It's not often I feel 'melancholy', but today is one of those days.
It feels strange, considering I'm pretty happy most of the time, and it takes alot for me to get down. Luckily, I bounce back pretty quickly. No doubt by the finish of tonight's workout, all should be well in the world.
I know the reason...suffice to say that AW has been in his 'cave' for over a month now, and has poked his head out on the odd occasion to flash a (fleeting) smile. Just enough to give me a glimmer of hope.
It feels strange, considering I'm pretty happy most of the time, and it takes alot for me to get down. Luckily, I bounce back pretty quickly. No doubt by the finish of tonight's workout, all should be well in the world.
I know the reason...suffice to say that AW has been in his 'cave' for over a month now, and has poked his head out on the odd occasion to flash a (fleeting) smile. Just enough to give me a glimmer of hope.
The thing is, when I'm a little melancholy I've discovered that 'emotional eating' seems to rear it's ugly head. Not that it's really been an issue while on these programs...it hasn't...until now. No...I haven't had a binge or anything - just a few little morsels here and there - though deep down I know it's the start to a very slippery slope. Since I've done so much reading...forums, blogs, articles, etc I am quite aware of what's happening and my thought processes.
Understanding the 'why' can help to stave off what you know you really want to do, i.e. BINGE! So even though the thoughts are there, I don't think I'm doing too badly on that front. I even considered buying one of those fundraiser chocolates today. Luckily I had to take them back, and resisted any temptations until they were off my hands...phew!! I never bought even one...yay to me!
So anyway...when I'm melancholy I think (o..oh!...lol...). It occurred to me that unless you've got all your emotional stuff, and your life pretty balanced without too many negative influences, that it's much easier to remain strong and positive! So to all those who have a lot of SHIT going on in their lives, and you're still persisting...I commend you! And I really hope you work out your shit real soon - because it's so energy-draining!
Ciao for now...Kerry :/
P.S. I love listening to Nina Simone when I have the 'blues' - I liken it to listening to country-and-western...you feel like slitting your wrist because it's so tragic (sorry if you like C&W). Though I don't have the same suicidal tendencies after listening to Nina...lol...
6 comments:
I'm with you Kerry... funny cause I thought exactly the same thing after I read your blog... think we might have been writing at the same time too! Freaky! Must just be the weather then... cheer up... times like these are tough and you've come such a long way... you will pull through I'm sure of it! You are one strong and inspiring woman, but you are allowed to have your down times... one thing I love about being a woman is that we can cry for no reason and no one can say anything about it... it's something we own :)
Thanks Kristin. Much appreciated.
Embrace the sadness, I say. It's what makes us human. A man holed away in a cave is not intimate, and it would be unnatural to be happy about it. Re what Kristin was saying about crying: I think women tend to cry when feeling painful (and sometimes happy) emotions, and men tend to retreat to the cave (which is sometimes a dunny with a newspaper).
I wish emotional eating were my current vice. I think binge smoking is a shocker, and at least you're not resorting to that. :)
You're not a machine Kerry (even though I think I've called you one).
You can't expect to be as disciplined as you have for SOOO long and not have a BLAH period or feel like going off track.. But you are more disciplined than most and able to mostly curb those feelings and you should be commended on that.
HI Kerry,
I have been reading your blog for ages and has inspired me more then you could imagine.
You are allowed to be down and have slip ups we are all human. You have been so amazing for ever so don't be so hard on yourself.
OK there I have spoken.
Ha Ha
Petah
Thanks girls for lending a shoulder, and being sympathetic and supportive. It's the perfectionist in me, and yeah, I know we can't all be strong all the time. In a way, sometimes we need to experience these things, so we can understand what others go through.
Ciao for now...Kerry :)
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