Life IS the Messy Bits

Yeah...a bit messy...but it's life.

If you're offended - GET A LIFE!

After a couple of weeks of full-on in Wodonga, it was nice to relax on the recliner, not have to think much, and watch a predictable chick flick...'Letters from Juliet'. That's where I got the title. And what an AHA! moment, when I heard those words..."Life IS the Messy Bits". I had to write it down. I think there's a future book in that title (no doubt there is some book out there with this title...but if I've found that you've taken this title after reading this blog, I will hunt you down and......).

You know what really makes life interesting? PEOPLE! And without people in all their complexities, life would be so dull, don't you think?

It kind of struck me today, that in our pursuit of perfection, the things that we really seem to be drawn to are not so much the actual achievements, but all the shit (aka challenges) that happens to us in between....the messy bits. I mean...that's where the juicy stuff is right? That's what we all crowd around the water cooler and strain our ears for. That's where all the interesting stuff is.

We all love to hear of success stories, but what makes the story a real success is what happens on the way there. It seems the more bizarre and/or the more difficulties that happen along the way, the more we're inclined to tune in and take notice.

I mean, some people have some fascinating stories (not all, but then again, even the dull ones can be fascinating).

Now some (stories) are downright full of shit, and they never seem to overcome their shit, and you get a bit bored because their stories are only filled with shit, and then you wonder whether they'll ever square their shit away (please excuse the army speak).

And then there are others where everything in their lives seem to just fall into place. They read like a Barbie fairytale (and they look like Barbies too), like the ones I watch with my 4 year old....yawwwwwwn! You know the ones...blah, blah, blah...happily ever after. You don't even hang around for the finish because you know how it's going to end.

And then...there are those quietly unassuming lives. We look at these people and think they're pretty average. You know...they look pretty normal...nothing amazing. And then you ask them some casual, unassuming question, and they open their mouths and your chin drops to the floor and you think WTF??? You find that they have some degree in something you can't even pronounce; that they've travelled to some of the most exciting and exotic places in the world and fought crocodiles with their bare hands; have famous people as their besties; and they live in a weatherboard shack with their 12 kids, of whom some are fostered, and the rest are adopted from third world countries...AND...they're happy! What gives?

Sometimes I wonder where people find the time to fit in all the things that they do in their lives. A bit like those true life stories...you know the ones. The headline reads...'DOUBLE-LIFE EXPOSED. MAN WITH 2 WIVES, 10 CHILDREN - A DOUBLE-AGENT FOR CIA - WIVES SHOCKED!' I mean - where do these guys find the energy (poor Mr Weeny)? I can't even fit in all the things I want to do in one life! And my husband agrees - he can't even keep up with one wife, let alone the thought of two!

I was pondering about the richness and variety of life and I was thinking about all the things I've done in mine. I know there are others who have had challenges that could have destroyed many a great number of people, if they were to have experienced them. I consider myself fortunate that I have not experienced these kind of challenges. But I've had my challenges - like everyone.

And what struck me was how at the time, going through those challenges I would feel so small and inconsequential. I would feel weak and admonish myself for my stupidity or self doubt. I would wonder why it is that I feel so inferior when others would seem to rise above the moment and conquer their demons. I'm supposed to be the strong one, but I feel so weak, and I feel like a hypocrite.

But I've come to realise that all of these moments are just moments, and these so-called 'failings' were just mistakes. These mistakes were just experiences that led me to the next one, and the next one, and they changed the way I encountered my next experience. Without the previous one, how could I draw on it, and come to appreciate the uniqueness of the next experience, and the subsequent lesson to be discovered.

It's the cumulation of our collective experiences that signify the richness of our lives, and without those failings, those mistakes, those messy bits, how would we come to know when and where the peaks and tribulations are, and to extract every divine moment from them?

So at the moment, I'm in a little bit of quandary. For me, life is about balance, but it's the ACTION vs CUMULATIVE EXPERIENCES vs CONTEMPLATION that has me stumped. It's hard to explain. You know how it is if you want to pursue a goal. To achieve it, you must be single-mindedly focused. But what if you want to achieve more than one thing? Sometimes I think one life is just not enough to do everything I want to do, and still have the time to sit back, have that balance, and be able to have time to just observe and take stock of my collective experiences and appreciate. Oh well! Even if my life seems dull compared to others', at least I'm not bored. There's just way too much to do in this life time to be bored.

Geez I love being 40 something. At this age, endeavouring to create and then embrace all the messy bits becomes a bit of mission on the way to accumulating as many profound experiences as possible, on that (hopefully long) journey to the pearly gates.