Expecting Perfection = Exercise in Futility

"Strength is taking a look at where you are and, from there, getting to where you want to be, no matter how hard it is or how long it takes to get there."

My weekend was an opportunity to learn some valuable lessons and to remind myself that some lessons are harder to master than others.

Being in the AR has provided some invaluable lessons, of which many I've learnt through the continual exposure to 'out of my comfort zone' experiences. Just when you think you've finally worked it out and have got the hang of how things work, there will inevitably be moments when this false sense of security will be shattered.

But I've worked out that it's not so much the culture of the AA, because I've been in long enough to understand it. It was and is, my decision to expose myself to an environment where 'being comfortable' is for babies. Regardless of the challenges, if you want to make progress as a person, and maintain your sanity, you need to learn how to respond differently to the external stuff that is being thrown at you.

In a nutshell, and we've heard this before..."It's not what happens to us - it's how we respond to what happens."

It's hard for me to accept that in the AA we constantly f*ck up, because we are constantly learning and applying that knowledge in an environment where decisions need to be made quickly.

And what I've discovered from those who have been around a bit longer in the game, is that it's actually pretty normal and that it's actually okay to f*ck up. It's okay because they're not going to let you fail. They're just going to allow you to be exposed to (certain) situations over and over again until you get it! So I have to overcome this fear of not getting things right the first time...or the second time...or..or... Obviously, there are some situations where you can't f*ck up - like when it comes to safety. But you get the jist of what I'm saying.

But in general (and it's harder in reality), it's about accepting that some things we're not the best at, and it will take time to get better at it.

Why am I I telling you this?

I think sometimes that as we get older, we avoid doing things and gaining more experiences, because there's this expectation that we should have it all worked out and have the answers and be wise and all-knowing. But then, we get that confused with doing everything right all the time, and that's not what experience is all about. Experience requires alot of mistakes in order to learn and to grow. And I think as we get older that we fear being seen as someone who makes alot of mistakes, so we deliberately avoid doing different things which put us out of our comfort zone, and we inevitably lose opportunities to make new discoveries and learn valuable skills.

We want to be able to tell people that we're good at what we do. We want to appear from the outside, that we've got our shit together and we're pretty hot shit! But the reality is, if we want to make progress, then we're going to be looking silly and making stupid mistakes...alot.

So the question is...

Do we want to look cool all the time and not make mistakes and miss out on valuable experiences and the opportunity to grow in skill and as a person?

or...

Do we want to live a life being exceptional, by learning to let go; being less than than perfect; knowing very well that we're going to make lots of mistake and look silly alot in order to grow, and be accepting of that?

* P.S. On a different note - on the weekend, I reached one of my 2011 AR fitness test goals of 40 push-ups, and wiped 4 seconds off my running time - all with little sleep and fatigued legs! Sometimes there are positives in our experiences. We just need to look for them. :)