Could This be the End of 'No Ordinary Moments'?

“Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness."

 

- Lord Edward Stanley

The Paradigm Shift…

Today as I write this, it's Monday 5^th March, 2012.  A paradigm shift is happening and I know now what I need to do - what feels right for my life at this point in time. 

I’m just not sure yet where to begin.  This morning I’m suffering from overthinking.  An annoying tendency I have which rears its’ ugly head every so often.  So for me, the best way to stop overthinking and begin doing, is to put it into words and usually what happens during this process is that the pieces of the puzzle and all those thoughts floating and swimming around in my head, begin to make sense and I can then see some pattern, so that order begins to emerge.

Now I’m sounding like a broken record.  My blog is all about ‘health and fitness’, but my posts of the last six months, even though touching on this, haven’t been definitive in regard to specifics of my fitness journey, as they originally began nearly three years ago.  I have no further (fitness) insights to share with you, because I’ve reached the end of that particular road. 

I am about to embark on another slightly different road. Health and fitness is still part of that, but it becomes only one part of the equation.  Its’ importance hasn’t changed, however, but how I ‘do’ health and fitness has…is changing.  I can see clearly now how it is a part, no less important, of the bigger picture of life.

I remember the first shift.   I embarked on my Ideal Bodies Online journey back in July 2008…major shift.  I was not in a good place.  Going forward just a little to January 2009, life had changed for the better and I grabbed it with everything I had.  Doors opened and I had a new body; new confidence (my old self); increased health and fitness; new plans and limitless opportunity.  My learning curve grew exponentially and in that process I learned a lot about myself and what I was capable of.

In three-and-a-half years I’ve turned my life around.  I made a promise never to return to that period before July 2008, and I haven’t.  It hasn’t been all smooth sailing, but on the whole I’ve maintained around the same weight and I’ve definitely become fitter and stronger.  For me, it’s all about being better than I was yesterday, and I am proud to say that with each day, I’m getting better (well…not every day).  Some days of course you may take a step or two back, and some days you take a step or two forward.  I’m fortunate to say that there have been more days that I’ve gone forward than back, so I’m still out in front and making progress.

My accomplishments since embarking on my ‘Fit-and-Fab-at-40’ journey have been:

-          Losing around 15kgs to sit on a weight range of 58-60kgs to culminate just before my 40^th birthday with a 12% body fat on the day of my photo shoot in January 2009.

-          Joining the Australian Army in June 2009 at the age of 40.  I embarked on a 12 month training program written by Kristin Gleeson of IBO, to prepare me for the rigours of Basic Training, taking into account my back injury.

-          Helping others on their health and fitness journey as a personal mentor for IBO which I finished up in 2010.

-          Overcoming hip bursitis and being able to run again after approx. 5-8 years being unable to run.

-          Overcoming a herniated disc injury which had plagued me since 2000 (when I originally injured my back) through exercise and a lot of rehabilitation work.  Firstly through IBO and then specific rehabilitation, encompassing core strength and stability work with exercise physiologist, Liz Nelson.  The significance of this particular achievement is signficant, given the accompanying muscular and skeletal imbalances and injuries which I’ve sustained as complications of having a back injury.

-          Joining and training in Crossfit for 6 months of 2010.  This had been a goal of mine since becoming fitter and I saw this as an opportunity to ramp up my fitness.  However, I had to concede that Crossfit became detrimental to my fitness because of existing injuries and my underlying incorrect muscular activation issues.  I also discovered at this time that I had a bone spur and beginnings of hip degeneration in the RHS hip ball and socket.

-          Becoming educated as to what good nutrition is and what works best for me.  I have to admit the ‘what works best for me’ is still up for contention, and I’m at this very moment rethinking that part of nutrition.   Or moreso, taking this a step further.  A reason for me rethinking is tied up in the way I view or ‘do food’.  It’s something I’m constantly learning about and you could say that it’s evolved and still is evolving.  I will let you in on that when I feel more comfortable that I won’t be judged for it. The proof will be in the pudding, so to speak.  I would prefer to show you with results rather than with cheap talk.

The physical accomplishments are always easier to measure, but as we all know, it’s the other accomplishments that you can’t necessarily see by looking which have the most profound effect on our lives.

I’m talking mainly about the self confidence that comes from overcoming challenges.  This and the happiness and aura that you exude is exponential in its’ effect on not only your family and friends, but people you come into contact with daily.

It’s the clarity you get about your life and the hope and excitement you have about your future, because it’s so full of possibility.  Life then becomes exciting because you are no longer a bystander but a full participant - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

It also becomes about focus…goal driven focus.  You become determined and persistent in your endeavours.

Back to paradigm shifts…and focus.

For three-and-a-half years I have been ‘on’. I flicked a switch back in July 2008 and my focus was like tunnel-vision.  I trained hard, six days a week and I followed my IBO program (I did four programs in a row) 100%!  Nothing could deter me from reaching my goals and the old Kerry was back!

For three-and-a-half years I’ve weighed not only myself on a daily basis (though I’m honest when I say it has never really done my head in too much.  I’ve looked at it as a way to monitor patterns rather than punish or reward myself) but I’ve weighed my food on and off.  I’ve tracked the calories consumed and the macro-nutrient break-up of my nutrition to ensure I’ve had the right balance of protein, fats and carbs.  I’ve tracked my BPM via HRM and calories expended in conjunction with calories consumed through nutrition via CalorieKing to ensure that I had a caloric deficit when my goal has been weight loss.  I’ve learnt bucket-loads in the process.

I’ve trained hard and I’ve trained intensely and even as recently as a couple of weeks ago my goal for 2012 was to train intensely and consistently for 12 months.  The same way and with the same intensity I have been for the majority of the three years.  For me, it’s been all or nothing. That is about to change.

Fellow health enthusiasts and bloggers…it’s time to turn that switch off and change the light bulb!

Paradigm shift…I’m fuckin’ tired!

I’m tired of being tired and overtraining (my fault entirely).   In the last month, all of a sudden I’m racking up small, niggly injuries.  Something is up.  At one stage only recently I couldn’t stomach the thought of rocking up to the gym.  Ummm… ***Danger! Danger! Proceed at your peril!***.  Is this a tap on the shoulder or what?  I’ve had enough of those to take notice.  If there’s anything I’ve learnt, it’s to listen to what my body and intuition is telling me, once I’ve ruled out the possibility that I’m just piking.

There are more dimensions to life than purely health and fitness, but

without those, there a fewer options….

Please understand - this isn’t about blaming anyone or even myself.  I think it’s a natural consequence and part of my health, fitness, and life journey.  It’s a kind of fork in the road.  A place where I stop and ask myself…”Do I continue along this path, or do I take another?”

I’m tired of having to weigh my food and myself. I’m tired of cooking separate meals for myself, my husband and my daughter and not being able to sit down at dinner all at the same time and enjoy dinners as a family.  I’m tired of thinking about cheat meals, free meals, low-carb, low-fat, blah..blah…blah! 

Of course, that’s not to say that if you’re beginning your weight loss journey that you don’t necessarily have to be doing those things.  Not forever anyway –just until you have your weight and nutrition under control and you’ve maintained for a good period of time.  I had to do it first to learn what I know now.  I’m just a lot further along the road, and the process no longer suits my purpose.  That’s it – nothing more or nothing less.

I’m not belittling what’s required at the start of an individuals’ journey.  I’m just taking the next step toward what I deem as progress.

I’m tired of the fact that my workouts take so much time out of my day that I don’t get to do other things in my life because it’s not just the workout, it’s the fallout – pissed off because I don’t have the energy to do what other things I want or need to do in my life on any given day. 

I think I’ve well and truly proven myself.  Not only to others, but to myself.  It’s time to stop trying to prove to myself what is apparent to everyone else.  I’m fit, muscular and lean.  No prizes here.  So why the hell am I still doing this?  As a perceptive friend said to me only recently…”You’re a fit 40yr old trying to train like a fit 20yr old”.  He was right.  It’s time to start thinking like a fit 40yr old and accept that life is different.  It’s suicidal for me to continue pursuing a 20yr old fitness mindset.  Even though at my core, I still feel like that 20yr old.  This is my second wind in life and I intend to make the most of it by working smarter and being kinder to myself.  I can still be fit, muscular and lean.  I don’t have to beat myself up to achieve that anymore.

Where this all began…

When I finished up with my martial arts club, back eons ago, I suspect I had a nervous breakdown of sorts.  I went on to make another business mistake (that made two in a row where I chose the wrong person I went into business with) and during the fallout of those gut-wrenching failures, I decided there and then while going away to lick my wounds, that life for me would be different.  I was not going to partake in the madness of the world around me any longer…working too hard, working to be ‘rich’ (what a joke that is), and having no time to do the simple things in life which in the end became less attainable and further from my grasp.  That was around the time I fell pregnant with Philomena.  She then became another catalyst for change.  Having children for most people, as with myself, changes your perspective about life and what becomes more important.

Anthony and I decided then that life would be different.

We made the specific choice that I would stay home full-time to rear Philomena while she was at school.  I sold my car and we bought a unit in Mt Warren Park, as that was all we could get into at the time.  I did it tough with a young baby, having no car most of the time and having to catch public transport.  When you have a car, you take for granted the simple little things, like going the shops to buy necessities whether it’s pouring rain, windy, cold or oppressively hot.   Luckily, we had Anthony’s parents and a good friend to help during those difficult early years.  Since then, we’ve managed to buy a house and hang onto our investments.  I consider ourselves doing okay even on one income.  It’s a little tougher at the moment financially, but life is good.   Having a little more income through the Army Reserves has helped. Going out to work full-time to get a bigger or better house for me was not an option and still isn’t if it can be helped.  I couldn’t even imagine the detrimental effect on family life with all that stress.  I know most of the population have to do this.  We just chose and still choose, different.

So we decided that our family was going to be different than the mainstream.  Life would be quiet and Philomena would not be indulged.  We would give her our love, time and a quiet, stress-free and peaceful home life.  We would raise her to make healthy food choices, to have manners and courtesy, respect others and act with dignity.  And most of all, we would tell her we loved her and that you are never too old for hugs.  And we still do.

We are practicing Catholics and decided that though we don’t speak out about it, we would live those ideals and bring up Philomena with them.  It is our moral compass in a world where the majority of people have no moral compass and many people are lost.  I believe that it’s those guiding principles and traditions that keep us on course and keep us strong as a family and unite us.  Sometimes what we celebrate is against popular belief and it can be difficult to explain to your child why we don’t always follow what others do.  As we often say to Philomena, “just because others do something, that doesn’t mean you have to do it too”.  It’s about what is the right thing to do for us, which isn’t always easy, especially for a nearly six year old girl.  But she’s doing fabulously and as long as we explain why we do what we do she’s content.  She won’t understand fully right now, but one day she will.

So, there are rules we’ve set.  We will never allow a play station or computer games in the house.  We will never allow a TV in every room.  We limit TV exposure and encourage a lot of outside play and exploration.  The evenings are time to reduce the noise, turn down the lights, read, converse as a family and have time for quiet contemplation and then go to bed peacefully. 

I think the majority of families have lost the ability to connect because they are too busy living their own individual lives attached to technology and drowned out by all the noise, under their own roof.  They are like boarders who come out occasionally because they’re hungry and go back to their individual lives, and as a consequence they don’t know their own family. They have the inability to connect with others as well as themselves, introspectively. This also includes the inability to recognise signs and signals and lifes' sometimes subtle vibrations that reach out to us.  Society is so de-sensitised that it takes the force of an oncoming train to wake us from our state of disconnectedness.

“The most important thing is to find out what is the most important thing.”

- Shunryu Suzuki

At this point in time it’s about simplifying life when the accepted norm is to complicate life.  It doesn’t have to be this difficult.  Life doesn’t have to be that busy or stressful.  As the saying goes…less is more.

Paradigm shift…less is more.  It doesn’t have to be this difficult. 

Since moving into our new home and connecting more with my surroundings, and endeavouring to connect with family and friends at a deeper level, I’ve found that I’m yearning for more simplicity in my life to gain a richer, more satisfying relationship with it.

It’s all about Balance.  And I realise I’ve said this before.  ‘Balance’ was used in the context of my health and fitness journey, but Balance now is all about life as a whole and how I integrate all parts of my life (and the different roles I play) to reflect this.  It’s about living life more intuitively based around of course, a healthy lifestyle.  That hasn’t changed.  I’m not about to throw the baby out with the bath water. 

However, in addition to that it’s about living a life that is more genuinely me.  Those feelings of uneasiness and that somehow what I was doing was no longer congruent with what I knew in my heart to be right for me, are what’s been surfacing in the last six months.  I just didn’t know it then.

I’ve been a gym-rat for three years.  I’ve worked out and eaten, following program after program.  It’s become too hard, too tiring and too regimented.   It’s time to approach my health and fitness lifestyle differently, and enjoy physical pursuits of old, before my martial arts days, as well as encounter new ones.   It’s time to breathe fresh air into my health and fitness lifestyle and as Peter Barr would say… to continue living (more of) my genius.

From here it’s about being ‘Fit-and-Fab-after-40’. It’s time to remove all that white noise where I take life a notch upward, but at a slower, more flowing and intuitive pace.

Could this be the end of ‘No Ordinary Moments’?...

I haven’t decided yet whether to finish ‘No Ordinary Moments’ with this post.  I don’t know.  Maybe it will just evolve as I have evolved.  In the big scheme of blogs in this world, mine is just a number of millions of blogs written by people who want to be heard.  I just don’t know if I need to be heard any longer.  Am I satisfied with living out my life without an audience?

To quote the famous Zen koan…”If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?”  If I cease to allow people to bear witness to my journey via blogging, will anybody feel the ripple when my blog ceases to exist?

(Being) Fit and Fabulous AFTER 40 (is hard work!)

Mua at 40

"Fitness - If it came in a bottle,

everybody would have a great body."

- Cher

Hello fellow bloggers and health enthusiasts.  It's been awhile since I last blogged and I'm happy to say that life is just dandy...considering.  I also haven't had any home phone or internet connection for one week tomorrow!  I'm using hubby's computer.

I've had a few minor challenges in the last month or so, mainly to do with training (overtraining and then lack of motivation), as you would have read in my last post.  After a small break I resumed my training, but ever since I've been plagued by some annoying little niggles. 

The first was some upper trap tension which kept pulling my neck out of alignment and I was getting headaches and increased tiredness.  So it was back to doing my lower trap activation work.  My physio also said I had Plantar Fasciitis in my right foot.  It had been annoying me for some time and I finally fessed up.  So stretching and icing was prescribed for that (that's going to take longer to heal).  And in the last week, just to prove that things come in threes, I managed to strain my RHS calf (though we're not 100% convinced this is what it was).  That means no running, and alot of massage and stretching.  It's feeling much better and I should be able to resume gentle running by the start of next week.  I think my body is trying to tell me something, and I've been listening.

So,  my training volume and intensity have changed down somewhat.  To be honest, I think it's what I've needed.  I haven't even been strictly following a program, but have rather been listening to what my body has been telling me and doing what feels best.

The funny thing is, I haven't put on weight. I've been between 133-135lbs now for a couple of months.  Up and down.  I haven't been progressing past that 133lbs.  Even with the decrease in volume and training intensity, I'm still sitting on 133lbs.  And that' where I've been sitting.  I still haven't hit my goal weight of 57kgs (125.66lbs), but I don't think it's too far away. 

But, I'm not concerned, because I have finally got my nutrition on track and having more variety.   And even though my weight hasn't changed on the scales, something is happening, because in the last week, my shorts have all of a sudden loosened and I now have to buy a new belt, because my old one is too big.  My faithful denims I haven't worn for a couple of weeks, because they now fall down too low. 

The body fat is starting to come off and I'm starting to look lean again.  It's just that last remnant of body fat sitting on my butt and thighs.  You know, the bit that is always first to go on and the last to come off?

The thing is,  I'm doing it all differently.  I'm no longer focused on training 24/7 like I have been in the last few years.  Life has changed somewhat, and I no longer have to expend as much energy thinking about my fitness.  I plan and then I do.  Not as much deliberation now.  When I'm at training I focus 100% on doing my best (even at the moment as my intensity is at around 75%, rather than 100%).  And when I finish, I focus on that part of my life that I'm experiencing at that time.  I'm getting alot better at compartmentalising different areas of my life and not stressing about each one in-between.

I think I'm starting to understand this thing called 'Balance'.

On the other hand, that doesn't mean that I don't focus at all on my training or fitness goals.  I still think about them.  I just don't obsess so much anymore.  I'm doing lots of reading in the realm of nutrition at the moment and I'm finding it quite intriguing and I'm learning new things about how our bodies respond to varying degrees of macro-nutrients. So I'm still learning things.

Interestingly, just reading my coach, Liz's latest post, brought to mind how what people think, regardless of who we are, still has an influence on us to a greater or lesser degree.  I'm finding as I get older, it's becoming more important what I think of myself, rather than what others think of me.

I know for a fact that those outside the bodybuilding and fitness world think I'm obsessive because I enjoy training and assume that because I am muscular, I'm super fit (a misconception).  Older friends and family just think I'm skinny (and they want to fatten me up).  It's interesting how others perceive you.  And here I am thinking I'm doing okay for 43, but I still have a ways to go.  Just yesterday I bumped into an old neighbour and she asked me if I was a personal trainer. But as it goes, it's funny that others will notice the best of you while your self-talk is quickly summing up the worst of you.

However, in reality, when I look at other women my age in normal, everyday society, I know I'm part of a minority.  And I'm damned proud of it!  I like being different.  And if other women think I'm too muscular, so be it.  As I've said before...I'd rather have muscular arms than tuckshop arms, any day!  I've had them (tuckshop) and let me tell you, I didn't feel so special.

So I'll just keep chugging along and working on improving my fitness, keeping lean and growing a butt (muscle)!  Like Liz, I think I'm a fitness generalist and I'm really keen on trying different types of exercise genre, whether that be training for strength, power or endurance.  I like to mix it up. 

After so many years of martial arts (power and endurance), it's been a nice change to do different things.   And even though I miss martial arts (I've had to put it to bed for now due to time constraints and also injury), the many years of training have no doubt put me in good stead and have paved the way to pursue fitness in differing ways.

Even with all my little niggles, I'm still a work-in-progress.  Yes, it takes hard work to be fit and fabulous after 40.  But you know, I don't have any medical problems that trouble me.  I don't take any medication for anything.  I don't drink or smoke and don't feel the need to, because I'm quite high on life without them.  I mostly have food under control, though I don't think it's something we all completely master.  We all have our 'moments'.

I have energy to keep up with my nearly 6yr old daughter as well as do everything physical around the house.  I put to shame fellow AA reservists half my age when it comes to fitness tests (and that includes men too) and I have to say, I secretly enjoy putting them to shame! 

I know that if I need to dig deep physically, I can.  And for me, it's important to know that whatever challenge I face, I can handle it.

The best part is, I'm excited because I may be getting older, but I'm getting fitter (and I'm enjoying getting mellow too)!

When Analytical and Creative Collide...

"I have no special talents.  I am only passionately curious."

- Albert Einstein 

I suspect that I am experiencing one of many vicissitudes of life.  Unbeknownst to be, it's been taking place for about six months now.  It's been slowly building, though I've only been in a state of anxiousness for about two to three weeks.  I even considered seeking some professional help today, but I managed to calm myself down and organise my thoughts and look a little more deeply into my feelings to ascertain where all this anxiousness was coming from.

In my latest post I admitted that life is too good...and it's wonderful actually.

So why am I so anxious? 

Regardless of how well we think we know ourselves, at times even we can confound ourselves.

Why is it hard to seek help when you're seen as the strong one?  I think it's because when you're a high achiever, you have that expectation of yourself that you will always find the solution.  And you project a persona of such strength, coolness and calmness that others around you naturally assume you have your shit together 100% of the time.  Nothing could be further than the truth.

Most of the time I actually do have my shit together in a general sense.  Though there will always be areas of your life that need work.  Not every part of your life can be in balance 100% all at the same time.  There's always stuff we're working on in our lives.  Sometimes we drop the ball and then it becomes a mad scramble to regain control.

If you haven't noticed, the feeling of my blog has changed in the last six months or so.  I haven't much written about anything resembling health or fitness.  I've been struggling in the headspace department.  The fact is, I've got to a stage where I've figured out what I need from my training and nutrition.  There are no longer any surprises.  It's fairly simple really - train hard, train consistently, eat clean, and oh....rest!  I know what works for me and what doesn't.

Yes, there will always be more to learn when it comes to training and as my body gets stronger, but the routine of fitness is no longer a mystery.  It's so simple I could do it my sleep.  And that's where the problem lies.  Why is it we like to complicate the simple? 

I read somewhere recently that human beings abhor a state of equilibrium. That it's in our nature, and we derive pleasure from constant change, whether subtle or otherwise.

Order and routine in my life I need.  Without it, nothing would get done.  And action ensures that I am achieving my goals and getting things done.  I'm a person of action. I love making plans and I love seeing and analysing the results.  I would not have achieved what I have unless I was a person of action.

Yet, I am also a very creative person and sometimes routine stifles my need to be creative.  This is where the analytical side and the creative side collide.  And this is what's happening at the moment.  I think I'm in another creative phase in my life.

I haven't touched my pencils or paints for over five years now.  Ever since Philomena was a baby.  I miss that creative outlet, but as long as I have other creative pursuits in my life that's okay.  Creative for me is gardening; house planning and design; interior design and decoration.  It's a world filled with creative licence - colour, form, balance, style and form.  And most of all, it's about creating surroundings that embue your very essence. 

It's been the vege garden, the composting; the trees, birds, butterlfies, family, friends and food; decadence rooted in simplicity; the tree swing; sharing good conversation and laughter; observing beauty in doing simple, every day tasks; contemplation of all things beautiful and sublime.

It's about self expression and having your life and your home speak who you really are. 

It's about realising your dreams as a kid (being creative) whilst supposedly maintaining your visage as an adult (stifling creativity and imagination).  Striking a balance is a constant challenge.

So here I find myself, craving passivity yet at the same time having the need to create order and discipline in my surroundings. I do this now, so that I can indulge in the decadence of time-wasting, observation, daydreaming and contemplation that creativity demands.

Now all I need to do is work out how I can schedule both order and discipline as well as creativity in my life.  Now that is the real challenge - finding that balance.  I wonder whether I will ever find it again soon.  Because there have been times I have been content, and I realise that contentment is that balance I seek.  And it wasn't that long ago I was content - only last year in fact.

Right now...today, I'm on strike.  I can't face the thought of training or thinking too seriously about what's required for me to push through this current training and nutrition rut.  I mean, I haven't fallen off the wagon, but I'm just over the energy of being so 'on' all the time and my headspace is just not conducive to training.  So unlike me.  I need a break.  I'm not doing anything stupid.  I no longer binge or feel the need to comfort myself with food.  I've grown up a bit now.   I just need 'time out'.   

Of course I also know that 'this too shall pass'.  Fingers crossed it shall pass within in few days, and I'll have worked out how to schedule into my life on a regular basis, both order and creativity. Ahhh...I feel so much better already. 

Health...Your Moral Responsibility?

Today I was listening to RN on 612ABC radio. It was an interesting program with some diverse topics.  One particular program hosted by Amanda Smith, called 'Body Sphere', discussed the topic of 'Diets'. Now it followed the usual path that any topic about diet usually follows, and that is - different types of diets and the reasoning behind them.  There were interviews with various people who had followed various diets, and so on and so forth. 

What I found particulary interesting, and what really tweaked my interest was the word Diet, and how it comes from the Greek word 'Diatia', meaning 'a way of life, mode of living'.  Hmmm...interesting.  Interesting because diet in the modern sense is anything but, a way of life.  The word 'Diet' is seen as something painful that has to be endured in order to lose weight. It typifies something short-term.  But when you look at its' true meaning, to me, a way of life is long-term, which should be wholesome and balanced.  Not something we struggle with, but something we deeply believe in...we embrace and which our life engenders.

And what really caught my attention was the reference to Ancient Greek culture and philosphy and how ones' health was seen as a moral responsibility!  Wow!  If only the people of modern society saw it this way, how different would we be living our lives and how much happier we would all be?

It caught my attention because I agree wholeheartedly.  Our health is our moral responsibility.

It really annoys me when people complain about their (bad )health.  It's usually those people of whom it is mostly self-afflicted and who have never taken responsibility for their own actions and what they choose to put in their mouths, and what physical action they have failed to take.  Who blame other people, circumstances, genetics or whatever as the reason for their failing health.  They are the very same people who ridicule others for leading 'moderate' lives, yet will rely on those people to take care of them in their declining years.

Now I'm not talking about those who fall ill due to no fault of their own.  Life is life, and bad things happen to good people, regardless of whether they lead a healthy lifestyle or not.

What I'm talking about, and annoys the hell out of me is that our hospital system is overburdened, that society is becoming more unhealthy...popping more pills...shoving more food into their mouths...doing less and eating more, yet they wonder why they become ill.  It annoys me that in their older years that it's the ones who do take responsibility for their health, whom they've laughed at and ridiculed for leading moderate lives, who end up having to care for those who just don't give a shit!

I think it's so damned selfish and I wish people would wake up to themselves, take responsibility and become contributing members to society, rather than being a drain on it.  And I don't just mean the 'larger society' out there, but within their own family and network of friends.  How much more can we participate in life and be of genuine service if we are fit, healthy and happy!  And how much happier would we be?

Some days I really wish I could say to those who tell me I'm 'too skinny' (though they wouldn't know the difference between skinny and lean and muscular), or laugh at how healthy I eat, or ridicule the fact that exercising is a priority, that I don't drink or smoke, to go and get f*cked and take a good look at themselves in the mirror and ask just how long they think they'll be walking this earth, because their health is questionable and getting worse due to their own lack of responsibility and self-righteous denial of their current state of bad health.

Anyway...I've had my beef.  It's been stewing for a long time.  I know little will change, and people will continue to make bad food and lifestyle choices and blame others for their ill health. 

The question is...'do you think your health is your moral responsibility' or do you view it differently?  My view might seem too simplistic.

What do you Yearn For?

"When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep and dreamed of Para-para-paradise,
  Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes"

from 'Paradise', by Coldplay

The definition of Yearning is described as a "tender or urgent longing".  We all long for certain things...love, wealth, fame, family...and the list goes on.   To me, yearning describes something we strive or have striven for over an extended period of time.

Yearning is more complex than just wanting something.  Wanting something seems so much more transitory.  Yearning is something that we feel  with such a great depth of emotion that it drives us with unimaginable energy and takes on a life of its' own.  It's something we want so badly that we will overcome and endure and we accept that maybe it is something that will take a lifetime. 

That something we yearn for is a something which when we awaken, we feel its' presence and it influences our lives and moulds our patterns and behaviours.  What ever that something is which we yearn for, we imagine it so vividly - we can taste it...when we reach out for it, it feels so close we can touch it, and yet...it's always just beyond our reach.

Our heart aches, yet we feel hope.  We feel pain, either physically or emotionally, yet we gladly take up its' mantle, in the belief that whatever that something is that we yearn for, will become our reality. 

And I wonder...what do others yearn for and why? 

What Brims Beneath the Surface...

"Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies."

~ Erich Fromm

Lately I've been doing alot of reading.  I may have already mentioned this...I love nothing more than sitting on my comfy chair with my nanna blanky over my lap, reading a great book and sipping tea.

My favourite genre of books is Autobiographies.  My favourite types of autobiographies are the stories of struggle and triumph.  Especiallly when it comes to sports and fitness.  I have read others and enjoyed them, but I love those most especially.

Finding Comfort in our Discomfort

"Definition: a Paradox is a seemingly true statement or group of statements that lead to a contradiction or a situation which seems to defy logic or intuition. The term is also used for an apparent contradiction that actually expresses a non-dual truth such as two true sentences which put together seem incompatible as both being true."

- Wikipedia

The photo is of practicioners doing 'discomfort yoga'. It looks very uncomfortable to me. But I'm presuming that people do this kind of stuff thinking that it's supposed to be comfortable (eventually)?

So today I'm expanding on my last post in relation to challenging yourself. Funny how simple conversations can lead to deeper thoughts. The conversation which led me to think about Finding Comfort in our Discomfort, was one that I had with a woman in the gym on Monday, after our cycle class.

Craig, our usual enigmatic instructor was nowhere in sight, and a young female instructor came in and announced that she was taking over the slot and then proceeded to play crap music, at which time I knew we were in for a crap cycle session.

Not only did she instantly put us off with her choice of music, but basically began to tell everyone that they needed to all be cycling at the same level of resistance and exactly what that level was (Craig points out that we are all at individual fitness levels and to work to whatever level you are, with the aim of always improving your effort and results). She never asked if it was anyone's first session (Craig always makes a point of doing this, and showing them how to set up their bike, etc), and I doubt whether she'd taken the time to find out more about Craig and how he ran his classes and how she could help with a smooth transition. She also gave the class a kick in the guts during the session, saying that we weren't trying hard enough and to push harder...WTF?

One woman walked out during the class, and you could guess at how lively the conversation was afterwards in the little girl's room. So anyway...the conversation with one woman...

We were talking about how the sudden change in both instructor and the way the class ran, instantly made us all feel uncomfortable. We've become so used to how Craig instructs - his upbeat personality, lively banter and enthusiasm, and his awesome ability to choose and arrange his tracks in a way that motivates and inspires us. When we're in that cycle room, he makes us think we're out on the road, and we're in the race of our lives. Whether it's pacing, racing or tackling those mountain climbs - we're right there with him.

So when our cycle session began, I was loathing it. I was observing all the negative thoughts running through my head, about the crap music and how boring the session was going to be. I had built up such an expectation of my Monday morning cycle class, because it's the first thing on my training schedule for the week that I use to get me pumped and motivated for the week ahead.

A truth then struck me: When something happened that changed my expectation of what I was about to experience - an experience I was normally comfortable with...I became uncomfortable.

I began to inquire into the reasons I felt this way, and realised that my discomfort was born of comfort. Comfort in my routine...comfort in my expectations...comfort in knowing how the session would be instructed...comfort in knowing what lay ahead when I cycled in one of Craig's classes.

I then looked at the reason why I was actually here in the first place, and it dawned on me that I was looking for the wrong reasons and that originally I started doing the cycle class to experience a level of 'discomfort' I hadn't known before.

It was in doing something different...something I found challenging (because my legs at first were quite tired) that made me want to try Cycle classes in the first place. I knew I had to work on improving endurance in my legs. I first found it challenging, and I still do because I always push myself and work on improving...increasing my level of resistance...doing my best on pace work, which I'm not good on. But now my legs have become stronger and my endurance has improved, I no longer view my sessions as being uncomfortable.

So with this realisation, I decided that I would forget about who was taking the class, and the crap music, and focus on the real reason I was there. To get uncomfortable and to push myself in a different way. Not only physically (because she did push us hard!), but to push myself mentally and to challenge my limited thinking.

We become comfortable when we train our thoughts in ways which see us placing limits and boundaries on them. And we need to recognise when we're doing this, because it stops us from experiencing new things and therefore limits our ability to transcend our current level of existence.

If we want to make real and lasting progress, and move forward as a person, then we need to embrace discomfort, because it's only then that we really understand and appreciate the comforts we are gifted with. Therefore, I find comfort in my discomfort and I'm excited every day by the possibilities of what I can achieve and experience...now and into the future.

Evolutionary Defining Moments

"If you want to know your past - look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future - look into your present actions."

- Chinese Proverb

The definition of a Defining Moment is stated as "a point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified."

I don't consider myself someone who has achieved anything extraordinary compared to those who are more well known for great achievements in their given fields of expertise. However, I do not belittle my life or my journey, nor think myself any lesser a person. How can you say that your life is no less ordinary than anothers', or that it is worth any less or any more? Especially when you look beyond the physical being of a person and look into their hearts. It is what it is...different.

I do however strive to create more evolutionary defining moments in my life. Meaning...creating defining moments which signify a continual, and progressive change toward not only a better life, but a life for us which typifies our own unique genius. And in doing so, I hope to achieve a life that embodies what it means for me to be extraordinary (a better version of myself).

Defining moments can either hinder or help your progress, and we all experience both of these types of moments. If we look closely enough, and are honest with ourselves, I'm sure we can say which moments we tend to focus on more readily. However, which ones we focus on currently, we can probably assume are a reflection of our current state of mind and reality.

Personally...and this is just my opinion...defining moments to me, signify that a single action, or collection of actions has taken place. It's at this particular point, that we determine whether an action (or non-action, which is still a type of action) will be one which 'hinders' our evolution or puts us on the path of progress. If we continually create actions which hinder our evolution, then that creates defining moments that over the medium to long-term, will result in lives that continually disappoint. On the other hand - if we continually create actions which are progressive in nature, then we should see the quality of our lives improve, and our ability to exponentially create extraordinary lives (whatever that means to us).

Now remember, it's okay to create defining moments that hinder our evolution every so often. That's part of the process of making mistakes and experiencing failures. It's only when we continually create actions that hinder over an indefinite period of time, that it then robs us of our true potential and our ability to create evolutionary defining moments, and hence, our ability to lead extraordinary lives.

Lastly, to finish off what I am trying to convey...in relation to actions, this is where alot of us can fall down. It's the notion of 'never giving up' that to me, really determines whether an action or collection of actions will create the success you seek.

To best describe what I mean, I will give you an example in relation to training, which is the best way I know how.

When you set goals, it's important to look at the bigger goals or the bigger picture to keep you focused on the why. To achieve your goals, it's not only in the planning, but in the executing. The execution of your plan is where all the actions are, and it's where you create your defining moments. The quality of your action at that point in time, i.e. hindering or progressive, will determine the type and quality of your defining moment. And over time, the better the quality, the better the result. The more progressive, the more you will contribute to your evolution, and the more likely your life to be one which is extraordinary.

In that one action, that one defining moment...that one that you're in right now (relative to training/exercise, though it can relate to anything), whether you give up or not, will determine, over time, whether you will create the life you have always wanted and dreamt of...or not. Nothing more...nothing less.

However, in saying that, for those people whose many defining moments have been negatively influenced and outside of their control, and who have suffered physically and/or emotionally as a result, I cannot speak for and do not purport to know the answer. The only thing that I can surmise is that regardless of actions forced upon that person, the defining moment is in their ability to determine whether that or those moments control their present and future actions, and their ability to create their own evolutionary defining moments, as to whether they can still lead a happy and deeply meaningful life.

Now back to the training scenario...If you're on that treadmill, for example, and you have set your goal to run for 30 minutes at a speed of 9, and you know it's a realistic goal to go for, but you find that you've hit 25 minutes and you're struggling - it's at this point, this defining moment which will determine what your future is going to look like.

You see, it's what you do at this moment which defines who you are.

Sorry...it's a pretty tough call, but let me finish. You can do one of two things. You can:

1) Stop...give up right now, because it's too hard, or...


2) You can still complete your goal, but change the parameters to ensure that you abide by your rule of 'never giving up'. An example would be, to decrease your speed for the last 5 minutes.

You see, by changing the parameters, you're still going to hit your goal. Maybe not today. But if you increase the length of time you run at the speed of 9, by 30 seconds or 1 minute, every time you hop on that treadmill - over time you will achieve your complete goal of running at the speed of 9 for 30 minutes. When you hit that goal, does it really matter how long it took you to get there? The point is...you've arrived. You can then keep changing the goal posts and making progress. Maybe next time, you can then increase the speed or incline, and then increase the time until you hit the 30 minute mark again, or you can just increase the time. It's all up to you!

The most important action or defining moment is in the never giving up. The most important action is completing your task in that given moment, even if it means changing the parameters a little (as long as you're being honest and not short-changing yourself, i.e. you're honouring yourself).

Because, if you create more and more of these types of actions...these defining moments, that mindset of never giving up and giving it your all...that there is how to create extraordinary. That there is your "essential nature or character", and what you will be known for...it's part of your character-building and reputation.

We have all done this. Pushed ourselves when we thought we had nothing left. And when we did it, we felt liberated and empowered! We then believed that whatever it was that we were striving toward was possible. It fuelled our confidence, our belief in ourselves and our motivation.

Create enough of these defining moments and our lives can be transformed.

So remember...break it up into chunks of action, and never give up on that action...right now. Because that action in that very moment is all that counts. And it's your mindset of always finishing and finishing strong that will set you up for a life of extraordinary, aka a better version of you!