Delusions of Grandeur

"Creative people are often accused of having delusions of

grandeur, often by people with delusions of adequacy."

Source: 'a Thousand Paths to Creativity' by David Baird

It's nearly two weeks now since returning from Kapooka. I've been in recovery mode, or so I've been telling myself. Who am I kidding? Hell...I know how to work hard, but I have no problem chilaxing. My exercise has been non-existent and I've steadily been eating more crap. I've been eating everything in sight! And ya know?...I'm not stressed about it.

But...it's time to move on and upward again.

I've been pondering this - why I haven't found the motivation to start training and watching my diet. Actually, It's not that I haven't found the motivation - I just haven't started looking. The last 12 months I've been so damned focused and motivated...hell, my shit didn't even stink!...lol...

The last 12 months has just been about overcoming my injuries, getting fit again, and training specifically for Kapooka. My life revolved around this to get me to Kapooka and get through it. Well...now it's complete, where do I go from here?

I need to set a another major goal to keep the motivation and focus high.

I've revisited my goals, first just my maintenance goals, and then my 2009 goals. And what I've found is that Kapooka took so much out of me, that I think at this stage, it would be detrimental to set any major goals for the remainder of the year.

After a visit to my physio, it's back to basics and getting myself back to pre-Kapooka strength and fitness levels before taking it to the next level. I lost so much strength and those muscle weaknesses which I've been working on for over 12 months, have resurfaced, as I had very little opportunity to do any separate rehabilitative exercises while away. We're (my physio and I) hoping that it's only a muscle memory lapse, and that after a week, my muscles will remember my pre-Kapooka state, and respond accordingly. I'm confident this is the case.

So...no running for a min. of 2 to 4 weeks, and it's back to stretches, physio isolation and activation exercises. Firstly for my RHS glute, which is the primary cause, and then my hamstrings, and abs/core. The weakness in my RHS glute is seriously affecting the equalibrium. So until I address this first, my body can't function correctly.

All this means that I can't return to Crossfit training at 100% for at least a month. I'll be starting back martial arts training next week, as Wing Chun isn't physically demanding, and I'll have to slowly ease back into CF, probably with quite a bit of modification. I'm hoping at least that the strength training part of CF will do me good, especially regaining my core strength and stability.

Doesn't sound so exciting does it? But ya know...today, I am feeling excited again (as I listen to my latest find and motivational music...Hilltop Hoods...thanks to Corporal B for the intro).

I'm excited, because I've come a hell of long way. I know what I've been through to get here, and how hard I've worked. I've achieved quite a bit in 12 months and even though I felt like shit at Kapooka, on reflection, I'm proud of myself for getting through it and not quitting. Alot of people wouldn't have, couldn't have got through it - but I did! I now know that when it comes down to it, I can do anything I want to, regardless of the fear or pain I'm feeling. I can push myself to the limit, mentally and physically and know that I'll come through it. And anything from here on in is easy. If anything, Kapooka was worth the pain, just for that one insight alone.

So the motivation is back! Today is a new day...time to go COLD TURKEY!

I'm pumped...ready to take on the world. It's time to get serious again - time to put on my Wonder Woman training wheels. Time to enter my fantasy world again where I'm a lean, mean, fighting machine, and I'm taking on the baddies. I'm kickin' butt, saving the world, fighting for world peace and justice, and looking mighty damned fine while I'm doin' it!

How's that for delusions of grandeur? :P Feel free to join me! :)