Wk 31...Are You Running from Pain or Toward Pleasure?

You swear you recall nothing at all

That could make you come back down

You made up your mind to leave it all behind

Now you're forced to fight it out

You fall away from your past

But It's following you

You left something undone,

It's now your rerun

It's the one you can't erase

You should have made it right,

so you wouldn't have to fight

To put a smile back on your face

You fall away from your past

But it's following you

You fall away

Something I've done

that I can't outrun

Maybe you should wait

maybe you should run

But there's something you've

said that can't be undone

And you fall away from your past

But it's following you

You fall away

It's following you

- 'Fall Away', from the album 'How to Save A Life', by the Fray

I've been having some soul-searching discussions with The Journey Man. I love these opportunities to explore the human psyche...our own fears, failings, and insecurities, that never seem to be far away.

Some of us carry them like our favourite pair of jeans...you know it's time to part with them and they are so comfortable, like an old friend and you can't bear to relinquish that friendship. Some of us could probably do with relinquishing some old friendships...those favourite pair of jeans.

I think that when we want something in our lives, and we want to initiate change, we are either the kind of person that tends to be running from pain or toward pleasure. Which one are you?

What changes would you like to make, or what changes are you currently making? Why do you want change? Is it because you just can't bear the pain any longer, and your future looks so bleak that it scares you? Or is it because you're in a phase of your life where it's predictable...comfortable....pleasurable, but it's time to move on to bigger or better things, or just a better quality of life?

Personally, I think it depends on which rung you're standing on, in the ladder of life.

Our discussion got me thinking about my fat loss journey, which started in July 2008. Yes...incredibly, it's been 2 years! I heard a song from the Fray's album yesterday, and the most vivid memories came flooding back to me. I'd forgotten how I felt at the beginning of that journey, but the songs reminded me of how I felt back then. That album was the very first album that I listened to over and over, and over again.

I admit that for me, I was running from the pain. Sometimes you get to a place where you abhorr your very existence and what you've become. You look back to who you were and what you had, and you wonder how you got here, and it pains you to be you.

'How to Save a Life' was my workout album. You'd probably think it strange. How could this album motivate me? That's just where I was at that point in time. There was enough pain in the words and melodies to help me remember why I was doing this, yet there was enough hope to push me through until I was ready to start running toward pleasure.

Of course now it's so different. I am no longer running from the pain. I am definitely running toward the pleasure of a future that holds so much more hope and vitality. It's a nice place to be.

So wherever you are in your life, if you want real change, please don't be afraid to say goodbye to those favourite pair of jeans and welcome in a brand-spanking new pair. They may be a little tight to start with but you'll wear them in again with a life full of possibilities and a future full of hope.

And whether you're running from your pain or towards pleasure - that's not important is it? The important thing is....just get running!