New Home...New Insights

View from top of driveway

Our private rainforest

The view and setting at the rear of our home.  My favourite place.

Philomena's new (2nd hand) trampoline, given to us through our wonderful friend, Matt

Rainbow Lorikeet eating nectar from one of our grevilleas

More forest pictures

I can't believe it's been about 7 weeks since I've posted.  I'm sitting out the back patio (see photo of my favourite place) as I write this post.  It's my favourite place to sit and contemplate and listen to the birds and the breeze rustling through the trees.  We have a resident Whipbird, which I'm thrilled at having in our back yard to listen to every day.  Philomena has named it 'Whippy' and we've been having breakfast every morning out the back patio, listening to the birds.    I've also spotted Pale Headed Rosellas and I love watching the rainbow lorikeets and honey-eaters.  This morning I could hear kookaburras, and there are some other bird varieties I haven't worked out yet by their call.

So this is why I've been absent for such a long time it seems.  I've also had no end of problems with having our phone and internet reconnected, and my old tower desktop computer finally died.  It's only hanging on long enough now for me to transfer all my files across to this new laptop.  I love wireless connection!  I no longer have to sit facing four walls.  I can sit amongst the trees and birds.

As you can see, our home isn't 'brand new' as such, but a new location.  I really love our new home.  I now have just about everything I've wanted (except that million-dollar view overlooking Mt Tamborine).  When I saw this house, it was love at first sight.  Of course, if we had a million dollars, I'm sure we would have bought a newer home, but for what we paid, I think we did exceptionally well.  And for what it's worth, it's still a stretch financially...more about this in a minute.

Our friends were rather surprised to find out we bought a new home, as we never talked about it.  In fact, the decision to buy came up in conversation with AW about how it was a great time to buy, but not a great time to sell. The conversation we had was oh...about 8 weeks ago.  I went away and crunched some figures, and said to AW...yes, we can afford it, but it means going back to being frugal again, to which we decided would be okay.  We'd done it before, we could do it again, if it meant getting into a house with a yard and more space for all of us.

The journey since that decision, I have to tell you has been incredible, challenging, frustrating to the point of going insane.  At quite a few points, it seemed that our dream of getting into a house was within our reach, only to be pulled from our grasp.  It has been an emotional rollercoaster from day one, and I was quite unprepared for the current economic climate in which we applied for finance.  It's a climate I have never experienced, and I had very little sleep for 5 weeks straight.

We've purchased homes before, but this one was different for a number of reasons.  Mainly because of my emotional attachment.  In previous times we always had our loans pre-approved, but this time we needed to secure the contract, because it was such a great buy and I knew that it would go pretty quickly.

So why did I invest so much emotionally?

It was always about my dream of having a home where Philomena could play outside unfettered.   I wanted her outside exploring, not inside watching TV.  I wanted us as a family to be outside, and more connected with nature and fresh air, and more outside activity.

It was about us as individuals having more personal space and more room to have privacy and relax. 

It was about us as a family, doing more things which were based around home and family.  Having family and friends around more often and reconnecting with people.

It was about the chooks; having a vegetable garden and making my own compost; creating a beautiful garden full of colour and scents and one which everyone can enjoy.  Creating spaces in the garden to sit and contemplate and to enjoy this beautiful forest outlook we have here, which not alot of people even know exists. 

It was about Philomena having pets and a dog, because I want her to have that special relationship that I had the privilege of having as a child with my dog and pets.  Having pets is a great lesson for children in responsibility and caring for something which is helpless and requires love and committment.  Pets, especially dogs are also great companions for children (and adults).

It was about Philomena having a play/cubby house and areas of play to help develop her strong imagination and creativity. 

It was about having a blank canvas on which to create our dream home.  And boy, do we have lots of plans.  It's 1/4 acre, so there's lots of room and we plan to extend onto the home.  We plan to build in the carport for extra room, and expand the kitchen/dining area.  We also plan to build a deck out the back to enjoy the view and create more outdoor living space to overlook the kids play area.  Of course, this won't happen straight away.  We're pretty skint at the moment.

The greatest part of all of this, is that we have only moved 3kms!  We're still in Beenleigh, though you wouldn't think so.  It's so close.  Philomena and I call it our 'Secret Place'. You can't see our home from the road.  All you can see is a letterbox, a driveway, and a gate, in-between two other houses from the road.

So was all the emotional turmoil worth it?  You betcha! 

AW was away alot during this whole time, so there was only little old me to deal with just about everything single-handedly.  Thankfully, Anthony recruited family and friends to help on moving day.  And thanks to my sister, Carol for helping me clean our other place.  I don't think I would have got it all done without her!  And Matt, if you're reading this...you're amazing!  And you have been and still, are one of our most cherished and generous friends  We would have been in a real pickle without your help on moving day.  You ROCK!

So there you have it.  I hadn't trained for 6 weeks!  This is the longest break from training ever since starting my fitness journey with IBO back in July 2008.  I put on 4kgs!  I was very stressed, but I returned to training sought of last week, and more earnestly this week. It will probably be at least 2 weeks before being able to resume my training at the same volume and intensity I was at before the six weeks.

I'm amazed at how much tone I've lost in that period.  My body has definitely suffered and I'm feeling quite horrible at the moment and out of sorts again.  But I know it's only temporary.

I put out a HELP signal to Liz to help me get focussed and get some accountability so I can get back on track quickly.  I'm confident this can happen and I can feel more myself again.

So...new insights...

...life happens, and you just gotta pick up where you left off.
...some things can't be helped, but know that it's only temporary, and you're only about 30 days from seeing real change.
...I don't suffer fools gladly.
...I'm getting grumpier as I get older.
...I don't like the fact that some things are out of my control.
...someone above is looking out for us, and I am eternally grateful.
...some times life is tough, but you'll always get through it and move on, so don't be afraid to try!
...it's amazing what you'll go through when your dream is strong enough!

So now I can re-focus on my fitness again.  It feels good to be sore, but gosh...at the moment I feel like a beginner.  I feel so unfit.  But I know it's only temporary!

I have made a conscious decison not to be on the internet so much. I got so much done while away, and to be honest, I want to spend more time with my family in our new home and on our new home, creating the pictures I have in my head.

Because you know.  That's what drives me.  And I know that for most of you, that's what drives you too.  You have that picture or pictures in your head of what your ideal life is - your ideal you, and you spend your time bringing your current reality to match your current ideal.  That's what makes life so amazing.  That we can create what we imagine, and it's in the 'creating' that we derive so much joy and satisfaction.

So I will leave you with a wonderful saying I read off the sign out front of the Beenleigh Lutheran Church...

"Be content with what you have...but not with who you are."


*  P.S.  Let me know please if some of the photos look a bit squashed. It could just be my new computer.  Just double-click on the photo and it should be a normal size.