Wk 19 & Discovering Your Best You

"Don't give up.

Sometimes you don't get it right the first time.

But keep going, keep chasing your dreams

because the journey

is just as important as the destination."

- John Maclean

It's been apparent that this year has been one of struggle for me so far. Has it been enjoyable?...heck no! Has it been easy?...hell no! Has it been a worthwhile lesson? Definitely!

It feels wonderful to be on top of the world...when everything is going right for you. You feel in your element and you never want that feeling to stop. You think it's going to last forever.

But know this...whatever goes up, must come down. Life is a continous roller coaster ride, so you better enjoy it when you're sitting at the top of the ride. Hopefully, there'll be more peaks than troughs, and there'll be some time spent in-between, where it seems that things are neither going forward nor backward.

I keep thinking back to when I felt at the top of the ride, only 12 months ago. It's when you're in the midst of struggles, trying to find your way out that you resort to thinking of the good times, or when you otherwise felt at your best, hoping to find the answer to the question of why you are, where you are at this moment in time.

I think that's really important to do. To stop and re-assess where you're going. It's so easy to get caught up in life and then be carried along, thinking that you're on the right path, and getting closer to your goals.

So how do you know when you're not getting closer to your goals? You listen to yourself...you listen to your body...you listen to your thoughts and what that voice is saying. Not only in your head, but in your heart....really listen. Sometimes your desire to achieve your goals can drown out those voices in your head and weaken the pulse of the messages your heart is conveying, to the point where your desire drowns out your intuitive calls for help.

"Errors become mistakes when we perceive them and respond to them incorrectly.
Mistakes become failures when we continually respond to them incorrectly."

- John C. Maxwell

You would think that after making the same mistake in years gone by, that I would have learnt from those. But you know, sometimes you don't even realise that you're doing it. I just caught myself doing just that, except it's taken me six months of hard lessons and alot of learning.

To be honest, I thought that I was getting closer to my goals.

However, when I think more deeply about it, I failed to heed the saying that I said I would heed..."To Thine Self be True". Or rather, maybe I didn't fail. I am heeding those words...it's just taken me longer to recognise my failings.

You're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about! I'm jibbering in riddles again.

I'm talking about how I've been training for six months and what I've been doing. I'm talking about my decision to shelve (thanks to Deanne for that word) Crossfit (temporarily...who knows), and get back on track, and listen to what my body is telling me.

I've done this before....listened to someone else and taken on board their words and committed myself to achieving goals based around their ideals, rather than working towards goals based on my own ideals. And thinking that it would be the only option that was best for me.

Of course, it's important that we try different things to discover who we truly are. But at some stage, if your intuition is telling you that something is amiss, you need to listen, because when it's screaming out to you, it means that maybe, just maybe, this isn't what's best for you after all.

We think that someone else's path, is the path you need to be taking, to be the best you. I've learnt that being the best you isn't about playing someone else's game. It's about finding your niche in life...finding your strengths and passions, and then following that path...your path. It doesn't make you any less of a person. In fact, in helps you become more of the person you are meant to be.

"Some goals you achieve, others you don't.

In the end, it doesn't matter. The key is to keep on setting them."

- John Maclean

So I've been thinking about my goals again. And I've been thinking of the last time I felt my best. What was I doing? What is it that makes me feel uniquely me?

And you know what I came up with? Pre-Kapooka! and...Martial Arts.

You see...I went back to the gym on Monday night. Whoa! What an AHA moment! It wasn't as easy as I thought. I came to the realisation that 12 months ago I felt stronger...I felt fitter...I felt leaner. Of course, last year I was training 6 days a week, both doing weights 3-4 days and cardio 6 days.

"...eighty per cent of success is rocking up. I know that to be true. You just need the courage to get into the game."

- John Maclean

So I have alot of work to do to get me back to that place, and my circumstances are slightly different with my current injuries, as well as my level of fatigue. But I'm optimistic that with a new program, that I can work myself back up again. I think the fatigue has alot to do with my state of mind too. My physio seems to think that it will only take me about 3 months with what I've got planned. I'm thinking more like 6 months. Fingers crossed hey?

Anyway...here's to getting back on track and listening to what my head and heart are telling me. And here's to continuing to discover my best me! I haven't quite figured it out, but I think I'm well on my way.

* Weigh-in: 60.4kg