Reflecting...3 Years On...



Me holding a pair of Sai - 16th January, 2009

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."

- Confucious

Tomorrow, 3 years ago I achieved a major goal. 

You would probably say that you already know what that goal was, and that in a nutshell I reached my goal of losing weight and regaining my fitness at the age of 40.  And that was my goal...to be 'Fit-and-Fab-at-40'.    And I did it!  Pretty simple really.  Lots of people do it.

However as we all know, achieving goals isn't just about the 'physical goal' of what we see on the outside.  You and I both know that achieving goals is about the change that happens and the person you become through that process of striving to achieve your goal.  It's about what happens to you on the inside...inside your head and inside your heart.

It's also about what happens around you.

It still amazes me how, that once we make a decision and we truly commit, what the universe provides for you in ways which you never anticipate in the way of doors opening, and opportunities presenting themselves.

I count my blessings often when I reflect on where I was 4 years ago, living in quiet desperation.  Overweight, debilitated, unhappy and feeling hopeless.  My saving grace would come in the form of a little girl, whom I decided, was the best reason to commit to change and become the role model I dreamt of being.  Thank you to my darling girl, Philomena for giving me a reason to change.

The best part that came from all of this, after a great period of uncertainty in my life where I went through the loss of my martial arts club and those treasured friendships; my hopes and dreams and then loss of home, and business failure - trying to find my place in the world again and that passion I'd felt as a martial artist, was my husband telling me that it was nice to have 'the old Kerry' back.  That old Kerry who was strong, determined, confident and lived life with passion.

So here I am. 

I may be the old Kerry in persona, but I'm definitely a new, upgraded Kerry with a body that tells me that I'm no longer 20yrs old, but over 40 now.  Life is now about achieving my physical goals with a different approach.

I would have to say that my biggest achievement is overcoming my injuries.  How proud of myself, that I have defied what would stop most people from having an active and healthy life in the form of a back (disc) injury.  Many give up.  But I believe that you have to exhaust all avenues and search for solutions and the right people to help you.  That is what I did and I continue to do.  And I worked hard...I still work hard.  Once I made that decision, I did all my rehabilitation exercises without fail.  I still do. 

That is why, three years on, I'm stronger, I'm fitter and I'm in better shape than I was back then.  And I'll continue to get stronger, fitter and better.  It's such a liberating state of body and mind to know that I am physically able to do just about anything I choose to do (within the confines of my injuries).

Today, 15th January, 2012,  I'm about 2kgs over my normal weight back in 2009 (58kgs), pre-depletion.  At 58kgs in 2009 I didn't look half as lean as I do at 58kgs, three years on.  That excites me!  

My before & After Shots over
During IBO Program - Start Prog.1(July 2008), Finish Prog.1, Finish Prog 2 (Jan 2009) - Over a 6 month period

I'm proud to have achieved something I always wanted to do, but never did.  Of being in the Australian Army (Reserves) and the hard work I did in getting my body in shape to enlist and then complete my basic training.  The whole process has been one of the most challenging...physically and emotionally, that I've ever encountered.  It (Australian Army) still continues to challenge me in its' ability to constantly throw me curve balls, humble me, and regularly throw me out of my comfort zone.   Some days I wonder why the hell I do this.  But it makes me appreciate the simpler things in life and how wonderful my life is.  Especially when I'm sleeping out under the stars on hard ground with only a sleeping bag and thin piece of plastic to protect me from the elements, and I haven't showered for days.   It's times like these I count my blessings.

One of my goals is to do another photo shoot.  However, it's still another two or so years away.  That's just more time to work on building muscle and keeping lean.  I'm curious to see what five years of training is going to look like, not just from an aesthetic point of view, but from a strength and fitness point of view.  Of course, the pics must still be artistic.  It's just trying to find the person that can get the shots I want and understand what I want to achieve.  I've got lots of ideas and I look forward to one day being able to bring those photographic ideas to fruition.

Me with my coach, Liz Nelson in April 2011.
This is at my leanest and how I want to maintain 12 mths of the year.
I managed to maintain this up until about September 2011.

Me (and Philomena) on Christmas Eve 2011

There's just one other thing.  I must admit that the hunger I had when I lost that initial weight in 2009 is not there.  It's not that I've grown complacent.  It's just that I've grown content.  But in that contentedness there's always the realisation that in order to continue to make progress and maintain that leanness that I strive for I must remain vigilant and work hard at being disciplined. 


Today there is more balance and acceptance in my life as I strive for my goals.


Life is good...life is great...and it just gets better!