do another photo shoot at the same time. I went along to the INBA titles at Chandler a couple of weekends ago, thinking that would put the fire in the belly.

And guess what happened?....NOTHING! In fact I felt annoyed. It didn't have the effect I was looking for. It didn't inspire me the way I thought it would.

But I kept training, and that's when I got a bit unstuck, not realising what had happened. After a little chat with coach, we kind of figured that a BB comp was not going to give me the focus and I needed to find another worthy goal.

So I've accepted that doing BB comp is really not who I am. There! I said it! It sounds so appealing, and I've had visions of a ripped version of me up there on stage, strutting my stuff. But in all honesty...that's not me.

I like the notoriety of being just me at my best and looking lean and defined every ordinary day of my life! My dreams and visions are just a better version of me!

I still want a Pauline butt and better legs, especially around the top of my thighs. But I'm happy with my body and I love feeling this lean and fit. I love the fact that I can now just about attempt any type of activity and be able to smash it - feel spent, and then get up, walk away, feel energised and be ready for the next thing...whatever life has to throw at me.   And without injury!

Pauline - the perfect combination of lean and muscular

Last week I did an MMA class at my gym. It's a new class called Cage Fit - a 45 min MMA conditioning class (longer than 45 mins). And it's awesome! No PT's or fitness instructors taking this class...nah-ah...a MMA fighter takes this class. His name is Nick is he's ripped! We were waiting for him to remove his shirt, but we were sorely disappointed...lol...

Michelle Gutierrez - female MMA fighter

Anyway. I have to admit - it wasn't what I expected. It was challenging but I was delighted at how well my body handled it, considering that I'd done a big leg session that morning. No soreness the following day (only from squats and rack pulls), which we were told would probably happen. According to Nick, our first session was 'easy' compared to the type of training that your typical MMA club does. I'd believe it. Two girls walked out and said it wasn't for them. We finished off with a 'cardio' session which consisted of 3 x 3 min rounds of boxing, punching, knee strikes and the dreaded 'Defence' move.

Defence is a move where you basically drop to ground like you're doing a push-up, and then jump up again as quickly as you can (it's to avoid a mid-section tackle or pile drive). Needless to say there were alot of Defence cues in the rounds. How stoked was I to find that I could do this move and jump straight back up, over and over? No lower back soreness or compromising of form, and I was amazed at how strong and quick my legs moved. A testament to all the core and leg work I've been doing with Liz!

So tonight I'm going back for more! Nick's goal for us is to get to 10 x 3min rounds (1 min recovery in-between). He said if we have the same group we can learn alot of technique as well as improve our fitness. So I want to see how fit I can get. Anything in the quest for 'fit-and-lean-for-life'!

I've had a better week...some great leg sessions on Monday and Tuesday, followed with a smashing RPM class yesterday with Chila, burning those legs to the extreme, and then a very 'ouchy' massage. Tonight it's MMA conditioning...tomorrow some upper body work and cardio, and Saturday it's back to Wing Chun.

Anyway...I'm hoping that I'll soon be able to put a finger on what I really want. Meanwhile...I'll just keep moving and enjoying my ordinary, everyday leanness! :P ;)

How AWESOME is my life? Yeah...okay...just back up on a high again...Woohoo! :P

What I Look Forward to In My 'Older' Years...

2011-06-07T10:44:00.002+10:00

"Every man can, if he so desires, can become the sculptor of his own brain."

— Santiago Ramon y Cajal

Above is a scene shot from the movie Sabrina (1995). Sabrina is one of my all time favourite movies. I'm yet to see the original with Audrey Hepburn, and I think that's what I'll be doing tonight, as I am home with a head cold which seems to be getting worse. In the above photo, Tom (John Wood) is sitting in his lounge room and there are books scattered everywhere. When he isn't chauffering, he's reading.

This is one of my favourite scenes, because this is what I'd love to do more of...reading. And it's how I imagine myself as I get older and I have more time to indulge in such a decadent past time.

I'm finding that as I get older, my love for reading is become more voracious. My interest and curiousity in the world is really starting to pick up at quite a pace, and the world just seems to be so much more interesting, don't you think?

However, I've also found lately that my mental faculties are just not as fast as they once were, and I'm having more and more trouble remembering things and retaining information. I find this most unsatisfactory, considering I want to learn more, not less.

It's slowing me down, and I need to go over things more often, which just takes more time. It also affects my confidence and my ability to learn. Considering I will be going to university next year to begin studies, I was a bit concerned about my ability to take in information and retain it. The reason becomes more poignant when you realise that I'll be doing a language and linguistics degree, so the importance of my listening and retention skills becomes paramount.

It wasn't until I read the above book, 'The Brain that Changes Itself', by Norman Doidge, M.D., that a flicker of hope about my current dilemma, presented itself. My very good friend, who herself is experiencing difficulties, in relation to her brain and nervous system after a simple operation, put me onto this book (side-effects from anaesthetics). I am grateful for the referral, and after reading this book am astounded and amazed at the brain's ability to change, in order to improve the way our body works and how it can heal itself. Neuroplasticity is an amazing area of science, and one that is absolutely fascinating!

Anyway...here are a couple of excerpts from the book, 'The Brain that Changes Itself'. I highly recommend it.

1. "Neurosplasticity research has shown us that every sustained activity ever mapped - including physical activities, sensory activities, learning, thinking, and imagining - changes the brain as well as the mind. Cultural ideas and activities are no exception. Our brains are modified by the cultural activities we do - be they reading, studying music, or learning new languages. We all have what might be called a culturally modified brain, and as cultures evolve, they continually lead to new changes in the brain. As Merzenich puts it, "Our brains are vastly different, in fine detail, from the brains of our ancestors...In each stage of cultural development...the average human had to learn complex new skills and abilities that all involve massive brain change...Each one of us can actually learn an incredibly elaborate set of ancestrally developed skills and abilities in our lifetimes, in a sense generating a re-creation of this history of cultural evolution via brain plasticity."

So a neuroplastically informed view of culture and the brain implies a two-way street: the brain and genetics produce culture, but culture also shapes the brain. Sometimes these changes can be dramatic."

2. "One of the first people to begin thinking about how plasticity must change the way we think about culture was the Canadian cognitive neuroscientist Merlin Donald, who argued in 2000 that culture changes our functional cognitive architecture, meaning that, as with learning to read and write, mental functions are reorganized. We now know that for this to happen, anatomical structures must change too. Donald also argued that complex cultural activities like literacy and language change brain functions, but our most basic brain functions such as vision and memory are not altered. As he put it, "No one suggests that culture determines anything fundamental about vision or basic memory capacity. However, this is obviously not true of functional architecture of literacy and probably not of language."

Yet in the few years since that statement, it has become clear that even such brain fundamentals as visual processing and memory capacity are to some extent neuroplastic. The idea that culture may change such fundamental brain activities as sight and perception is a radical one."

Anyway...I could go on about this forever, but you'll just have to read the book! There are case studies of people with differing ailments, such as those who have suffered strokes; those who have lost sight, vision, limbs, etc, and the fascinating ways that they have 'rewired' their brains in order to function better and to regain some type of normality in their lives. Lots of fascinating stories about how neuroscientists are able to change, rewire and recreate 'brain maps', so that people can use other senses or parts of the body to do the job of senses that are lost. A bit like those who lose sight, who use their fingers to read. Their fingers take on the role of 'eyes'.

So in my quest to improve my cognitive abilities, I've started doing Brain Exercises using Brain Training Software, in the same way as I exercise my physical body. I probably won't see a real change or notice any differences until maybe another month. But I will let you know down the track how I'm going.

Meanwhile, I'm currently enjoying some time out while recuperating in my cave. My new book "Ultramarathon Man' by David Karnazes should arrive at my doorstep either today or tomorrow, and I can't wait to get into it!

Finding Comfort in our Discomfort

2011-06-01T13:17:00.020+10:00

"Definition: a Paradox is a seemingly true statement or group of statements that lead to a contradiction or a situation which seems to defy logic or intuition. The term is also used for an apparent contradiction that actually expresses a non-dual truth such as two true sentences which put together seem incompatible as both being true."

- Wikipedia

The photo is of practicioners doing 'discomfort yoga'. It looks very uncomfortable to me. But I'm presuming that people do this kind of stuff thinking that it's supposed to be comfortable (eventually)?

So today I'm expanding on my last post in relation to challenging yourself. Funny how simple conversations can lead to deeper thoughts. The conversation which led me to think about Finding Comfort in our Discomfort, was one that I had with a woman in the gym on Monday, after our cycle class.

Craig, our usual enigmatic instructor was nowhere in sight, and a young female instructor came in and announced that she was taking over the slot and then proceeded to play crap music, at which time I knew we were in for a crap cycle session.

Not only did she instantly put us off with her choice of music, but basically began to tell everyone that they needed to all be cycling at the same level of resistance and exactly what that level was (Craig points out that we are all at individual fitness levels and to work to whatever level you are, with the aim of always improving your effort and results). She never asked if it was anyone's first session (Craig always makes a point of doing this, and showing them how to set up their bike, etc), and I doubt whether she'd taken the time to find out more about Craig and how he ran his classes and how she could help with a smooth transition. She also gave the class a kick in the guts during the session, saying that we weren't trying hard enough and to push harder...WTF?

One woman walked out during the class, and you could guess at how lively the conversation was afterwards in the little girl's room. So anyway...the conversation with one woman...

We were talking about how the sudden change in both instructor and the way the class ran, instantly made us all feel uncomfortable. We've become so used to how Craig instructs - his upbeat personality, lively banter and enthusiasm, and his awesome ability to choose and arrange his tracks in a way that motivates and inspires us. When we're in that cycle room, he makes us think we're out on the road, and we're in the race of our lives. Whether it's pacing, racing or tackling those mountain climbs - we're right there with him.

So when our cycle session began, I was loathing it. I was observing all the negative thoughts running through my head, about the crap music and how boring the session was going to be. I had built up such an expectation of my Monday morning cycle class, because it's the first thing on my training schedule for the week that I use to get me pumped and motivated for the week ahead.

A truth then struck me: When something happened that changed my expectation of what I was about to experience - an experience I was normally comfortable with...I became uncomfortable.

I began to inquire into the reasons I felt this way, and realised that my discomfort was born of comfort. Comfort in my routine...comfort in my expectations...comfort in knowing how the session would be instructed...comfort in knowing what lay ahead when I cycled in one of Craig's classes.

I then looked at the reason why I was actually here in the first place, and it dawned on me that I was looking for the wrong reasons and that originally I started doing the cycle class to experience a level of 'discomfort' I hadn't known before.

It was in doing something different...something I found challenging (because my legs at first were quite tired) that made me want to try Cycle classes in the first place. I knew I had to work on improving endurance in my legs. I first found it challenging, and I still do because I always push myself and work on improving...increasing my level of resistance...doing my best on pace work, which I'm not good on. But now my legs have become stronger and my endurance has improved, I no longer view my sessions as being uncomfortable.

So with this realisation, I decided that I would forget about who was taking the class, and the crap music, and focus on the real reason I was there. To get uncomfortable and to push myself in a different way. Not only physically (because she did push us hard!), but to push myself mentally and to challenge my limited thinking.

We become comfortable when we train our thoughts in ways which see us placing limits and boundaries on them. And we need to recognise when we're doing this, because it stops us from experiencing new things and therefore limits our ability to transcend our current level of existence.

If we want to make real and lasting progress, and move forward as a person, then we need to embrace discomfort, because it's only then that we really understand and appreciate the comforts we are gifted with. Therefore, I find comfort in my discomfort and I'm excited every day by the possibilities of what I can achieve and experience...now and into the future.

Do You Challenge Yourself?

2011-05-23T16:32:00.010+10:00

“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.”

- Stephen R. Covey

Today I started back in my normal routine, and every Monday I start with a GoCycle session. It's a great start to the week, and it puts me in the right frame of mind - one of motivation and determination.

Upon leaving, Craig (my gym cycle instructor) asked where I'd been, to which I replied that I had been in Albury/Wodonga doing my AR training. One of the class members who was still there piped up, and asked what it was like, as it was something she had been thinking about doing, and wasn't too sure if she was too old now. I told her the cut-off age to join is 55, to which I think started the cogs turning in her head. She proceeded to ask me lots of questions about what it was like, and how hard it was physically, etc, as she was now 46.

Michelle (her real name) is a regular gym member and she attends alot of cycle classes as well as doing other cardio and numerous classes. She strikes me as someone who is not afraid to put in hard work and is always striving to get fitter.

Anyway...during our discussion we talked about 'challenging yourself', and how when you get into your 40's, that you either tend to have an aversion to challenges, or you embrace them. It was obvious that we three believed strongly in rising to the occasion and doing things to constantly challenge ourselves, both physically and mentally.

However, I was surprised to hear how some people that Craig talked to did not even understand why you would put yourself through the hard work and put yourself in a position to push yourself physically and mentally. For many, the thought is totally foreign to them, and a life devoid of challenge is much more appealing, because it equates to comfort.

I find that somewhat sad. The reason I find it sad, is because so many people are not living at all and live so far beneath their potential. I know it sounds strange, but I think if you can challenge yourself and know what it feels like to push yourself and be pushed to your limit, you find out what you are really made of, it can make you appreciate the life that you have. Challenges I believe, lead to doors of opportunites you would never have dreamt of. What you can achieve then becomes limitless.

When you get comfortable, you tend to get complacent about what you have. Not just in a material sense, but also in the sense of the skills and qualities that you already possess. Also, I know that in the midst of whatever it is that I am enduring, that if I can get through that challenge, that anything else is easy in comparison. I know I can endure most things.

That's what it was like when I went to Kapooka for my basic training. It was one of the most challenging things that I've ever done - both physically and mentally. And it wasn't necessarily because I wasn't physically strong, but I found it difficult because I'd built limitations within my thinking that held me back. I had put limits on what I thought I was capable of doing, but it came as a shock, because I hadn't realised it until then. Until I was put to the test, and put in a position of taking risks I didn't know how I lacked the courage to put myself on the line and have faith in my own abilities. I thought I was braver than that, but I was disappointed to find that I wasn't as brave as what I thought I was. I was too busy trying to survive and keep under the radar.

So for me, the challenge at first was about physically being able to do what was required. But as the weeks wore on, I realised that the physical was only the start. The real challenges were overcoming the mental limitations I had placed upon myself.

So that is why I continue to do AR. I've learned through putting myself out there and being willing to step outside my comfort zone that I am quite capable, and I've overcome some significant fears and limitations. But it's only through putting myself through that fear and feeling the stress of not being able to do things perfectly the first time that it's happened. It's happened over time. I've stuffed up alot and looked like an idiot, and no doubt I will continue to do that. But eventually, I'll get better and better and it's just a process of elimination. I already am getting better and better.

I no longer fear injuring myself because I set myself the challenge of working on my fitness by continually working day-in-day-out on my rehab exercises and progressive programs. I no longer fear being shouted out (in the AR). If that's the worst that can happen, it's not that bad in the big scheme of things. I no longer fear picking up my rifle and not knowing what I need to do, and doing it safely. I can now pick it up without fearing that I will do anything wrong, and I know how it works, how to fix it if it doesn't, how to strip it and put it back together, and do it all with alicrity. Twelve months ago, that wasn't how I felt. But it's only through showing up when I knew it was difficult for me, that I overcame the fear. It's through constant exposure and repetition, and making mistakes (safely with a rifle, of course). It's through feeling the fear and doing it anyway that I got to that level of confidence.

And when you're out there in the field - when you haven't showered for days - when you're lying on your belly in the dark, with your rifle, and it's cold and you're freezing; you're hungry; you've been pushed to your physical limits; you've had little sleep for days, and your only thought is about the next shot that's about to ring out and how to respond, life kind of gains alot of clarity for you.

As much as I hate that part of my AR training, and I'm asking myself while lying out in the cold "why the fu*k am I doing this?" - in spite of all that, the appreciation I gain of how good my life is and how damned lucky we are is my most significant epiphany. It's also knowing that if I can go through this shit and do something so uncomfortable, then I have it within me to endure most things. It's a test of my character and whether I have the determination and character to persevere, even when things aren't comfortable. I could easily pack it in, but then what would that say about me as a person? Do I give up when I sniff the first sign of adversity, or do I persevere?

And in persevering, I find eventually that what was hard becomes easier. In challenging myself, what I could not do before, no longer do I fear, and I can turn my focus to overcoming the next challenge. In the process I've acquired new skills. I've increased my confidence, and I've reinforced the fact that I can do whatever it is I set my mind too.

I still have things to overcome and many challenges ahead. There are many other people out there in the world doing extraordinary things and overcoming immense challenges. What constitutes a challenge to one person, may not necessarily be for another. It's all relative.

The important thing to remember is that for you, wherever you are right now...challenge yourself. Try something new. Even if it means it might be hard. Or that you might make mistakes. You might look stupid for a little while and you may feel fear. But I guarantee that if you can challenge yourself, that eventually you will become better and overcome that fear, and what you thought you could not do, you will be able to do. You may not even be able to do it magnificently, but over time you could if you really wanted to, if you persevered and focused on what it is that you truly want.

It Feels AWESOME To Be Me!

2011-05-05T13:04:00.005+10:00

"Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth."

- Martin H. Fischer

Do you have those days where you feel on top of the world - life has that bright and shiny feel to it, and the feeling of sheer pleasure of being healthy and alive, emanates from every pore in your body?

That's how I feel today, and I'm bursting with such joy that I had to share it before I leave tomorrow.

I had my last gym session today before leaving, and I finished strong. Some might have thought me a little crazy. I finished with a cardio session on the cross-trainer and went hell-bent-for-leather, just because I felt so damned good. The reason why people might have though me crazy?...I was smiling and mouthing the words to my latest fave workout song, because it felt good to be able to push myself and I wanted to feel spent.

So here's my latest fave workout track by Pitbull (feat Ne Yo)..."Grab somebody sexy and tell 'em, hey...Give Me Ev-ery-thing To-night". So I gave it everything I had! ;)

Hope you feel as awesome as I do right now!

It's a Wrap Up...

2011-05-01T14:49:00.010+10:00

My new Denali soft-shell jacket (looks better on)

One of my op-shop bargain buys - Cargo pants ($9.95) that fit like a glove

Just to prove that, yes...it's a Size 8!

My other op-shop bargain buy...Pink Volleys ($12.95)...aren't they just so cool?

Little Miss Phil enjoying her pikelets

An Easter treat...pikelets with ricotta cheese, mixed berry sauce & freshly whipped cream

Chicken thigh stir-fry with pak choy, mushrooms, carrot & beans on top of rice vermicelli

Today will be my last post for a few weeks. I'm heading off to Albury/Wodonga for my AR employment training. This should see the completion of my employment training, and I'll officially be an Operator Administrative Clerk. It will also mean that I'll be a full private. It will have taken me only just less than 2 years, as I enlisted in June 2009.

So I've been busy making lists of all sorts...packing, to-do's, nutrition plans. As well as lots of washing and drying. Our dryer decided to give up the ghost, so we've been hot-footing it down to the local laundromat, which I could easily digress into another subject about people who frequent laundromats on a regular basis (but I won't).

I've also been buying some last minute items to prepare me for the cold. As you may or may not be aware - I hate cold weather! That's why I live in Brissy, and even the winters here are too cold for me. Today's weather was max 22deg C and min 11deg C in Albury. Looking at the forecast this week, it looks like the temperature is dropping and a min. 2deg C is forecast for Wednesday...brrrrr...

I have enough thermals, though I'll be spending most of the days inside and it will be heated. But the last few days we have a field trip, so we go bush. That, I am not looking forward too! It's just the cold. That aside, getting to and from buildings and getting to the gym at the end of the day is going to be the interesting thing.

My natural tendency is to stay indoors and stay warm, but I want to get in as much exercise as I can, especially in the first week, as the work and study load really starts to build by the end of the first week, and in the second week, there won't be any time for working out. I'm steeling myself though to get out and go for a run, even if it's for 20minutes. I'll try to get in as much weights during the first week. But it's a 10-15min walk to the gym and the weather down in Albury is just horrible, so I plan on running. I'm sure the AA pick these locations because they are hell-holes, so they can put us to the test.

So...I went out to Anaconda and Mountain Designs today to check out their jackets and hydration backpacks. I have to tell you, I lurve Mountain Designs! I've now a found a new outlet for my clothing. I just wish it wasn't so expensive.

Anyway...I went to Mountain Designs first. I found this awesome soft-shell jacket with hood (in Black, of course). It is wind-proof; rain-proof; insulated; breathable, and it fits like a glove! Except...they didn't have my size in Black...arghhhh! Luckily though. It was on sale. Down from $349 to $199! Bargain!...***cringe*** If they would have had my size, I was going to buy it regardless (stupid me).

As I said...luckily they didn't have it my size, so I popped over to Anaconda. They happened to have a soft-shell jacket - hood; wind-proof; rain-proof; thermal insulation; breathable...and...in Black in a size 10! Woohoo! Only $169.95 thank you very much!***cringe***.

So here I was turning the cost over in my head, thinking I couldn't really afford it, but damn I look good in it! :P So I go to the checkout thinking it was cheaper than Mountain Designs (though not as spiffy), and justifying the expense because I was going to get 10% discount being a Defence Force member (which Mountain Designs do not give). I flash my Army ID, and I wait for the price......waiting...heart is beating faster...and the girl says to me..."that will be $71.50 thanks!" WTF! She must have made a mistake...oh well...she must be right. She did scan it. I showed my ID. Bargain! Needless to say, I was ecstatic, and felt like doing the highland jig right there at the checkout (but it would have looked too uncool). Thanks very much ADF! Sometimes it does pay to serve your country in more ways than one.

I've also planned my in-between meals (at the mess). I think I've got it covered! I'm taking down a stash of protein bars, so meal 2 will be probably a protein bar with a piece of fruit. I'm also planning to go shopping for supplies, such as tinned tuna and chicken, microwave steamed vege packs, cottage cheese, froz berries, miso soup, yoghurt, etc. This way, I'll have no excuse to eat crap in-between meals. One of the ideas I have, is throwing in some tinned chicken into the miso soup and adding some steamed veges for my protein and complex carb sources. I tried one of the tins of chicken, and it was quite good. I am sticking to the ones without any sauces of course, as they have hardly any fat. I've bought myself a little food thermos to pack in my army daypack, so that I can have soup ready-to-go if I want.

The hardest time will be at the end of the day, as everyone goes to the boozer and drinks and eats crap. I don't drink, so that's not a problem. But last year I got stuck into the beer nuts and chips every night. I also ate ice-cream for dessert every night as well as hot chips for dinner. There won't be any of that while I'm down there this time! I'll save myself for the end-of-course dinner in town, and think I will have a nice treat meal then.

Anyway...Easter was lovely, and after Lent it was on...with the food...heh..heh... Actually, it wasn't that bad. I didn't pig out, but I didn't calorie count or plan my meals too strictly either. I just went with the flow and ate pretty much what I wanted. Above you'll see that on Easter Saturday morning I made these beautiful pancakes with Ricotta cheese in the batter, and topped it with mixed berries (with a little castor sugar to lessen the tang), and freshly whipped cream! We all enjoyed it. I also promised myself some well-deserved chocolate. I'm not a huge fan of chocolate, but I love roast almond chocolate! I bought myself two family blocks (they were on special :) ), and ate them both - I didn't share with anyone!

The last photo is just one I decided to take. I'm starting to experiment a bit with my food, as now I know what quantities of proteins, carbs and fats is ideal for me. I can now 'mix-n-match' all of these to keep my nutrition interesting and appealing. I love chicken thighs, and prefer the taste to chicken breast, so I've been cooking alot of stir-fry with thighs. It means I have to cut down on the quantity, because of the fat content, but that's okay. I'm enjoying the meals more, which is very important.

Okay...I'm all over the place...the cargo pants...

As you can see, I've been bargain shopping at my favourite op-shop here in Beenleigh (Endeavour Foundation). They have some real cool stuff at reasonable prices, and it's a huge store. My LJ camos are too big so I'm in dire need of some cargo pants that fit me (that's all I wore last winter). Yesterday I tried on about 6 different cargo pants in a size 10. They were all too big! So I tried on these size 8's (thinking originally they would be too small) and you know what? They fit just perfectly! I was one happy little vegemite. It's my first size 8! :)

And don't you just love the hot pink Volleys? I couldn't believe that they had them in my size and they are sooooo comfortable. The girl just put them out, so I was lucky to snap them up.

Not only did I indulge over Easter, but through circumstance, I couldn't get to the gym for 5 day. Apart from recovery week earlier in the year, that's the longest I haven't exercised. Of course I put on weight on the scales (I only measured at the end of the 5 days),but I 've been doing this long enough to know that it's all carbs. I no longer stress about these little events or periods in my schedule. I honour myself during the week, and I'm pretty disciplined most of the time. I have my occasional moments, but I'm cool with that.

The most rewarding feeling is to get to a place where you know how your body responds, and you can relax. I know that within 3-4 days of clean eating, I am back to my normal weight. I'm currently sitting on 56.97kg's, so I'm at my happy weight. It's good to know that I can do this quite happily, and not stress. The hard work I've put in, has enabled me to get to this place, and it's a good place to be.

So when I get back it will be time to renew my vigour and start my new training and nutrition program. I can't wait to return and start training hard again on a consistent basis and get back into the flow of training.

So it's ciao for now...and I'll talk to you when I return.

Evolutionary Defining Moments

2011-04-22T16:43:00.011+10:00

"If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future - look into your present actions."

- Chinese Proverb

The definition of a Defining Moment is stated as "a point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified."

I don't consider myself someone who has achieved anything extraordinary compared to those who are more well known for great achievements in their given fields of expertise. However, I do not belittle my life or my journey, nor think myself any lesser a person. How can you say that your life is no less ordinary than anothers', or that it is worth any less or any more? Especially when you look beyond the physical being of a person and look into their hearts. It is what it is...different.

I do however strive to create more evolutionary defining moments in my life. Meaning...creating defining moments which signify a continual, and progressive change toward not only a better life, but a life for us which typifies our own unique genius. And in doing so, I hope to achieve a life that embodies what it means for me to be extraordinary (a better version of myself).

Defining moments can either hinder or help your progress, and we all experience both of these types of moments. If we look closely enough, and are honest with ourselves, I'm sure we can say which moments we tend to focus on more readily. However, which ones we focus on currently, we can probably assume are a reflection of our current state of mind and reality.

Personally...and this is just my opinion...defining moments to me, signify that a single action, or collection of actions has taken place. It's at this particular point, that we determine whether an action (or non-action, which is still a type of action) will be one which 'hinders' our evolution or puts us on the path of progress. If we continually create actions which hinder our evolution, then that creates defining moments that over the medium to long-term, will result in lives that continually disappoint. On the other hand - if we continually create actions which are progressive in nature, then we should see the quality of our lives improve, and our ability to exponentially create extraordinary lives (whatever that means to us).

Now remember, it's okay to create defining moments that hinder our evolution every so often. That's part of the process of making mistakes and experiencing failures. It's only when we continually create actions that hinder over an indefinite period of time, that it then robs us of our true potential and our ability to create evolutionary defining moments, and hence, our ability to lead extraordinary lives.

Lastly, to finish off what I am trying to convey...in relation to actions, this is where alot of us can fall down. It's the notion of 'never giving up' that to me, really determines whether an action or collection of actions will create the success you seek.

To best describe what I mean, I will give you an example in relation to training, which is the best way I know how.

When you set goals, it's important to look at the bigger goals or the bigger picture to keep you focused on the why. To achieve your goals, it's not only in the planning, but in the executing. The execution of your plan is where all the actions are, and it's where you create your defining moments. The quality of your action at that point in time, i.e. hindering or progressive, will determine the type and quality of your defining moment. And over time, the better the quality, the better the result. The more progressive, the more you will contribute to your evolution, and the more likely your life to be one which is extraordinary.

In that one action, that one defining moment...that one that you're in right now (relative to training/exercise, though it can relate to anything), whether you give up or not, will determine, over time, whether you will create the life you have always wanted and dreamt of...or not. Nothing more...nothing less.

However, in saying that, for those people whose many defining moments have been negatively influenced and outside of their control, and who have suffered physically and/or emotionally as a result, I cannot speak for and do not purport to know the answer. The only thing that I can surmise is that regardless of actions forced upon that person, the defining moment is in their ability to determine whether that or those moments control their present and future actions, and their ability to create their own evolutionary defining moments, as to whether they can still lead a happy and deeply meaningful life.

Now back to the training scenario...If you're on that treadmill, for example, and you have set your goal to run for 30 minutes at a speed of 9, and you know it's a realistic goal to go for, but you find that you've hit 25 minutes and you're struggling - it's at this point, this defining moment which will determine what your future is going to look like.

You see, it's what you do at this moment which defines who you are.

Sorry...it's a pretty tough call, but let me finish. You can do one of two things. You can:

1) Stop...give up right now, because it's too hard, or...

2) You can still complete your goal, but change the parameters to ensure that you abide by your rule of 'never giving up'. An example would be, to decrease your speed for the last 5 minutes.

You see, by changing the parameters, you're still going to hit your goal. Maybe not today. But if you increase the length of time you run at the speed of 9, by 30 seconds or 1 minute, every time you hop on that treadmill - over time you will achieve your complete goal of running at the speed of 9 for 30 minutes. When you hit that goal, does it really matter how long it took you to get there? The point is...you've arrived. You can then keep changing the goal posts and making progress. Maybe next time, you can then increase the speed or incline, and then increase the time until you hit the 30 minute mark again, or you can just increase the time. It's all up to you!

The most important action or defining moment is in the never giving up. The most important action is completing your task in that given moment, even if it means changing the parameters a little (as long as you're being honest and not short-changing yourself, i.e. you're honouring yourself).

Because, if you create more and more of these types of actions...these defining moments, that mindset of never giving up and giving it your all...that there is how to create extraordinary. That there is your "essential nature or character", and what you will be known for...it's part of your character-building and reputation.

We have all done this. Pushed ourselves when we thought we had nothing left. And when we did it, we felt liberated and empowered! We then believed that whatever it was that we were striving toward was possible. It fuelled our confidence, our belief in ourselves and our motivation.

Create enough of these defining moments and our lives can be transformed.

So remember...break it up into chunks of action, and never give up on that action...right now. Because that action in that very moment is all that counts. And it's your mindset of always finishing and finishing strong that will set you up for a life of extraordinary, aka a better version of you!

Changes, Bloggie Friends & Spastic Fingers

2011-04-17T19:40:00.005+10:00

Liz & Me - 7th April, 2011

A comp pose Liz had me do. Notice the spastic fingers!

OMG I felt so stupid doing this pose...lol... I am clueless!

Liz was trying to be artistic I think.

Crikey! Me on 30th November 2010 Bloggie Friends

The week just gone, I caught up with some bloggie friends. Namely Vicki M and Liz (aka coach), and also the lovely Carolyn Gertz who is one of the original and famous Ideal Bodies Online success stories.

Carolyn was my inspiration to start my IBO program. It was her interview on Today Tonight that originally inspired me to pick up the phone and check Ideal Bodies Online out and start my health and fitness comeback. I haven't looked back.

And it was through Carolyn that I met Liz. Liz reminded me on Saturday that it was at one of the BB comps down at the Gold Coast that I met her, when she was coaching Carolyn for comp. And it was that comp that Carolyn put me onto Slim Secrets protein bars.

Carolyn was down from Darwin and I decided to join her for Liz's RPM class on Saturday morning, so that I could catch up with her, as I hadn't seen her since that comp, nearly 2 years ago. Carolyn is looking AWESOME, just quietly and she is happy and contented. Now, RPM was a killer and true to form, Liz flogged us. I burnt a whopping 497 calories! It was a tough one. I suspect that having both Carolyn and I there, along with the multitude of RPM enthusiasts, inspired her kick arse session.

So it was off for a quick coffee afterward, and we were joined by Vicki who was pumping some serious weights while we were pedalling madly away. Carolyn had to fly (literally, to catch a plane), so we parted ways and then I met up with Vicki again for lunch down at Southbank.

It was the first time to meet Vicki, and to be quite honest, I didn't know much about her until a couple of weeks ago (I decided to read up on her blog and check out her story...as you do). We've been FB friends for a little while, but you know how it is? Lots of FB and bloggie friends, but not all of them you get to meet face-to-face. So it was AWESOME meeting Vicki! Her energy and enthusiasm for all things fitness is truly inspiring. Not only does she train hard in the gym (and outside and around Kangaroo Point) and compete in figure comps, but she throws in boxing and ballet in amongst the mix!

I felt like I had known Vicki all my life - she is so easy-peasy friendly and go-with-the-flow kinda gal (which I love). Luckily, because I asked her heaps of questions about comps and training and different stuff to do with body building and her goals, etc. I have to admit that I have a fascination with the BB world and the people within it. And I most of all admire their dedication and how hard they train.

Writing this blog and thinking about all the people I've met since the start of my IBO journey, the words...'from little things, big things grow', comes to mind. It especially says alot about the friendships I've come to make, and how they've changed my life so significantly. Some of those friendships and acquaintances have grown into something bigger...some never really develop, and others, well, they just drop by the wayside. The funny thing is, they don't always develop at the same time. It's where chance takes you I suppose.

Changes & Spastic Fingers

When I met up with Liz last week to review my program, she happened to have her camera with her and so we had our photo taken together (aren't we looking trim and terrific...hee...hee)? Liz also took some shots of me and was trying to instruct me on some posing. I have to admit that I felt like a real goose. Especially the 'gun' (bicep) pose...lol... In the back shot (whatever they call it in the BB world), you can see my spastic fingers. I am physically incapable of straightening them, as I have hypermobile joints. So no...I don't have arthritis!

So the top pics were taken on the 7th April and the bottom pics I took for Liz in November 2010, when we brought nutrition into the program. Huge difference! I'd forgotten about these photos until Saturday, when Liz brought in a printout of those November pics. OMG...I nearly choked when I saw them!

I started my program on Monday 30th November, and weighed in at 63.73kgs. At the moment I'm sitting at my maintenance weight of 57kg's, so that's a 6.73kg's difference. It doesn't sound like alot, considering it took me around 3 months to lose. But the photos speak for themselves.

Needless to say, I'm pleased as punch! :)

These Are MY Winter Work Clothes...

2011-04-15T15:51:00.006+10:00

Maxim Long Sleeve Tee

Core Stability Boot Leg

I have to kind of agree with Liz about shopping at Lorna Jane. They can tend to be a little 'overpriced' at times for what they are. However, in spite of cost, I have to admit that of all the gym wear that I buy, LJ has given me the most bang-for-my-buck, over the years. I don't tend to buy LJ gear that often. Simply because it's alot of money to spend. My purchases are usually mulled over for some time before I'll fork out the dollars. But they are good quality and they've lasted the longest and continue to hold their shape and colour, even after washing and putting through the dryer (I know...it's not recommended, but I do it...lol...). Mind you, my best pieces are mostly spandex and cotton and they're more flattering to the derriere.

Today I bought myself a couple of LJ pieces to add to my winter work wear. For some people, a normal J.O.B is justification for spending dollars on uniforms. And that's how I see buying these pieces. They're my uniform. Well...that's what I tell myself.

I tend to spend 2-3 hours of my day at the gym, on average, 5 days a week. Now I don't work out the whole time. I always do a quick warm-up and then before I start, I complete all my dynamic stretches and activation work, followed with weights (most workout days), cardio and the post-stretches. So, I like to have a variety of different outfits, depending on what I'm doing. Mind you, I do have other brand names, and I commit the ultimate sin of mixing and matching them!

The above photos from the LJ site are part of the new LJ Excel, high-tech/performance range. Not that it really means anything, but I do like good quality-wear. I chose these two pieces mainly because I will be choofing off to Albury/Wodonga for my AA employment training in a few weeks, and it's going to be bloody cold!

I detest the cold, but 2 whole weeks without exercise is just too distressing to contemplate. And this time around, there will not be a repeat of putting on 2kg's in 2 weeks! The last time the days and nights were so jam packed that I only had time to go to the gym in the first week. So, if I can get in some gym time in the first week I'll be happy. But that means a 10-15min walk to the gym...brrrrr...I think I'll be jogging to keep warm! I'm trying to prepare myself as well as I can, and psyche myself up to endure the cold.

In as far as nutrition, the last time I went (September last year), I also had dessert every night after dinner (ice cream usually with apple or apricot danish), followed by those snack packets of beer nuts and potato chips at the boozer (AA speak for 'pub'). Hence, my remarkable ability to gain 2kg's, which incidentally took me many months to remove.

This time around, I've been given strict instructions...NO DESSERT!...whilst down there. Not even once!? How hard is that going to be? This will definitely test my resolve.

I've also started planning my 'in-between' meals down there so that I don't fall prey to my trigger foods, like...potato chips, beer nuts (and nuts in general), etc. I've already worked out that as soon as I arrive, I'm going into town to make some food purchases so that I can organise those meals, as we only get three meals a day at the mess (and it's the smorgasboard, all-you-can eat variety). The evenings are the hardest, when it's time to relax and unwind. So this is where I need to plan well.

Anyway...back to the work clothes.

Others spend money on junk food, jewellry, normal clothes, shoes, handbags, alcohol. I'm pretty boring. I don't drink or smoke, and I'm not a 'girly-girl', so fashion isn't one of my things, and wearing jewellry is a pain in the derriere, because you have to constantly remove it!

No...gym wear (and everything that revolves around keeping me fit) is my downfall. Oh the shame!

The Pauline Project

2011-04-09T17:39:00.007+10:00

Thanks to Liz for putting a name to the next leg of my fitness journey. After reviewing my program, progress and technique form last week, Liz is about to create a new training program for me. My instructions before our program review was to look at my goals that I had set at the start of the year and extend them. Easier said than done.

I've been in limbo since hitting my goal weight of 57kg's. I reviewed those goals. And this is what I had down for 2011:

reach 57kg's in weight...TICK

maintain within 1kg-2kg's of 57kg's the entire year

run 2.4km's in under 12mins on my Army BFA (basic fitness assessment)

do 40 push-ups on my BFA...TICK

complete CFA in June (15km timed forced pack march, carrying approx. 30kg pack)

complete Army RDJ (run-dodge-jump) in June within time limit

grade to levels 5 & 6 in Wing Chun

....and injury-free!

I've been a little lost actually, trying to decide how to extend those goals. The other goals which I didn't list, but I'd set nonetheless were:

increase glute size & strength

increase core strength & stability, especially in relation to hip/pelvis

So here's my reviewed and updated goal list for 2011...

maintain within 1kg of 57kg's all year round (allowing for rebound weight)

complete CFA in June

complete RDJ in June

grade to level 5 in Wing Chun in August

run 2.4kms in 12mins on BFA

do 45 push-ups on BFA

increase glute size & strength

increase quad size & strength

increase ab size

increase core strength & stability

progress to lateral movement exercises

As you can see, there's not a lot of difference between my original 2011 and the revised ones. I've just added the visual and functional goals, which Liz has confirmed, go hand-in-hand, i.e. size and strength. I've also realised that I'm capable of more physically, so I've added in the 'lateral movement' goal, which is a big step for me. It will test those gains in the core stability area. With my lower back injuries of previous, this will be new ground I'll be breaking. So it's exciting to think that I'll be ready for this.

Now...writing the revised goals took about 15mins. So what's been the thing I've been finding it difficult to get my head around?

Maintenance, and the whole headspace thing.

Even though I've lost the weight before, this is a new feeling and place for me. I've added a little muscle and I look as lean now as when I did my photo shoot at 54.75kg's with depletion back in January '09. Though I have just a little more bodyfat on my outside thighs that I didn't have at my shoot.

I'm also injury-free. I'm stronger and aerobically fitter, and I've made huge gains just in the last 6-9 months. So much so, I'm continually surprising myself at what I can now do and how much further I can push myself.

I've come to the realisation that I now have no excuses to achieve the goals that I only dreamed about nearly 3 years ago now. There's nothing to stop me. I have no injuries holding me back. I now have the knowledge and experience I need when it comes to training and nutrition, so I can't use ignorance as an excuse.

Now, it's about belief and what's possible. And it's about hard, consistent training. It's about a whole new existence. A whole new paradigm and the way I live maintenance. Looking into the future, it's scary, because this doesn't end next month or next year. It's now the way I do life. This is my lifestyle. Am I prepared to accept that this is how it will be from here on in?

The door is closing on the relationship I had with food and exercise (and I think in general I have a pretty good relationship with both and I'm fairly disciplined). Another door is opening, and it's time to step through to the other side.

That doesn't mean that I'm going to be super obsessive. I can't maintain something which is too restrictive. It won't work. It must allow for the ebbs and flows in my life. So far, with the help of Liz, it's worked fantastically...intuitive training and nutrition. Who'd of thought?

However, intuitive doesn't mean losing control. It means looking at those ebbs and flows, understanding your mind and body and planning accordingly so that you are always in control, even when external events present themselves. And they always do. Now that is something you can bank on happening!

Now...The Pauline Project... Ok, let's be realistic here. To get a Pauline butt is literallly a 5 year project, and hard, consistent training. That's alot of deadlifting and squatting!

For me to stay focused, I need new goals. I need something with a date attached. Something tangible to work toward. So this year I'll be concentrating on the above goals I've set. But to achieve my ultimate goal, will take a number of timelines. Those timelines will all be part of The Pauline Project. I haven't quite worked out a deadline date for the first timeline, but should have one soon. There's still a little redefining required and adjustment.

Why Pauline? She rocks! Some might think her physique and technique a little extreme, but regardless of what you think of her, you can't mistake her results and her determination. She's all about action. She's a no BS type of gal. She walks the talk. And though I've seen quite a few fitness models and body building athletes, for me, she's the epitomy of the type of body I admire and aspire toward...lean, muscular, athletic, gritty, sexy, and still feminine.

For those of us who like muscular, apparently we are a minority. So be it!

Whatever Happens I Will Be Grateful...

2011-04-03T13:50:00.004+10:00

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus

For today's post about Gratitude, please hop on over to my other blog...Recipes in Richness.

Leaping from the Precipice...

2011-03-28T13:22:00.019+10:00

"Those who dance are called insane by those who don't hear the music."

- Eddie Vedder

The last week was a very up and down week. I only trained twice, coming off the back of a physically trying week prior, and an army weekend. Last week I saw some nights with little sleep due to a little girl who had a good share of illnesses and mishaps. So that didn't help the cause, and it left me feeling tired and a little out-of-sorts. When I have times like these, it's when I need to be most vigilant, because I leave myself open to complacency. And as I spoke of last week, I was still grappling with emotional issues which didn't see me doing my best in the nutritional stakes. Nothing major, but consistently silly things...like nuts! Sounds trivial I know, but when it comes down to it, it's not about the nuts, but says more about my headspace and where I've been sitting...on the edge of a precipice.

So I've been thinking about where I am right now on this strange rollercoaster-of-a-ride in my fitness journey. I've reached a very important point, and I think I just didn't know how important. Theoretically, I know what I want, but I don't think I realise the significance, or the implications of what I want as far as my fitness goals go. Actually, it's not just fitness. It's more than that. It's in other areas of my life, and I've realised that I want to shake off those self-doubts I've had ever since I hurt my back, and lost my confidence. It's time to take responsibility for the goals I've set myself.

So here I am. I've done a recent review on how far I've come in the last 4.5 years (in one of my recent posts), and I'm amazed and thrilled at how far I've come. So it's only recently occurred to me (like today), that maybe, just maybe, I'm afraid of losing some 'wet blankets' (as my friend Peter Barr puts it) that have kept me protected and safe for like, 10 years or so now.

I think I'm also afraid of what I'm truly capable of and what the end result will be. Do you know why I'm afraid? As it is, people think I'm just a little 'obsessed'...a little 'driven'...a little too focused. Especially when it comes to my body - staying healthy and keeping fit. I recall someone saying to me the other day..."you don't want to be too fit". Crikey! What the hell does that mean? And how can anyone be too fit???

So, if people think that of me now, and I decide to up the ante, and really go for what I want, then how will I be seen? Yep...a real freak. And also...can I do it? Yes, all of us want to be accepted at some level. I'm a bit of a loner and I revel in doing things on my own and in my own way. No holding hands with another to go to the toilet for this chicky-babe. And yet...at some level, I, like everyone, still feel the need for acceptance.

This is where I'm at. I know it's time to leap from the precipice. It's time to move on and realise fully what's possible for me.

So anyway...Liz set me a task, so we can then look at a maintenance program. I'm to get to 56.9kgs and finish strong. I'm still sitting above the 57kg's mark and it's been up and down in the last week. I know it's not going to take that much, but you know, what it is going to take is that last step before I'm ready mentally to realise my next lot of goals.

I took these photos yesterday, because I wanted to see what I looked like in this dress (first 2 photos above). I went out on Saturday with a dear friend. We had a great evening listening to some wonderful musicians whose genre is celtic acoustic guitar. I'm pictured above with Alesa Lajana whom I first came across about six years back at the Woodford Folk Festival. I was delighted to hear how much her music had evolved since that time, and my friend and I commented about the interesting lives of musicians and how their life experiences are often reflected in their music, and evolves, just as they evolve as people. Their music often becomes richer and deeper - a reflection of who they've become.

And I was thinking that people's lives are like that, and depending on where their particular genius lies, it is often a reflection of if and how its' evolved. Artists' music is a simple way to understand this concept. But what about the rest of us? Peter Barr talks about different types of intelligence in his book, 'Born Genius'. It was a real epiphany to discover what my intelligence is. I think that really understanding where your genius lies, gives you permission to be who you really are and make the most of your individual life's journey. It's good to no longer feel guilty about being me and I no longer have the need or desire to compare myself to others. In fact, I have a deeper appreciation of people's differences and admiration for those who have discovered what their intelligence is (whether on a conscious or subconscious level) and are utilising it to achieve richness and happiness in their lives.

The 7 types of Intelligence, as Peter describes in his book are:

Linguistic Intelligence

Logical - mathematcial intelligence

Bodily- kinaesthetic intelligence

Spatial intelligence

Musical intelligence

Interpersonal intelligence

Intrapersonal intelligence

I won't go into detail about them all, but as soon as I read the definition of Kinaesthetic Intelligence, I knew that was me. "People with this intelligence process knowledge through bodily sensations. They are often athletes, dancers or good at crafts such as sewing or woodworking. Consider Muhammid Ali, Michael Jordon, Mikhail Baryshnikov."

So for me, my life story, my evolvement has always been through my body...my health and my fitness. It has always been the one thing, the one link throughout my life, and when I've gone down different paths which have broken the link to this theme in my life, that's when I've lost my way and I've lost confidence. I stumbled upon this truth when just before I started my IBO program. I had this feeling, this intuition, that if I could reconnect with my health and fitness again, that all other areas of my life would fall into place. And that is exactly what has happened. Of course at that time I didn't have a name for it. It's nice to finally know.

So here I go....time to throw myself off that precipice.

Maintenance - the Ultimate Panacea?

2011-03-21T10:11:00.006+10:00

This is an excerpt from a recent email from Liz, after admitting that I'd had emotional couple of days and basically went a bit crazy with the food at my cousin's engagement party last weekend...

"Hi Kerry,

Now that you're getting closer to maintenance and adopting more skills to be able to stay at your 57kg for life, it's worth talking a bit more about emotional eating and what triggers it.

For every bout of eating that's not planned or alternatively, food that is eaten when you're not hungry, usually has its roots tied up in emotional eating. It's important to recognize that we're all emotional creatures and rather than to try to be hardcore and pretend it's not happening, it's probably better to realize that we are nearly 100% of the time, emotional before we are logical. In fact, we'll use logic to justify our emotions.

For example - "I bought the little black dress because it was on special, and who wouldn't take advantage of a special - it seems the perfect time to buy".

"I supersized my meal because heck, every little cent counts these days and I want to find value"

When we emotionally eat, there's usually always an "Activating" Event.
From this event stems a "Belief" and from your "A" and your "B", there is usually a consequence.

For example:

A - not do so well with your Wing Chun
B - feel inadequate and frustrated
C - eat to numb the frustration and take the edge off - feel shitty.

It's what happens between A and B that is the most important - learning to change our perception of the situation - it's clear from the rest of the email you're starting to do this anyway.

From here it may be learning about yourself and your own personal eating print, that frustration or feelings of inadequacy drive you towards food - so rather than letting an emotional situation hurt you twice, you need to take your frustrations out elsewhere - this is called a COUNTERING technique
- a behaviour used to replace a poor or destructive behaviour with a good healthy technique - and pivotal to your long term success. "

So basically, I'm back at MAINTENANCE stage. It's good to be here.

It's the ulimate goal and place to be, but as most of you probably know, it's also one of the most challenging places to be, because that means that you've reached this goal. Fu*k! What do I do now? I mean, now that I'm here, I can't just say..."well I'm looking good, let's go crazy and eat all the shit I want and do sweet f*#all!"

But in actual fact, that's what alot of us do. We've put in all those months of hard, consistent work, and we tell ourselves that going back to eating shit, just for a little while, is our reward. WTF? (sorry about the swearing...armying on the weekend tends to put me in a 'take-no-prisoners' kind of mood...and we swear alot).

I've been down this road before, and I've lost sight of my goals. And you know, that's okay. You're not going to be perfect all the time. But in order to make this a 'life-long' thing and to stay here, feeling awesome takes just as much work, but it takes a different mindset.

So, as you can tell, I still have my emotional struggles. That's just life. Just when you figure you've got your shit sorted, some other emotional trigger comes to the fore, and you're left scratching your head and asking yourself..."where did that just come from?"

Though I do admit that I've just got better at overcoming those little 'emotional episodes'. I still fall in that hole, but these days I'm in it for less time and the holes aren't as deep. I don't overindulge to the same extent and I can't eat the same volume of food, i.e. the degree of shit I put in my body is not as bad and I can't eat as much shit as I used to.

So anyway. I'm getting better each time I do this. That's always my goal...to be better each day. That's all I can ask of myself. I'm not perfect...I'm work in progress.

Now the pics.

Sometimes we can amaze ourselves at the progress we make. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the shower door. The lighting is different in there and it really shows more muscular definition. It was hard though to photograph, as when you have a whitewash of light, the muscles have less definition. So I don't look as lean in these photos, but it gives a fairly good idea.

I'm very happy with my upper body. It's easier to lean out. It's my lower body that I find harder to lose body fat. That's just genetics. Though it won't stop me working toward my goals. So from here, I'll be concentrating a little more on gaining muscle and more definition in and around my glutes and quads. Of course, I still want to be fairly lean, so it's going to be challenging. But I'm relishing the challenge, and regardless of the results, I'll still feel good.

As far as my abs, well it's harder to see at the bottom of my abs, purely because I have excess skin. I have to accept that, and the only way to see more definition is to a) increase muscle size, and b) remove the excess skin.

Now the bottom two pics...

More photos of my front garden. We've had alot of rain lately and yesterday afternoon I got in some gardening time and planted some perennials and added some compost and fertliser to give the soil a much-needed lift. I find gardening very therapeutic and I'm always plotting and planning my next lot of plants to improve the look of my garden. I love cottage gardens, and I love the 'rambling' look.

Today is a rest day, and I'm just enjoying 'being' in the present and enjoying peace and quiet, as hubby is at work (the office for a change), and Phil is at school. I've been looking forward to today just to have to myself. To enjoy my garden, the lovely cool weather, and listening to the birds and watching them. And when I finish this post, it will be time to get stuck into some domestic activity, so I can relax and enjoy a nice, clean, warm and inviting home.

And tomorrow, it's back to the gym.

Another Fitness Journey Milestone...

2011-03-16T16:18:00.019+10:00

**WARNING - LONG POST***

Here is where I am on my fitness journey...AWESOME and getting better! :P

As of the last couple of days, I've nearly hit my lean goal weight of 57kgs. I'm sitting on 57.15kgs and feeling...you guessed it...awesome!

I'm feeling confident about my body, and I'm wearing all those nice little 'short' items I've had tucked away for over a year. I'm just annoyed that summer is now coming to an end, and I will only fleetingly get to enjoy them before the colder weather is upon us. However...I'm really excited about what I'll be wearing come this summer. Who knows what another six months of hard work will yield. I'm so excited!

And I'm not just talking about what changes I can bring about aesthetically in the next 6 months, but from a 'strength and function' (as Liz puts it) perspective, I'm getting a little tipsy thinking about the possibilities.

So here's a summary of the past 4.5 years up until present. I didn't start my Ideal Bodies Online journey until July, 2008:

* 2006...Weight: 95kg's (just before Philomena was born). I was wearing a size 22 and borrowing clothes from a friend. I put on 20kgs in a space of about one month, due to fluid. I later discovered after the birth that I had a medical condition called Polyhydramnios. After Phil's birth, I eventually got back down to 75kgs (still overweight). I couldn't walk and went into hospital in a wheelchair. I had to wear blood clot stockings and have an electric bed because I was too big and swollen to move and was in a lot of pain. I also had separation of the Pubic Symphysis which added to the difficulty of moving. My daily exercise in the hospital, after Philomena was born, was using a walking frame to walk up and down the hall once a day. When I got home from the hospital, to have a shower, I had to use a step because it was painful to lift my leg into the shower/bath. I also had to use a sitting frame in the shower to be able to clean myself. My self confidence was at an all-time low.

* 2008...Weight: 75kg's...Confidence: still low. I cried alot of the time (usually at bed time), over my health and fitness that I had lost...As you can see, it would be 2 years before I finally decided to do something about my weight, and also my mounting health problems. My original back injury from 2000 (disc, due to incorrect technique in gym) hadn't improved, as I hadn't done anything about it. In fact, I discovered I had complications from a weak back...muscular imbalances, weak core, including a major imbalance on the RHS, especially my glutes. When I started my IBO program in July 2008, I had hip bursitis, and couldn't run at all. My muscles in and around the hip/pelvis were so weak, I was constantly having to have chiropractic adjustments to re-align the spine. My muscles were in constant tension and the lower back was sore alot of the time.

* January 2009...Weight: 58kg's (Depletion weight: 54.55kgs)...Confidence: High...I don't know why, but when I started my IBO program, I made the decision and I burnt the bridges and threw out all those excuses. I appied myself 110%, and I worked bloody hard! Between IBO and my physio, I overcame the bursitis and got stronger, and was able to jog for the first time in over 6 years (because of my back). It was back in December 2008, I decided I would join the AR. I spent the next 6 months training specifically for the physical challenge of joining the AA with the help of Kristin from IBO who wrote specific programs for me to be able to achieve this end. It was also around that time I became a Personal Success Mentor for IBO.

* June 2009...Weight: 57kg's...Confidence: High...I enlisted in the AA and in September 2009 was physically strong enough to do my basic training in Kapooka. I found the 4 weeks of training physically and emotionally challenging, but I made it through. I did however sustain a re-injury of the lower back in the last days of my basic training.

* January 2010...Weight: 61.5kg's...Confidence: Meh...I had finally joined Crossfit, in the endeavour to become ultra-fit and to help me improve my strength and endurance required for the AR. I believed (and still do), that Crossfitters are the fittest people on earth. They amaze and astound me with their strength, determination and endurance - their physical stamina. However, I soon discovered that physically, Crossfit left me physically exhausted most of the time, leaving me with little energy for anything else. I also found some particular exercises extremely difficult due to my back injury and muscular imbalances. I also became frustrated and wondered why I wasn't doing as well physically as others, and was confident at the time that it was only a matter of time, and that with persistence I would see improvements.

* March 2010...Weight: 60.5kg's...Confidence: Low...This is when I discovered that I had the beginnings of degeneration in the ball (humerus) of my RHS hip. I also had a small bone spur in the RHS scapula. I was told no running, jumping, or impacting movements. I was still confident I could overcome, and I'd be back at Crossfit in no time.

* May 2010...Weight: 61.9 kg's...Confidence: Low... At this point I made the hard decision to let go of Crossfit. I hadn't made any gains. In fact, I'd actually gone backwards physically. It was a difficult thing to admit that maybe Crossfit wasn't meant to be. My confidence was dropping more and more. I was bewildered and confused. My injuries (back, hip) were still haunting me and it was at this time I looked to a solution as to why I was going backward. I had to do something different.

* June 2010..Weight: 62.3kg's...Confidence: Low...I discover what's actually wrong with me, thanks to Liz Nelson, my exercise physiologist, who does a correct postural assessment for me and makes me aware of the source of my muscular imbalances (mostly through the RHS). It's from here that I begin to discover that all this time, I had been using my muscles incorrectly. No doubt, there had been alot of compensation going on since my original back injury, and that in order for me to move forward again, I would have to 'retrain' the muscles, and activate the correct muscles to work synergistically, to take me, as Liz says, from 'injury to performance'.

My assessment (original and developing) was: Lower lordosis of the spine, culminating in a weak core and glutes, leading to hip/pelvis instability, hence, over-reliance on lower back to take load; overdevelopment of traps and muscular tension in upper back/neck due to incorrect recruitment of upper traps. Since Liz's original assessment, through the tweaking of my program as I've become stronger, we also discovered that my hip flexors were doing more work than they should have, effectively cutting out the recruitment of my glute muscles.

Solution: work firstly on core stability and glute/ab co-ordination.

* 16th March 2011...Weight: 57.15kgs...Confidence: High...It wasn't until November that I really upped the ante. It was at this stage that I had Liz not only prescribe my exercise/rehab program, but to now include nutrition. So it's been in the last 4 months where I've made the most significant strength and function gains, as well as fat/weight loss, to bring me where I am today.

The most recent discovery, was that my hamstrings are dominant compared with my quads, which are being underutilised. Hence, the propensity to rely on my lower back, when my hamstrings became fatigued, and developing into lower back pain. So I had also been using the hamstrings, instead of using my glutes and quads to take the load. My hamstrings would tighten like hell and I had alot of trouble running with any type of intensity. Because the hammies were fatigued, the load would then immediately transfer to the lower back, so I'd be back where I'd started with lower back pain.

So at this moment, in my current program, we're still working on activitating and building glute strength, but Liz has prescribed exercises for me to now activate the glutes 'before' I activate my hamstrings. I'm also now working on building my quads, so that I'm spreading the workload more evenly and using the glutes, hamstrings and quads, and taking the load off the back. I am also doing more ab/stabilising work to continue building strength through the core, to support all these other areas.
Liz prescribes for me cardio (combo of steady state and HIIT) to get and stay lean, and also to improve my cardiovasclar fitness. In addition...weights/strength training (focusing on mainly compound exercises, i.e. squatting, deadlifting along with a little isolation work) and rehabilitation/activation work, ensuring 'correct form and technique' as the no.1 priority.

So what does that mean?

I'm the strongest and fittest I've been since before I injured my back in 2000!

- I currently have no lower back pain, and the tension has significantly reduced on RHS. So I'm starting to see improvements in the muscular imbalances on the RHS (which is where it is mainly prevalent).

- My hamstrings are no longer tight, and I can now run at a moderate pace without any subsequent tightness or lower back pain. My lower back and hamstring flexibility are starting to return.

- I can now run on hard surface at a moderate to fast pace without any subsequent hip stiffness, soreness or pain. I am now pain-free throughout both hips, especially in the RHS where my degeneration is.

- My pelvis has not dropped out significantly for at least 2 months, and I have only just visited my chiropractor for my normal monthly adjustment in the last week. Prior to that, I needed at least 2 adjustments per month to see me through the month.

- I haven't been to see my physio for at least 2 months. No need.

- I reached one of my 2011 goals last month, which is to do 40 push-ups at my BFA (basic fitness assessment) which is a sign that I've increased my core strength. I only improved my run time of 2.4kms by 4 seconds, but most importantly again - no hip pain or stiffness. And I'm still well under the time for females for my age group.

- Last Tuesday night was my first ever AR PT session that I have approached without one ounce of apprehension about injuring myself. It's the first time ever that I have not been stressed about what would be in store for me during an AR PT session. It was a fartlek (running) session, and I'd already done a leg workout and cardio session that morning. I was confident and I had no physical repercussions (apart from being fatigued the next morning for Zumba). This was a major milestone for me!

- I am now able to kick without any pain or restriction in the hip joints. I have increased flexibility and range of motion surrounding the hip joints. It's still tighter on the RHS, but alot better. I am also experiencing less restriction on the RHS, especially along the ITB.

- I have experienced a significant decrease in tension and neck/shoulder pain, improving my ability to train in Wing Chun, which is upper body dominant. This has been achieved by learning to activate the lower traps/upper back and relax the upper traps.

I cannot begin to explain what an epiphany this is.

I'm still working on the imbalances, but I've come a long way. And I'm moving forward with confidence.

I couldn't have achieved all of this without the help of certain people in my life. I believe that in order to progress, it's important that you find the right people to help you achieve your goals. And if you experience a stalemate in your journey, don't give up. Keep looking until you find the right person and/or the right solution for you, because your situation can change as you progress (or regress). I've always had the fortune of finding the best people to help me. People who have walked the talk and who have the knowledge, passion and skills to take me from where I am to where I want to be.

I've always found throughout my life and I'm still finding now, more than ever that, 'when the student is ready, the teacher will appear'.

"Don't Waste Your Potential"

2011-03-09T15:49:00.012+10:00

"The greatest waste in the world is the

difference between what we are and what we could become."

- Ben Herbster

Lately, I've been reflecting on where I am today, where I was a few years back, and how I arrived.

I didn't arrive by accident. First I dreamed of the possibilities, then I drew up a plan of soughts (because a few years ago, I didn't really know where to start). I then systematically looked for solutions, recruiting the right people to help me carry out my plan, and then I put in the ACTION.

It took a while to find the right balance. I would make a plan, set a goal, reach that goal, and in the process discover what worked and what didn't. I kept what worked and I discarded the rest. I would then reset the goal, based on my previous findings and experience, and plan accordingly. All the while, listening to what my body was telling me. Some times it was harder to listen (to my body) than others. But when you truly desire change, your willingness knows no bounds.

I've taken the title of today's post from Craig Harper's new book, 'Stop F*cking Around'. It's actually a short book and very simple in its' message. But the more I read it, the more I glean from it. Today, I wanted to talk about potential. Sometimes I loathe that word, because it can be used as an excuse to why people haven't achieved what they've wanted from life.

Not everyone wants to achieve great things, though great things can mean different things to different people. My great isn't necessarily your great. It's a matter of perspective, and being honest about what you want from life, and then going about striving for what it is that you want. It's a matter of making the plan, then putting in the ACTION, and doing it over and over, until. It's about committing yourself to what you want, and persisting. It's not always smooth sailing. There will be challenges and road blocks along the way, but if you desire change, you will find your way back to the right path for you.

Here's an excerpt from Craig's book. The chapter is, 'Principle 25: Don't Die with the Music Still in You'...

"From a practical changing-your-life perspective, it doesn't matter how young, old, fat, fit, tall, small, genetically gifted, intelligent, qualified, skilled, experienced or inherently talented you are. All that matters in terms of creating lasting change is what you do with what you've been given.

Explore and exploit what you've got.

You can't change your genetics but you can change how you use them. You can't change your chronological age but you can change what you do at your age. You can't change other people but you can change how you behave and react around them. You can't alter your level of natural ability but you can determine how much of that ability you use. You can't change much of what happens to you or around you but you can change the way you react, cope and manage. You can't change your past but you can change the way you let it influence and impact on your present and your future.

Don't allow your self-limited, over-thinking, fearful mind to stand between you and your best life. You are good enough, talented enough, courageous enough and definitely worth it."

"You are definitely worth it!"...Amen to that sister!

I say this, because I have a few friends and people who tell me that they feel less than who and what they should be, and I wonder why. I see the wonderful talents and gifts they have and the potential for what their lives could be, if they were only courageous enough to commit to their dreams and put in persistent, consistent action to achieve them.

Sometimes, it's just the fact that we've begun working towards our dreams and goals that can make the difference between being happy or not. You see, it's not about arriving, it's all about the journey. Somehow, not just by starting but persisting in our endeavours, a multitude of possibilites begin to appear in our lives and that's when life truly becomes magical.

Our confidence grows as we see that we...yes we created the possibilities, and that's when we get excited about our lives and that our lives are truly successful - whatever success means to us individually. When we use our latent potential to transform our lives from what they are, to what they would become, it's pure bliss. Who needs alcohol or drugs when life is your drug?

And no, our lives are never going to be perfect, but who cares? It's the imperfections...our imperfections...the mistakes and the failures, that make it the more interesting don't you think? It's what makes a great story...your story! Be proud of it.

So get off your arse and stop wasting your potential (if you haven't already)! And if you don't like the story you've created (your past), then go out and create a new story!

VLOG...What I Do When Nobody's Looking...

2011-03-03T13:14:00.006+10:00

Most of the time I'm guarded about putting the 'real me' out there. But today I'm feeling AWESOME!

So I thought I'd share with you what I do when nobody is looking. :P

* BTW...this post was inspired by Frankie.

Mixing It Up

2011-03-02T13:45:00.004+10:00

We all know the saying...'Variety is the Spice of Life'. I couldn't agree more. But have you considered variety when it comes to your exercise and your nutrition?

I was actually thinking about this (not very long though) during Zumba this morning. And reading Liz' recent post, also got me thinking about it, as someone said..."mixing-it-up".

This period of my training and fitness has been a very different one for me. It's one that I've experienced just about nil pain. I've felt stronger and felt my technique improve. I'm feeling really good and feeling lean, yet my nutrition is more varied and more exciting. I'm gaining more clarity on everything in my life and I'm feeling mentally sharper. I'm also much more relaxed. Still achieving alot, yet feeling more relaxed.

I've put this down to what I'm doing currently. My training is so much more varied these days and I've said before, it's become more intuitive. And it's working! Wow! Awesome!

My training regime kinda looks like this...strength training + cardio 4 days a week, and cardio on the 5th day + martial arts training 1-2 times per week (when I can fit it in). Now it seems pretty boring, but in actual fact I'm doing...strength training; cycling; cross-trainer; treadmill; Zumba. Some weeks the mix sees me doing rowing, pilates; boxing; bodybalance; etc. And the great part is, that I can mix and match my cardio with strength training, depending on what's happening in my life, i.e. army, recovery, holidays, etc.

So at the moment I'm really loving the variety with my training. It keeps me fresh, and on days like Wednesdays where I've had to work late the night before, the Zumba class is just what I need to get motivated and lift my spirits and put me in the g-r-r-o-o-o-v-e.

And something most people don't realise is, that with variety you're moving your body differently. You're using different muscles and getting stronger and progressing in ways you don't realise. And they can be little things which might be quite subtle, that over time, can make a huge difference to your overall performance and increase your skill sets.

For instance...doing Zumba each week, I've become alot more relaxed and less stiff when I move my body and I've become better co-ordinated, especially with my feet...lol... I've just started doing single leg romanian deadlifts, and I've found that my balance is improving.

And as far as nutrition, I'm finding it much easier to lean out when I'm being disciplined with my food, whilst still enjoying variety in what I eat (even though I do tend to eat the same things over and over).

So why not look at doing things a bit differently and 'mixing-it-up'? You might feel a little out of place and uncomfortable to begin with, but as you do this more and more, you'll find that you'll actually pick up new things much easier and you'll enjoy your exercise alot more. Who said that exercise has to be boring?

The Cost of Being Exceptional...

2011-02-24T12:30:00.008+10:00

"If you want to BE DIFFERENT..DO DIFFERENT."

- Craig Harper

Thanks to Hannah-Lee for the introducing me to Larissa Reis.

Since I've returned from my birthday week and weekend celebrations, and from attending Craig Harper's workshop, things have been cruising along nicely. But, in reality, what I need to do is take things up a notch or two. What I was hoping for was all manner of signs from the universe to suddenly align and I would experience that moment...that sudden epiphany.

Of course, that hasn't happened. Admittedly it did happen late last year and I built up some serious momentum with my training right through Christmas and into the New Year, and was happy with the results.

However, it's been a little bit more difficult to resurrect that same momentum since my recovery period a few weeks ago now. I also knew that once I started back at work, that it would change the way I trained, and would be a matter of readjusting to a new, and even more intuitive training schedule, based around going back to work, and also, new and recent changes based around family.

This week I thought I could start to build some new momentum again, since having a new training program. But I've been fighting some type of infection, which has had me feeling really off and experiencing some light-headedness, feeling strangely similar to my previous BPV (benign positional vertigo) bouts. Nothing serious, just annoying and hindering me from really getting into my training program. I've just had to accept it for what it is and work on ridding myself of whatever it is that's trying to take a hold, and start strong at the beginning of next week. I managed to get in a good training session yesterday, but by last night was feeling rather off once again.

So I admit that I've reached a place where I've been feeling great (apart from this week's small gliche) and starting to feel lean again. I've just become comfortable where I'm at. I'm happy to be here right now.

But you know, I've had that conversation recently with my coach and for the first time since attending CH's workshop, I'm now starting to really think about what it is that I want from my training and fitness journey, and the goals I set at the start of the year.

Do you know what I want? I want to do me...do Kerry, and do Kerry exceptionally!

So the thing is, I have another 2kg's to hit my goal weight of 57kg's. My goal is to get lean and stay lean, all year round. That is goal numero uno. I'm still working on my core strength and stability and rehab - that's a given and that's non-negotiable and will never change.

My other goals are intertwined. I want to build particular muscles, not just because they need development from an 'aesthetic' point of view, but also because in order for me to increase my strength and endurance, my muscles need to work synergistically and be 'functional'. I can't improve my performance if my muscles are not working correctly. It's a slower process, but I'm building better and more solid foundations.

So what really motivates me is my desire to have a great set of legs and a great butt! For some, this might sound shallow. But the reality is, in order to achieve what I want will take alot of hard and consistent training in the gym. And not months, but years of hard work. And what most people fail to realise is that being lean is mostly about nutrition. It takes alot of discipline to get and stay lean, and even though training is really important, the road to exceptional means watching every thing you put into your mouth. It's a simple concept to grasp, but the reality is the harder to apply.

You know, I have no aspirations to do a body building comp, even though I have many friends and acquaintances in that fitness genre. But the one thing that I love about the people in the industry is their work ethic. You don't get to look like the Pauline Nordin's, the Larissa Reis's of the world without a lot of hard work. It's not an easy road and takes alot of dedication.

And even though you see many people in the gym who aspire to be fit, lean and toned, it takes a special kind of obsession to reach the heights of those in the BB industry. There are many people who are extremely fit, but to also 'look' exceptional takes that much more work and discipline, and that's why I have such respect for those in the industry.

If you take a look around, being lean and being muscular is not the norm. You have to be exceptional.

Now...I'll never be a Pauline Nordin or Larissa Reis. I'm not fitness model material. I'm not 22, I'm 42. I don't want to be them. That would be an exercise in futility. To me, they are visual motivational aids.

However, I do want to be the very best me I can be, and use the potential I have, even with the physcial limitations I have.

So, to 'be exceptional', I have to 'do exceptional'. The question is...what's the cost, and am I willing to pay the price?

Expecting Perfection = Exercise in Futility

2011-02-21T10:13:00.011+10:00

"Strength is taking a look at where you are and, from there, getting to where you want to be, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes to get there."

My weekend was an opportunity to learn some valuable lessons and to remind myself that some lessons are harder to master than others.

Being in the AR has provided some invaluable lessons, of which many I've learnt through the continual exposure to 'out of my comfort zone' experiences. Just when you think you've finally worked it out and have got the hang of how things work, there will inevitably be moments when this false sense of security will be shattered.

But I've worked out that it's not so much the culture of the AA, because I've been in long enough to understand it. It was and is, my decision to expose myself to an environment where 'being comfortable' is for babies. Regardless of the challenges, if you want to make progress as a person, and maintain your sanity, you need to learn how to respond differently to the external stuff that is being thrown at you.

In a nutshell, and we've heard this before..."It's not what happens to us - it's how we respond to what happens."

It's hard for me to accept that in the AA we constantly f*ck up, because we are constantly learning and applying that knowledge in an environment where decisions need to be made quickly.

And what I've discovered from those who have been around a bit longer in the game, is that it's actually pretty normal and that it's actually okay to f*ck up. It's okay because they're not going to let you fail. They're just going to allow you to be exposed to (certain) situations over and over again until you get it! So I have to overcome this fear of not getting things right the first time...or the second time...or..or... Obviously, there are some situations where you can't f*ck up - like when it comes to safety. But you get the jist of what I'm saying.

But in general (and it's harder in reality), it's about accepting that some things we're not the best at, and it will take time to get better at it.

Why am I I telling you this?

I think sometimes that as we get older, we avoid doing things and gaining more experiences, because there's this expectation that we should have it all worked out and have the answers and be wise and all-knowing. But then, we get that confused with doing everything right all the time, and that's not what experience is all about. Experience requires alot of mistakes in order to learn and to grow. And I think as we get older that we fear being seen as someone who makes alot of mistakes, so we deliberately avoid doing different things which put us out of our comfort zone, and we inevitably lose opportunities to make new discoveries and learn valuable skills.

We want to be able to tell people that we're good at what we do. We want to appear from the outside, that we've got our shit together and we're pretty hot shit! But the reality is, if we want to make progress, then we're going to be looking silly and making stupid mistakes...alot.

So the question is...

Do we want to look cool all the time and not make mistakes and miss out on valuable experiences and the opportunity to grow in skill and as a person?

or...

Do we want to live a life being exceptional, by learning to let go; being less than than perfect; knowing very well that we're going to make lots of mistake and look silly alot in order to grow, and be accepting of that?

* P.S. On a different note - on the weekend, I reached one of my 2011 AR fitness test goals of 40 push-ups, and wiped 4 seconds off my running time - all with little sleep and fatigued legs! Sometimes there are positives in our experiences. We just need to look for them. :)

Loving How I'm Feeling Right Now...

2011-02-16T12:06:00.006+10:00

Currently, I'm sitting at 59.45kgs. I'm 2.45kgs off my goal weight, and I haven't set a date yet for that to happen by, because I haven't made the decision. That's what I now need to do.

In spite of that, I'm feeling the best I've felt for 12 months! I think I'm definitely in a better place than I was 12 months ago (I had started Crossfit). Not only am I feeling better energy-wise, but I feel confident again about how I'm looking from an aesthetic point of view, i.e. leaner. And also, the most significant change is that from a physiological perspective, my body is alot stronger and I'm not experiencing all the ailments I was experiencing because of my hip injury. So I'm stronger through the hip/pelvis region and my core stability has improved, as well as I've had increased strength gains in my lower back and glutes.

I have still a long way to go, but I'm happy with how far I've come.

Last Friday, I did something I don't do that often. I went clothes shopping in Maroochydore. Lots of surf shops! I love surf gear. I splurged and bought my first pair of Rusty shorts (photo of me in them in my last post with Nicole and Craig Harper). They're so comfortable. I also bought a perfect fitting pair of little boardies (Baku) to wear with my new Jets monokini. Below is a pic of the style which is very close, though pattern is completely different. Another splurge, and at half-price, I couldn't resist. I've been looking for the right ones for a long time. The back is completely exposed with a tie around the neck and across the back, and there's only a slight cut on both sides into my abs so it shows my muscles coming through, but hides nicely the loose skin that sits at the bottom of my abs, and keeps everything nicely tucked in. I'm not usually one for labels, but I'm sick of buying cheap shit that doesn't last and doesn't look as good on. Of course, I still buy nice little bargains if they look nice on. I love some of Supre's stuff, especially their tops.

Anyhoos...time to go. Lots to do. My apologies for the bedraggled face, but I worked last night, so looking a bit pasty. Oh...another great Zumba class was had this morning, but sadly, not Kath and Kim style. :)

Extended Birthday Celebrations

2011-02-14T12:57:00.005+10:00

Nicole, Craig Harper & Me - Maroochydore

Leisa, Lee-Ann & Me at Cactus Jacks

Little Miss Phil in her chinese princess get-up

Wendy House (nee Swansson) & Me

Finally, my birthday celebrations are over, and I can begin to concentrate again on my training and (especially) nutrition. Before Friday I finally got in under 59kgs (just). I think it will take me a good week to get back under. Though I was surprised how little I put on over the three days, so maybe it won't take as long as I think.

Last week which officially was my birthday on 3rd February, I met up with Liz for a review of where I was at in my training and to update my program, after coming out of a recovery period which took 3 weeks! Geez! Did I do a good job of smashing myself or what? It kinda took me by surprise. But being the 'all or nothing' kinda gal, I suppose it shouldn't (come as a surprise).

Liz was happy with my progress (I think). Especially in relation to me activating certain muscles, especiallly the glutes. A definite improvement in that area. So now that I've got those firing better, it seems that I now need to work on other areas, in addition to continuing to improve the activation and strengthening of the glutes.

We've ascertained that I'm very hamstring and lower back dominant, hence my hammies and lower back getting very sore and tight when I'm very fatigued. So in this program I'm concentrating heavily on activating the glutes, before recruiting my hamstrings, and relying on my glutes more. I'll also be working on using my quads more too, which don't get stimulated enough due to the dominance of my hamstrings. So I'm quite excited, because I'd love to have bigger quads and have what bodybuilders call a 'sweep'. Eek...I think that's right??? And of course, to use my muscles correctly to improve my overall strength and performance is right up there with my priorities.

Meriza Deguzman

On Friday (4th Feb), it was dinner with my school friends at Cactus Jack at Logan Hyperdome. Wendy came a bit later, and Terasa could only drop in for 5mins due to family health concerns, so it was a little quieter than usual. But life happens, and we ended up skipping the movies, and having a late coffee with Wendy instead, which was lovely.

Oh...before dinner on the Friday, I did coffee and lunch (just me) with Wendy. I haven't seen her for awhile and she was down from Bauple, so we took the opportunity to have a good chin wag. She gave me some great advice on raising girls too. Wendy has made some life changing decisions in the last couple of years and she's rediscovering herself in a big way! I've lent her a couple of books recently, of which one was Fatitude by Craig Harper. She said it had quite a significant effect on her and she started putting things into action.

I find it fascinating how just the little things we do can have such a profound effect on people.

Wendy said that in one of the books I lent her, she found a bookmark which I'd scribbled the website url for Sweet Poison, in relation to the perils of sugar. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Wendy had looked up the site, bought both books and immediately began to apply the recommendations in the second book. She, in a very short period of time lost 10kgs, just by making a small, but significant change to her diet! I was delighted to see how excited she was and what discoveries she had made about her health and what she was capable of achieving through applied knowledge.

And lastly...the weekend just gone, AW and I headed up to Maroochydore on Friday and stayed at Novotel Twin Waters. The weather was glorious, and we managed to get in a quick swim in the surf in the afternoon. We had dinner at the resort, and then I choofed off to have coffee with CH and Nicole. I was surprised to find that hardly anyone showed up, but then again, I realised that people were probably travelling from some distance too. It was nice though to be able to chat in an informal and relaxed atmosphere.

Saturday saw me attending Craig Harper's workshop, 'Stop F*cking Around'. The idea was that it would help me refocus after my recovery and give me some needed inspiration to move me towards my ultimate goal. I needed some 'headspace' therapy in big picture thinking.

I wasn't there about the exercise or nutrition, and it was stuff I knew already. Admittedly, it didn't have the desired effect I was looking for. However, surprisingly it helped me to reflect on other areas of my life and helped clarify what I need to do in those areas, which the byproduct will be more time to concentrate on my training fitness. It did also bring to light areas which I've been in denial about, and that I still need to be a bit more brutal about where and how I spend my time and what are truly my priorities.

And also, the bonus of just a really relaxed weekend of just going with the flow and spending some quality time with AW was just so welcomed. My only regret was that I couldn't spend more time at the beach, though I did manage to fit in a quick swim after the workshop on Saturday at Maroochydore. The weather was spectacular and the waves were calling to me all day, in that conference room overlooking the water. I just had to get in a swim! A refreshing end to a good day.

Saturday night we went to Mooloolaba for dinner, and I had a delicious pizza at some italian restaurant on the esplanade. Sunday we checked out and headed up to Montville and AW and I parked ourselves at Poets Corner for the next three hours. So it was coffee and morning tea over the paper and me reading CH's book, surprisingly titled 'Stop F*cking Around' and reviewing my notes, doing alot of contemplation and making a start to my action plan. We then stayed for lunch, had a bit of wander through the shops, bought some little things for Philomena and headed off again.

AW dropped me off at my Leisa's place in Sandgate where she was having a 'homeware' party, so caught up with the girls again. AW then headed off to do his 'Chocolat' class at Deagon, which was his chrissy present.

The weekend was topped off with picking up Philomena from my besties place (Cheryl). She had had an adventurous weekend herself, as they'd been in Toowoomba over the weekend, and had spent Sunday in Grantham, helping clean mud out of people's houses and doing a bit of visiting. Philomena had a ball, kept everyone entertained and her most memorable recollection of the day was that 'everyone was living in their sheds, and the chooks kept coming in and out as they pleased, because they had no houses (she was talking about the chooks...not the people... :P)'.

Phew! What a weekend!

Today it was back to my new program, and I love starting the week with GoCycle with the awesome Craig. This morning though, I was still feeling a little seedy from the 'not-so-clean' food, and spent alot of the time wondering whether I was going to throw up. I'd jogged to the gym before the cycle class and pushed myself pretty hard. I ended up burning 397 calories in 51mins (less warm-up), which is a record for me! Then it was a 5 min break before throwing some weights around in the gym, and I then walked home. What an awesome start to the week!

So there you have it. If you're wondering about Little Miss Phil's picky, I just threw that one it cause she's cute. :)

Zumba...Kath & Kim Style

2011-02-09T21:05:00.006+10:00

"That's nice, that's different, that's unusual"
- pron. That's ny-oice, that's different, that's un-ewes-yewl

( from Kath and Kim website)

I have to say that today Zumba was AWESOME!

We have the enigmatic Rachael doing all Zumba classes at Go Health Beenleigh, and we had at least 50 women doing Zumba this morning. The atmosphere was electric and there was alot of gyration and woot-woots going on. Rachael just sold her dance school and is now doing Zumba full-time. She's awesome, and I love doing her classes!

What I loved about this mornings class was that not only was it packed and full of energy, but I loved the individuality that was on show. Especially in what people wear. It gets whackier every time I go, and I just shake my head sometimes and wonder 'what the hell were they thinking?'!

But you know, I think it's great! There's definitely some gals who have some confidence!

Okay...the picture above was pretty close to what one woman wore to Zumba. The black bra (not sports bra); shorts...but just imagine aqua blue cotton shorts (firmly fitting!)similar style to the old terry towelling shorts, but without a pile, and black tights. Now this woman was quite voluptuous. Very interesting....

Now the other stand out was a young woman of about 20 or slightly younger wearing bright pink, thin, cotton tights and wearing black undies. She had a yellow sleeveless t-shirt and...you guessed it (as the above photo sought of gives away)...she was wearing long socks over her tights. I can't remember the colour, but it was bright! And she was up front of the class, and after each music segment, her ass would hang out over her tights and she had to keep pulling them up...hilarious (though I didn't laugh of course)!

There are many interesting sights at the gym, and I'm quite enjoying the variety of people we get at our gym. It's just so entertaining!