Your Comfort Zone...is it really working for you?

"The greatest enemy to your human potential is your comfort zone."

- Author unknown

Upon reaching the age of 40, I started thinking about this...my comfort zone. I was quite comfortable being overweight. I hadn't worked for a number of years, and I'd gotten into a nice, steady pace, and I was leading a nice quiet life. Well...as quiet as it can be raising children. Still, my (our) aim was to bring up Philomena in a quiet, stable, loving and nurturing environment. Life was pretty cruisy and at that time I thought I was really happy. Becoming a mother later in life changed my perspective, and I came to appreciate simple yet significant things, like the creation of a child (and the fierce maternal bonding feelings) and the fragility of life itself.

However, in spite of what I thought was a happy life, I was not content. For me, being fit and healthy has always been part of my persona. It's what resonates with me and keeps me grounded. It wasn't until I lost the weight, and returned to my previous fit and healthy lifestyle, that contentedness entered the picture.

I think the problem is, as you get older, you start to get into your 'comfort zone', where you've lived your life a particular way for so long. You've been there, done that, and you've been through most of the emotional turmoils of youth, love, relationships, children, work, etc. You feel like you've arrived, and you pretty well much have gone through what there is to go through, apart from latter stages of life's natural cycles, i.e. more children, grown-up children, empty nest, retirement, etc. Materially, even though there's things you still want, you've achieved what you need to, to live comfortably.

My Fit-and-Fab-at-40 journey started in July 2008, when I started a fat loss program with Ideal Bodies Online. Determined to once again be the person I've always known myself to be, I approached the program with 110% commitment and determination. It was the first time, in a long time that I started to step off the ledge, and walk out of my comfort zone. Was it scary?...yes...Was it exciting?...yes...Was it worth it? Hell Yes!

It was about six months after starting the program (my second IBO program), that things in my life started to change. Probably because I was changing. Not only from the outside, but more importantly from the inside. At this stage, I started thinking about the possibility of what I could do. The strange thing was, once I began doing this, that pandora box of opportunity was opened, and a whole new life and direction was borne from my subconscious. I started to think of this next stage of life and the perfect opportunity to fulfil lifelong ambitions, regardless of how impossible they may have seemed at the time.

What got me thinking about this topic (comfort zones) was a discussion I had with Leisl S, a client of IBO. I had coffee with her yesterday and she'd just come from a photo session after completing her first 12 weeks on the Ideal Bodies Online program. To say she was excited, is an understatement. Leisl was literally jumping out of her skin! And meeting her for the first time and seeing her transformation, I can understand her excitement, because I'd been there and I knew exactly what she was going through. Leisl looked AMAZING! Young, gorgeous and looking extremely athletic, I'm really excited about seeing her professional pics! Leisl is a very determined young woman, and she's been through her share of challenges to arrive at the place she is now.

I think what stood out most in our conversation was our agreeance about what happens when you do step out of your comfort zone, heading off into the unknown, and about what opportunities you begin to create in taking that step. A whole new other life is opened up to you of something you may never have imagined, and unless you take that leap, you may never get to discover what's out there waiting for you.

And you know, once you've stepped off the ledge the first time, it doesn't end there. In the act of stepping out of your comfort zone that first time, you get to a place where your present experience of the world and what you thought becomes obsolete and outdated, and you realise that what you know and what you've achieved is so miniscule in the big scheme of life.

That's what I've come to realise anyway.

So, once my life started to take on a different direction, that's when things started to become challenging. I hadn't realised that by making a decision and taking a different direction, that life would then be continually requiring me to step out of my comfort zone again and again, and again.

Life in the last 20 months has been just that. And you know...it's been really tough. I hadn't realised how comfortable my life had become. Going through all the changes necessary, and all the training and rigmarole I had to endure, leading up to and joining the Reserves was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Ask another person (20 years younger) in the same situation, and they may have told you they've enjoyed the process. But honestly, I haven't. Confronting the fact that I had indeed gotten older, and my body just couldn't handle physically what it could 20 years ago, became startingly apparent.

Returning to martial arts and having the mind of a beginner again...learning new skills in the Army and doing things I've never done before or felt comfortable with doing...starting at Crossfit and realising I wasn't as fit and strong as I thought I was... it's all messed with my head, because I'm continually uncomfortable in my ineptness.

The thing is...it's so uncomfortable because I'm continually fighting the need to do everything perfectly...the first time. Physical skills have always come fairly easily for me, and I've excelled in whatever physical pursuit I've aimed for. Mind you, I've always trained with complete committment and a sense of purpose. I don't mind doing the basics - in fact, I love doing the basics until I can get it right. That's the perfectionist in me. Problem is now, it's hindering me to the stage that I've become so fearful of making mistakes that I become so stressed and I begin to doubt my ability.

It's been a major discovery for me. I've been constantly afraid of failing and I'm stepping out of my comfort zone a number of times in any given week. So this year I'm consciously endeavouring to change my approach to being out of my comfort zone. Instead of approaching it with apprehension and fear, my aim is to approach it with a healthy respect, and realisation that I indeed do have the ability; to give it my best shot whatever the outcome; and be happy and confident that I'm living my life to my fullest human potential.

So why don't I just stop? Why do I continuallly throw caution to the wind? Because stepping out of my comfort zone is now part of my life if I want to reach my goals. And unless I give it my very best shot, how do I know what I'm truly capable of, and how much fun, excitement and mystery am I missing out on? And anyway...I like to keep people guessing.