The Soft Whisper of Ying

"Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something,

and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent."

- Dalai Lama

I didn't get much sleep last night. I don't function well or handle things as well as I normally do when I have little sleep. Phil has a cold (as do I too) and when she has a blocked nose, she finds it difficult to sleep and is very restless. We put her in our bed last night (AW slept in her bed) to keep an eye on her. However, the downside is, I get very little quality sleep with Phil constantly turning and twisting, heavily breathing and kicking me while moving.

I was rather annoyed, considering I was to return to Wing Chun training tonight. I feel like crap today, so will have to give it a miss once again to ensure I get a good night's sleep. Luckily, I have the option of training on Wednesday night. Tomorrow is Crossfit and Reserves in the evening, so I want to make sure I'm well rested and feeling my best.

Anyway...in my state of interrupted sleep, many thoughts came to the fore, as well as strange dreams. My dreams have once again become quite prolific in the last 6 months or so, with them becoming more detailed and frequent only in the last 3 months. There was quite a period of time, years actually, where I think I suppressed those dreams, though not consciously. I think that since getting back in touch with my deeper feelings and being more at peace with myself, it has released something deep within me.

In regard to our physical being, I believe you need to take heed of the warning signs or messages your body gives you. Things like when you're fatigued or injured. It's important to be in tune with your body, so that you can give it what it needs to heal and to be at your optimum.

And so, these last few months I think my body has been sending me messages. And amongst those messages to take heed of the injuries of late, has been the soft whisper of Ying.

I remember many years ago, in the thick of my martial arts training, my masseuse, Gareth would reiterate to me..."Kerry, you need more Ying and less Yang!" Of course, I would laugh it off. Besides, I was young, strong and disciplined. I loved training and I loved training hard. I would train with the men at every opportunity, because I thought girls fought like, well...girls! At that stage I was training six days per week in martial arts, and training hard.

And on weekends I would cycle for hours, lost in the freedom and exhilaration of pushing myself on the hill climbs around the back of Springwood, Daisy Hill and Rochedale, and feeling the wind in my hair on those steep descents. Pure bliss...hmmm...cycling...might be time to revisit those feelings, since running isn't a realistic option for my future health.

The thing is, I've always loved going hard. There's always been a part of me that knew eventually, that pursuing a Yang existence alone, would not be sustainable forever. During my time in martial arts I've trained and taught Tai Chi and Qi Gong, but I never took these skills to the next level in my own development. I wanted to learn as much (Shaolin) Kung Fu as I could, while I physically could. There's still a big part of me that wants to get stronger again, and continue where I left off in the pursuit of the more physically demanding skills of martial arts.

However, the last few months has made me realise that maybe it's time to bring the balance of more Ying into my life. It's time to start connecting with the deeper and more spiritual side of my physical existence. Not only to help heal my body, but to strengthen it physically in a way which is more conducive to longevity. And to do that, it's time to spend time quieting the mind...stopping that monkey mind or my inner gollum...developing my intuition and awareness, in order to achieve a life more simple, yet more qualititive, and to help take the skills I already have, to a deeper, more meaningful and enriching level.

So I think the time is near to start on the path of some meditation, and revisit my Qi-Gong. I flurted with meditation while practicing Buddhism, some 15 years ago now. I've been thinking of going back to the temple to do some meditation classes to get me on my way.

Anyway...I'll leave you with a link to a new blog I've recently discovered thanks to Andrew and Wendy. It's called Lessons from the Monk I Married, and this is a post on 'Meditation'.

As far as silence goes, I'm finding that it's something I'm yearning more of these days. I enjoy my own company and being lost in my thoughts, but my thoughts become too busy and at times I tend to overanalyse. I also wish at times that I would shut my mouth and say nothing. It always brings to mind a quote from the Tao Te Ching...

"Those who know don't talk. Those who talk don't know. Close your mouth, block off your senses, blunt your sharpness, untie your knots, soften your glare, settle your dust. "